Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

The case would be ruined for me- £38 isn't a lot of money in the scheme of things, so the parents should replace it.

Definitely do NOT give the old one to this bratty child who at 5 is plenty old enough to know not to trash other people's things.

£38??

That's nothing!

You work, you are entitled to buy yourself whatever you damn well want!
It's sad when people feel guilty about buying themselves stuff- Go ahead and enjoy your purchases!

I wanted a Mulberry Anthony oak bag to go dog walking with - and found a really good second hand one - It's a Christmas present to myself, and no, I don't feel remotely 'guilty' 👍😂

Hopefully, those people will never be invited back to your house again, with or without their monsters. I cannot believe how rude people are when it comes to other people's belongings.

Need a new thread OP, this one is nearly full! (Mainly thanks to the PP who are debating your taste in phone cases and comparing it to their vaginas?!)

Anything heard from your DM? Hoping she doesn't as she doesn't need to be involved.

Good for you for sticking to your guns. Your sister will be wary of you going forwards and will hopefully stop taking the piss of your generous nature. Lesson learned hopefully!

Wrap it up and if she likes it that much it can be here Christmas present. Then return the gift you bought her and get yourself a new one. Well done on the weight loss too btw 👏👏👏

When my nephew dropped my sons phone (didn't drop it they were both at fault as my son told him it was indestructible so he thought hed test the theory). The first thing my sister did was reprimand him and offer to get the screen fixed. That's what a good parent does. I didn't take her up on the offer but I appreciated the sentiment. Both boys were told off straight away and apologised. It's more your sister and brother in laws reaction thats got to you and that's totally understandable. They should of been mortified, told her off, made her apologise and offer to buy you a new one. Instead, they laughed and made out like you were over sensitive. I'm glad you pulled your sister up on this as this pattern of behaviour and disrespect from your sister and BIL has to stop. The dynamics needs to change even if that means you feel anxious for while for sticking to your guns. They need you more than you need them so they need to change their attitude and sharpish. Well done for saying enough is enough.

I've woken up to (separate) texts from my sister and BIL. Essentially they're saying they've been trying for a second baby for a good couple of years, it's not happened and they've been told to try IVF.

Not 100% convinced, but I'm also not going to question my sister when she tells me something like that, so I guess that's why they've kicked off at me.

My sister has ordered a new case, and some other goodies, she sent me the order confirmation - but I guess that counts as payment for all of the childcare I've done for them over the years.

I won't go back to doing free childcare, but I'm going to let sleeping dogs lie. It's Christmas and I don't want to cause a family upset about it. Still no text from mum so I'm assuming they chose not to tell her!

what the hell does IVF have to do with anything?

and does that excuse what you’ve conveyed here? The years of putting you down?

My sister has ordered a new case, and some other goodies, she sent me the order confirmation - but I guess that counts as payment for all of the childcare I've done for them over the years.

oh don’t you start being silly too OP

@MyGladBiscuit god knows. She's always been the type to lash out when she's stressed. If what she's said is true, they've had a rough couple of years, but haven't we all? I've not gone back to her yet but I'll be saying that while that's a shame, it doesn't excuse it.

Exactly! They (sis&bil) have form for not respecting you so the vagina case (sorry😉😄) was what broke the camel's neck. About time you stood up for yourself OP. Now I count on you to not back down because your sis will go back to her old ways treating you disrespectfully IF YOU LET HER. Just don't. This week-end your busy (even if it's just relaxing at home) and any furure requests of childcare will be treated as requests not obligations and be taking into consideration only if you have been treated with respect.

I would just love to have a sister like you🥰

Not at all. But it's a problem for after Christmas isn't it, as angry as I am (and I am angry), I also don't want to cause a family argument at the Christmas dinner table.

Much better to do it in the new year 😅

That isn't relevant to them parenting the child they do have though, or justify taking it out on other people, especially those who have helped them.

This is the good old fashioned guilt trip.

Don't let it work.

I know. And I know conversations will be needed, but she is also my sister and I'm not going to kick her while she's down right now. We'll have a conversation about it it though

Yep. They could start by correctly parenting the child they got🙄.

so all the messages you sent to friends etc yesterday… fallen by the wayside?

like she does to you?

oh all this will be swept under the carpet

until the next thread you start

@MyGladBiscuit no, I still have my spa weekend booked in this weekend, a friend is joining me. No overexcited, overtired children for me this weekend

You're right here, but I don't think that's an excuse for treating you like shit. Enjoy Christmas and be less available next year.

and you’re going to, yes?

Anyway, the thread is nearly full, so thank you to everyone who gave me nice words and advice. And genuinely, thank you to all the vagina case comments - I will laugh everyday at my phone case because I now cannot unsee it either 🤣

Can’t get my head around the mentality of any parent thinking that it wasn’t their responsibility to replace the case.

so since last night you booked one? sorry i missed this