Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

Have you got little ones? If so, next time you're round their house, give your little ones Sharpies and tell them their Auntie and Uncle would LOVE a beautiful picture on their walls 😂

Or save that up for when you do have little ones...and go on about what a masterpiece it is and how they can't possibly paint over it, it would knock your child's confidence in their creative ability 😁

Yes, I absolutely would expect them to cough up the £38!

That is fair. I don’t know if in my view it is the best decision for your family in the long run, but this is totally your choice. 😁

Nice one. Perhaps she's working out that it really would have been cheaper to hand over the £38.

Good for you - it sounds like it's time you stood up for yourself and drew some boundaries. But it's usually a bit of a shock to people when you do, so be prepared for the fallout. They are in the wrong here, and have treated you very poorly, so just remember that when they start suggesting you stop taking it so seriously and being so upset and difficult about it all. They will prefer that you don't change the status quo in the family relationships, and expect to be treated with consideration and respect, as that what suits them. Wishing you the best of luck.

Rhode "fall Lip Case" 3D Lip Gloss Phone Case Cover For iphone 15 iphone 16 | eBay

It's awful

Don’t buy one then.

People’s opinion on the phone case isn’t relevant to OPs thread.

I really hope you didn't give it to her.

She should have been told that you don't do that to other people's things.

Then if they want to buy her that case for xmas, ok. But it shoudn't be that she did that and now she gets one.

Its a lot more than the phone case🙄.
The phone case is the final annoyance.
Well done for your attitude of so be it.

Family that treats you poorly is not family you need.
Sadly being a lot less invested and available is the only way to deal with twatty people.

That escalated quickly. I don't think the case is too pricey if you get a fancy lip balm with it. I wouldn't want a case I had to use specific lip balm but a case with a lipstick pocket might be a good idea

If there is a rift it is of the sister's making.
There will always be pushback when you stand up to CFs. That's how CF's operate in the first place by making you do favours for them, with that slight threat in the background that they will be really upset with you, or you are a bad sister/aunt/daughter, if you don't do what they want ... because... family.
Then having agreed to do the first favour, there's another and another and because you said yes to that, you can't say no to the next one because you've already proved that its possible for you to do it.
They won't want their privileges being taken away so they will kick off in an effort to get you back into line, and to make you sorry for disobeying and by privileges I also mean the snide remarks, the digs, the belittling comments and cross examinations about your choices - which they so enjoy.
But once you've seen it in the clear light of day and that straw does actually break the camels back, its hard to let it continue.
I don't really know the answer as to how to overcome their push back.
Maybe people on here will have better ideas.
I think I would be clear with the Mum that you don't have an argument with her but you are fed up of the Dsis's attitude and you're not going to let her treat you like that and then demand favours, which she doesn't even appreciate you for. But in a very very calm way.
Maybe its not to let them draw you into an argument but to be bright, breezy as if everything is splendid and you do not have a beef but at the same time be resolute about what you will and won't do. Have some phrases up your sleeve that will shut down remarks or digs or attempts to argue. They have probably never have anyone say to them that one of their comments is rude or unacceptable.
Its not an easy path, but life changes and they have to accept that you are an adult with your own life. Best of luck OP and have fun at your Christmas Party

@losingweightandgainingconfidence Just got home and checked out your thread. Before it comes to an end, wanted to say your name says it all. And this thread is an adage to my philosophy in life, which is: hold your head high, don’t take any shit and don’t ever lose your sense of humour. I think 2025 will be your year: 25/26, what a fantastic age to be! Hope your Xmas goes well x

Lovely post xx

Wow a brat. And I never say that over kids

But she is 5

Old enough to know to not destroy or ruin people's property

And then to come in smirking

Obv you should be able to leave your phone on the side at your home without it being touched and ruined

And yes don't babysit her till your phone cover has been replaced - if on Amazon it can come wed thur on prime

I did have to google it and the bulge kinda looks like a small willy to me rather then vagina

But if you like it 😂😂😂

They have worked out that one evening of babysitting will cost them a lot more than a phone case. Don't fall for the crocodile tears.

@Karmaisagod 's post is spot on. I recognise a lot of my toxic family relationships in their. Address it now. Don't wait until your 50s like I did. 😳

@losingweightandgainingconfidence another one totally agreeing with your stance here. There are two people who are being wronged: you (obviously), but also your 5-year-old niece, who is clearly being totally let down by her parents: they are setting her up to be a monster in later life. By standing up for yourself, and making it really clear that her behaviour is not OK, you're helping her too.

If your Dsis isn't up to parenting her own child adequately, that's not your problem. Maintaining some distance sounds like an excellent idea. In this particular case, you've done the best that anyone could. And I would take that tack with your parents if Dsis is pushing back to them.

sorry no advice I’m 32 and have a 9 year old and a 3 year old I do understand we’re your coming from she could have offered to buy you a new one but also I wouldn’t have said yes if she did ! but we’re a real close family and kids will be kids! Im just here because Im currently going to order myself one now iv just googled it after seeing this thread and abso love it lol and was wondering do most lip glosses fit ? Haha sorry no help over here 😂

No non-washable textas and paint would be much better!
I'd be very surprised if the white board markers and pens and textas didn't come off with magic erasers or metho or Isocol. The scratches you are stuck with,

Ooooo, I know it's completely irrelevant but I really like that, wish they made them to fit my crappy old phone. Luckily it does not resemble my vulva in any way.

That’s all happened very fast

What will you do if sis replaces the case and has niece apologise to you?

I'm a bit confused; didn't OP's sister promise to replace the case a good few updates ago?

My phone case cost similar and I'd definitely expect them to replace it. If the situation was replaced then I'd immediately apologise and offer to replace it - and my DD would not be found funny or cute.

Not sure if anyone has said this but there's a cleaning solution called blue magic which is amazing - it's removed wine from my carpet which was there for hours and pen from my table which had been there weeks as I'd tried everything else first.

I have nieces, nephews and children of my own and they have never destroyed anything of mine. Even if they did their parents would replace it and admonish their kid. Your sister is a bully to you. You absolutely should spend your money on whatever you please. I hate parents like this. She will most likely be the bane of everyone's life and people will start backing out of meet ups with them if they keep this up. All I can say is glitter glue! And tonnes of it. Great present and the bane of every parents life!!! Well done OP for your weight loss and don't let them bully you. You sound lovely but maybe time for some confidence building and stop putting yourself down xxx

Just seen this. Perfect post. Onwards and upwards now. My 30 year old dd took her self to New Zealand for a year two months ago. The world is your oyster and it's your life to live xxx

I would say that's pretty bratty and should be punished with a chore by her parents. Your sister should pay to replace and your bratty niece should be made to apologize. I will however allow that she may be clueless that it's wrong because her parents have coddled her.

It is certainly not cute, and 5 is old enough to know better (IMHO). How has she made it to 5 without any sense of not messing with other people's things?