AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

You mean to say you haven’t got your sprouts boiling already, @Ohnonotmeagain? 🫢😧

Don’t you know they will be dangerously undercooked on Christmas Day? 😉😂

No. It’s always been stockings on our bed, breakfast then taking turns opening main presents.

We don’t see wider family on Christmas Day and I don’t want to wait till dinner time for my presents! 😁

If you are cooking because you love it, then brilliant.

If not, why just why? Why are you doing it, and why are you complaining about it? No one is making you! I can't think of anyone, child or adult, who would genuinely be grateful because someone decided to martyr themselves and spend 45 mn watching vegetables!

It would more likely spoiling the day to hear about how grateful we should be about that nonsense, that no one wants, no ones ask for.

and we all know no 3 year old Christmas would be magical and full of memories without the boiled sprouts 😂

It's a 50p sheet of wrapping paper from the corner shop, and all the blankets in the entire house, piled on top of a dining-room chair in the hall, which no-one may move or touch.

My first thought was good luck keeping a 3 year old away from the presents under the tree all day! 😂

Usually the adults run out of presents first, just the way it is.

But last year mum and I decided that's rubbish, so we've bought each other one thing per month all year. And a main present. So we've got at least 13 things each. (Small token things that won't go to waste, socks, shower gel, books from a charity shop etc)

They should be old enough to wait. If not then don't put the presents under the tree until it is opening time.

I wouldn't let a child dictate how a whole day is spent.

Well, I've obviously been a very naughty girl because he does not give me anything! (off in a strop now!) 😂

It's absolutely absurd some of it. The Victorian thing I can't believe someone posted with a presumably straight face. And all the horribly loaded language about 'ripping', 'frenzy' while the later openers are clearly all being very mindful and demure, allusions to it being a 'class' thing. The only thing I know is that quite a few of these posts are entirely without class.

Finally...commonsense....no fixed by statute rules and no sweating in the kitchen.

Clearly you haven’t met many excited 3 year olds at Christmas! It’s totally normal.

A child excited by presents under the tree is not dictating how the day goes but it will mean constant asking from them as to when is it time to open the presents!

Why are they ‘ripping them open’ in the morning but not if they do it later? Some odd judgemental language on this thread.

Eh? Chuck Turkey in. Open presents all together. Go back to prepping dinner.

Because those doing it after lunch are classy and demure, mindfully removing each piece of tape while the rest of the family gaze on adoringly waiting for the big reveal.

I wouldn't like that.

The stocking is a few basic items, mainly edibles.

Then present opening downstairs and taking it in turns to open a present.

Family gifts are opened as they arrive.

That’s what I thought. Apparently the time of day that presents are opened alters the method by which they’re opened too! In the morning they’re ’ripped open in a frenzy’ and after lunch they’re ’opened quietly and sedately in a sea of gratitude’ 😂

Ours will probably get ripped, and then the 3YO will cry because the paper is ripped.

Exactly my thoughts - ‘cruelty’?! I find the gross misapplication of that term fairly offensive when applied to opening presents given the sentencing going in the Old Bailey today.

We always had stocking presents in the morning and tree presents after lunch (we eat early at 12pm because my dad is a gannet). Big presents it would depend on what they were - for example the years we got roller skates we were allowed to open those in the morning so that we could go whizzing run the cul-de-sac before lunch and get out from under our parents feet burn off some energy before lunch.

If you are merging traditions you need to find a happy medium that works for everyone and factor in what time you do other things during the day like eat, watch a Christmas movie together, etc. Do what suits you best.

I am taking quite an exception to calling others ‘twee’ on this thread for simply following an age old tradition that has continued in this country for hundreds of years. Yes the weighty stockings are from the oranges that were such treats at that time.

Father Christmas not ‘Santa’ - he was indeed Father Christmas a wise and learned man - candles, traditions, heavy laden stockings this is the very essence of an English Christmas and I for one celebrate the continuity, the history and our many many ancestors to many is a source of comfort and yes joy. Are we allowed to use that word even?

I'm on Team Husband here.

Let the children open their gifts whenever they want. The adults can all wait if that's what they prefer.

(And you have no guarantee the 'one exciting gift' will occupy a DC for five minutes, let alone all morning).

Nothing relaxing about kids opening presents wheee you have to take note who gave what to who for thank you letters. The children playing with the toys is much better food coma territory. I don’t get your point about gratitude. How does the time the present is opened affect who they think it came from?

I've had 2 of my own as well as lots of nieces and nephews.

Of course they're excited and they do ask, but you tell them we're waiting until it's dark and keep them entertained until then.

No, the later openers are abusive and mean.

If your excitement is just about opening presents, maybe. My enjoyment, and my family’s (all ages) is equally about spending time together and playing with the new toys/board games.