Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

Extraordinary.

Had it been my DD I would have been offering to buy a replacement the moment I knew it had happened. I’m sorry.

Perhaps your DSis’s and BIL’s presents can be returned.

I would wrap it up and give it to her for Christmas. Nothing else.

At 5 she most certainly has a clue and if
not she should've been told by her parents and punished. That is very poor behaviour. Yes they should replace.

Sadly yes, we're all spending Christmas at my parents house 🙃

You could always get a marker pen and write your name on something your sister cares about.

Children only acquire this awareness through being taught by their parents. The parents found the incident cute, hence, I don't expect any teaching took place. So yes, it is perfectly possible that a 5 year old doesn't have a clue because it is not the type of skill which children typically gain independently.

The world has gone mad!

She's destroyed your property and people think you should gift it to her !!
My girls would have paid for that out of pocket money and had a stern telling off .
I would have instantly paid to replace it and been horrified by my child's behaviour.
She knew exactly what she had done and that's incredibly sly and entitled.

I definitely wouldn't give it to her because that's rewarding bad behaviour.
In all honesty I would have kept it out of her way, knowing how attractive it would have been to her. Was nobody watching her while she was colouring? TBH if I were the parents I'd definitely offer something toward a new case, but it doesn't sound like these parents will.

Play the long game if they dont replace it now... Karma is going to bite them in the arse when this kid is 7 or 8 and completely unmanageable.

I'd be Whatsapping them a link to a replacement one and making it clear you expect a replacement.

If they refuse spend what you would have on their presents on buying one.

Or just get a roll of lining paper from B&Q and a set of pencils for the child's Christmas gift and spend the rest of it on replacing your case.

Can't imagine not replacing something my daughter had ruined.
And please don't justify to strangers buying something you want with your own money! Doesn't matter if it was the Rhode one, diamond encrusted, or a cheapo from Amazon; they should replace it.

What on earth, of course they should replace it! I can’t imagine not doing so in this situation. How can they think that’s ok?

You’re not being petty, don’t dismiss yourself like that. You’re entitled to have your property respected. Your sis and BIL should have been watching her like a hawk and correcting her behaviour so she learns what is and isn’t acceptable in other peoples houses.

Yeah try this

This is a perfect response.

I'm justifying it because I do realise it's a lot of money to have spent on a phone case, but I also didnt just buy it as a whim, I'd wanted it for months and then decided to buy it.

I'm just annoyed that they're trying to write it off as a childish thing

She's five not a toddler. My child would be in trouble for that.

It's probably not worth falling out over but you are entitled to be pissed off.

Have you tried a magic sponge on it? Gets things out that nothing else will so might be worth a shot.

I'd have made sure her pens were the washable type. Mine haven't deliberately drawn on anything but they have been clumsy with a kid off or gone off the paper etc.

I’d be beyond embarrassed if my DC did this and would be paying for a new one. DC would not get the destroyed case as it’s rewarding it and they would be in massive trouble!

It's your money.
Buy gold plated loo roll if you want to.
They are trying to make it look like it's a you issue when really it's a them issue.

It's the first time something like this has happened.

She definitely looks down on me in a way, because I'm not where she was at 25, but I'm happy and to me that's all that should matter

Heard micellar water might help

Well yes children who are never taught their behaviour is wrong tend to be assholes as teens. At 5 she’s not a baby. Most parents have or are teaching their children that art stays on the paper not walls or other peoples possessions.

You also don’t reward them with an item they have defaced.

But she loves the thing, so that would be rewarding her for her bad behaviour. It'll teach her that if she wants something that belongs to someone else she only has to deface it and they'll give it to her.

It would be better to just give her a piece of paper for Christmas and explain to her that she was going to get a real present but unfortunately you've had to spend the money replacing your phone case that she damaged. And then explain that her parents should have taught her this lesson but since they're not taking their job as her parents seriously you're having to do it for them.