AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

We do all the presents in the morning, they get GP pressies later on or on subsequent days. I think you should compromise and do some in the morning and save a few back for after lunch

Your way is miserable. I know I wouldn't have eaten lunch if hadn't had presents.

Stagger presents by the visitors giving theirs later in the day as another poster suggested.

Surprised at all the comments that think it's borderline child abuse to do this. It's not a big deal, here are some presents let's open them then have dinner then open some more. Seems like you get more time to calmly play with each 'batch' of gifts then without the overwhelm of loads at once.

That said you should compromise but I don't think your way is miserable.

I'd probably just play by ear on the day.

We don’t see our extended family on the day (we’re 100s of miles away!) so they can’t bring them on the day.

My family did the same re presents and I enjoyed having something to look forward to after lunch. I don't have cousins though - will it cause any issues if there are big disparities in number/value of gifts between cousins? You'll also need to make sure all family who will be there in the afternoon are on the same page re presents timing. If the cousins are all on your side and do the same, that makes sense

It seems really sensible to me but then I don't have and have never had any other children staying over, or relatives staying over other than my parents.

DDs always open their presents first thing (more sedately after breakfast these days now they are in their teens- we used to do Father Christmas sacks in their rooms). As do we - anything under the tree for us.

If we are going to the in-laws for dinner we go over about 11.30am and have champagne and canapes, and we all open further presents to one another.

I think with a three year old whatever you do it's a good idea to stagger presents a bit and not overwhelm them.

We are always a bit sleepy after lunch so not having anything further to do is quite welcome afaic. Particularly when I've cooked it.

Always done it your way OP. Stocking presents are opened one at a time over the morning so that everything gets looked at, talked about, played with, tried on etc. and not just chucked on a pile of goodies: I believe that even the less interesting presents (clothes) deserve a bit of attention on the day. Other gifts are opened after lunch with relatives present or in the evening (when talking to other family on Skype). DS is now 10 and has never had any problem spreading out the present opening this way. It keeps the anticipation/excitement high throughout the day and means that he actually appreciates every gift whether big or small.

Open all presents in the morning and then open presents from the extended family after dinner. Your putting too much thought in to this so I would just relax about it. I get this it's all good intentions as you want the best Christmas for your children but just relax about it all x

I'm team DH here

Our tradition is stockings in bed first thing, and then downstairs to see if Santa has been straight away.
Small wait whilst the dog is let out for its morning business, fed and cups of tea are made.
Then back in to the lounge for the kids to open as and when they please, normally suggesting they might want to pass out a present to me or OH every few presents or so.
Everything comes from Santa here, so after they've done that pile there will be a few things under the tree from family we won't be seeing.
Then there will be presents throughout the day from family we are seeing.

Mine are a bit older than yours OP, but I remember when my first was that young present opening went on in to Boxing Day - there's so much for them to wrap their heads around so I didn't want to overwhelm or rush, we just followed her lead.

There's no right/wrong/best or worse way to do it - it's a personal preference and a lot to do with what you are used to.

Hope you find a compromise OP - putting your foot down is defo not the way to go.

We did it your way op and always had a lovely day, still do it that way now

Compromise! E.g. Santa stocking presents on your bed. Then everyone downstairs for a lovely coffee/ hot chocolate. Immediate family presents can be opened (I.e. those from you/dh/your children). Lunch with extended family, then open extended family presents.

You could have breakfast before opening Immediate family presents if kids are still happily playing with stocking fillers.

We did it your DH's way as little kids then as we got older my dad would enforce your way and we hated it. So having experienced both I say YABU!

The OP asked in AIBU if her way was miserable and I answered. Can't see how anything I wrote is 'not on' given the question. Have you read the other replies?

Also, do kids not help with the Christmas lunch any more? That was how I spent my morning (tasks changed as I got older but when I was too young to help cook I made menus and name cards and decorated/set the table). Even if not actually helpful while they're young, I do think that helps with raising children who are aware of the work and effort that goes into Christmas, rather than having them spend the whole day playing with new days

compromise is crucial. It's his Christmas and his child as well.

When we spend Christmas with family, we open all presents from us in the morning, and then do family presents after lunch (aunts, uncles, grandparents etc). What about something like that?

We have always done it your way. not miserable at all. Persuade your husband of the benefits rather than putting your foot down

My two sons are cooking Xmas lunch while I play with my new toys.
They are 25 and 15 though.

We have Father Christmas first then when we get up we have a coffee and whilst dc were playing with what they got from FC adults organise drinks and crudités and picky things Then when everyone has a drink in hand we start the mad present opening. Everyone gets their piles of presents and it’s a free for all

After we have cleared the floor of wrapping paper etc then it’s time to start dinner.

Dinner is served at 3pm - 6 or 7pm with board games, card games and setting fire to paper hats and Christmas crackers etc (what are candles supposed to be used for)

Then it is a Christmas Movie and then more board games and chatting and playing
Dc get to bed about same time as me

Sadly we don’t have a kitchen big enough for our 3 young children to be involved in the cooking. DH cooks (he enjoys it) while I play with the children. We don’t eat until the evening though and we don’t have turkey so no one spends hours in the kitchen and the majority of the day is spent together.

do you get together with family, if so, there is an easy compromise.

Presents from Father Christmas, parents, and anyone else who sent presents in advance during the morning.

presents from the extended family when you meet up with them later in the day for Christmas dinner.

that way grandparents get to see their gifts opened. The present opening is spread out.

Similar here.

We don’t put up the tree until Christmas Eve and all presents are laid out (except the family gift from Father Christmas), stockings hung up, etc.

Christmas Day; stockings first thing - would include a book, games, chocolate, mini can of pop which they can ‘entertain’ themselves with.

Then we’d open the presents just between us and the kids. Followed by breakfast.

Between main course and dessert we’d open presents from the people we were with. In fact, when they were really young we’d spread presents out over 3-4 days. Which meant they got to enjoy and play with the gifts as they opened them and not pressured into opening the ‘next one’ for the pleasure of the adults.

I can say, hand on heart, the kids have never felt deprived, life was unfair or we were rigid. They enjoyed it lasting longer and miss that as adults!

We do something in between. Stockings early so whenever kids wake up. Everyone then goes to whoever is hosting (usually mums house) and we eat breakfast as a family. Pork pie naturally with croissants for the non believers...

Then we gather in the lounge to open the rest of them.

Tbh I didn't know this wasn't normal until I read this thread. After lunch (which for us is usually 3pm what with pork pie breakfast) is far too late.