AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

@Mrswhatsit40

”…everyone wants everything right away and children aren't expected to wait for anything.”

Sadly, so true.

We have stockings in the morning, then breakfast and then open presents taking turns. That’s what we did when I was a kid but I also think it works well

Well that's just odd! The presents should appear on Christmas eve. Or if from extended family, they should bring them on the day.

I think it would be much nicer to open presents with your 3 year old in peace, without loads of other family around. At 3 he may not want to do them all anyway he may want to play. But chances are if you wait till after lunch he will be over tired , over stimulated and will be getting upset and frustrated.

The performative present opening is a lot of pressure I think.

It discourages kids from getting up so bloody early if all it means is they wait longer to get presents though. I did stocking for mi e which included fruit and mini cereal for them to eat as well as activity packs and a book etc. They were allowed to have TV on while they are ( which was a treat) Usually got up around 8 is. But after stocking tv etc it was nearer 10.30 by the time they were getting washed and dressed.

So taken out to run off some energy for an hour. Lunch used to be appx 1pm. Presents by 2 so still hours left to play with them

Can't have been that traumatic for them as they do the same with their own kids

Agree, and same.
It's all about the presents Christmas morning, definitely unreasonable imo to expect everyone to wait until after dinner for them!
#TeamDH

Atrocious! There's the nest hyperbole I've read today.

They aren't, they get their FC presents first thing whenever they wake up. Just wait for the others.

Really not that unusual.

I agree with DH, this is miserable.

The poor kids have to wait pretty much the whole day, including sitting through a long, drawn out dinner, to open their presents. The whole fun of Christmas Day is opening the presents and having the whole day to play with your new toys, with a break for dinner.

Imagine being 3 and having boring adults fussing about in the kitchen all morning and then trying to make you eat sprouts and drinking champagne for 2 hours whilst your presents are sat there and you're desperate to know if you got the Paw Patrol Garage or not.

Your way is all about the adults.

I had a friend whose family did this, but I wouldn’t have liked it. I was so excited to open all my presents on Christmas morning and so are my children (or at least the youngest is). If they had a relative who wasn’t coming until Christmas afternoon they could wait for that present and open it with them then.

I would hate this. The best part of Christmas morning for me is creeping downstairs with excited children, wondering if he has been. Then, seeing their wee faces when they see stuffed stockings and present sacks. Makes my day.

Well that's just odd! The presents should appear on Christmas eve. Or if from extended family, they should bring them on the day.
Why is it odd? I was never familiar with the idea of FC delivering all presents until I was an adult on MN so never occurred to me, or DH or anyone on either side of our family to hide the presents until Christmas Eve.

I think that's a great idea. Children that age can't concentrate on loads of presents at once. We always used to do it this way when DS was this age and it worked out great.
Ignore the old misery guts on here.

I did it your way growing up = only child and vcar's daughter so dad was always worn out. Christmas wasn't great fun. DH is from a wrap it in lurid paper, hang tinsel everywhere and rip it all off family. Our children are now grown up but it's always stockings first (not on the bed now all 4 of them usually bring their partners - would be weird to have 8 other adults on our bed while dh and I are still sitting in it!!) then presents in the morning - sometimes they have to wait if I have been persuaded to play the organ in the village church but will have breakfast ready for when I get back. Always coffee first! My Christmas was quite lonely and dull, dh's sounds like hell on earth to me. Somewhere in the middle hits the right note.

What a horrible way to do Christmas!
Op, I hate to break it to you, but Christmas is not about you and your “wants”. It’s for children.
What kind of parent makes a 3 year old wait all day to open their presents??

Also, as other posters have said, you are not the dictator. You’re in a marriage. With a child.
Put the child first and listen to your husband.

We did it your way. Relatives didn't turn up till late morning...with their presents,chat,drink,lunch,sit down, exchange presents. My DD tried the other way, when the kids were small, ripped everything open, hardly looked at anything or appreciated it, then annoyed because there was no more.

This is how we always did Xmas as it's my Dad's birthday on Xmas day, so we would have stockings then his birthday then lunch then presents. I much prefer it as you have something to look forward to after lunch!

DH's family do presents before lunch, but they had stockings first thing.

We have always done it my way at our house as we always spend Xmas with my Dad.

I'm with you OP. All of it.

Even as an adult I don't like OPs way. My parents set a time before which we weren't allowed to wake them but after that it was crazy excitement and fun. My PILs did OPs way and when we stayed with them I found Christmas incredibly boring, no excitement and magic. Instead we all sat in a circle at the appropriate time opening presents one by one. Also quite awkward for those who didn't receive that many presents and were excluded from the later rounds of terribly ordered present opening.😴

Stocking first thing in the small hours, tree presents once everyone is up and fully awake.

…you PLAY with your presents after lunch

I never understood the urgency of creating traditions. I also thought traditions were things that just naturally happened. You don't force them upon others do you?

We did it your way as DC, with my DC and now DGC. It’s not miserable at all! It keeps the excitement and anticipation going throughout the day.

I still remember the year we asked our parents to let us open our presents in the morning. The rest of the day felt dull and flat, like an interminable 70s Sunday 😂 Lots of adults doing boring adult things, rushing around making food and topping up great aunt’s sherry, asking stupid questions about school, but no one with time to build Barbie’s dream house or play Hungry Hippos with us until the afternoon, by which time we were fed up and bored.

It also makes the morning less stressful. No clock watching and stressing about getting through presents in time for church, guests arriving or putting the turkey in the oven. After lunch, when all the work is done, the adults can relax and enjoy opening their presents. If you have grandparents coming on the day, they get to enjoy watching the DC open the gifts from them.

Mine open their presents slowly in the morning, take note of who they’re from, play with them and appreciate them. I’m not sure why opening in the morning would automatically turn kids into feral, ungrateful brats if they weren’t already that way inclined.

We used to do something similar when I was a child - stockings in bed, breakfast and church for those who wanted to go, nibbles and main present opening at 1ish and then Christmas dinner at 6-ish. We were also always told that stocking was from Santa and anything under the tree was from family/friends.

I suppose we never knew anything different so it never bothered me or my siblings, and it was quite nice that the day was dragged out (for want of a better phrase) so there was always something to look forward to throughout.