Niece ruined my phone case, DSis and BIL refusing to replace it

[losingweightandgainingconfidence]

This is possibly the pettiest thing to ever be posted on here but I need to know if I'm going insane.

I (F25) purchased myself a Rhode phone case - it's a phone case that holds your lip balm in the back of it. Absolutely a frivolous and silly purchase, but I'd had my eye on one for ages and wanted one. They're expensive, but I got it as a treat to myself for losing weight. (I've lost a large amount of weight this year and wanted to treat myself)

My niece (5) has been obsessed won't this phone case. She's into all things makeup and girlie, and loves it. over the weekend my DSis, BIL and DN came over for lunch. I'm sat in the lounge chatting to them all, and my niece is off colouring somewhere. I've obviously left my phone on the side somewhere, probably on charge. She walks in grinning from ear to ear, holding my phone.

She's written her name all over the case, she's drawn smiley faces and the like. It won't come off, I've tried soaking it and everything.

My DSis immediately blamed me, because I "know how much she likes it" and my BIL said I may as well give it to her now as she's made it her own. I've said that if that's the case, I expect a replacement. It's not cheap and while yes it may have been seen as a waste of money, I work and I bought myself a treat.

I'm beyond angry, because it's my personal properly. AIBU to expect them to replace it?

The more you say about them, the more like cunts they sound.
I’d not bother spending Christmas with them and I’d tell all the adults involved precisely why.

If you can only keep a relationship with her by putting up with her treating you as a child because you’re not married with a baby at 25 (in itself, I would have said, a fairytale questionable decision), the is it really a relationship worth keeping? I don’t mean cut her off, but what’s the worst that could happen if you said ‘I’m not appreciating your attitude that I’m somehow not an adult because I rent and am childfree’?

If she did that at school she would be in trouble; ..I work with early years and they do not do that; 5 years old is more than old enough to know better.

I'm sorry your sister and BIL are useless ...it WILL come back to bite them when she's older but that doesn't help now, and it doesn't matter whether it was expensive or not, it's your property. I would have told her off big time myself too regardless of their feelings and no she would not be getting the case!

Honestly I'd return her presents and just give her the phone case with a kids lip balm in for Xmas.

for example over the summer I went on a holiday and they laughed at me because it wasn't to a luxury resort

Oh so it's ok with them to spend lots of money on that then. But a £38 phone case is too extravagant. They sound like arseholes.

If that was my child I would instantly be replacing the phone case. Saying “she has made it her own” is completely beside the point and so rude.

Your sister is an idiot for the way she treats you. She has no place being smug and looking down because you are not yet married mortgaged and raising a child, when she can’t parent a 5 year old. Shes hoping she gets one of those pretty princess mummy and daughter against the world shopping daughters.

Shes totally overlooked the teen off the rails due to lack of boundaries the possible teen pregnancy that come with that. For your nieces sake hopefully she grows her own good brain for your sister smugness she should get the daughter she deserves by her actions.

Christmas present.
Colouring book and pens.
For the sister a donation to a donkey charity and box of biscuits 😉

I wouldn't think twice about replacing it if I were them!

It sounds more like your sister is jealous of you in some way which manifests in laughing at you. She's the one that is immature. Perhaps she regrets some of her lift choices when she sees you having the freedom you currently have.

Buy yourself a replacement asap because:

1. When the new one arrives you are likely to be less annoyed about the damage to the old one.
2. You absolutely deserve it & don't need to give yourself a hard time about how much it cost.
3. Donate the old one to charity so that it can bring happiness to someone else.

I'd absolutely gift the sister and BIL a copy of the receipt for a replacement case. If you want to include the ruined case, that's ok, too, but I wouldn't be spending more money on them.

Definitely wasn't an accident!

OP you don't need to be apologetic about what you spent on the case, that seems like a normal amount to me. I always buy a new Pela case when I upgrade my phone.

That's ridiculous. Why would a 5 year old even need a phone case, presumably she doesn't have a phone? What if she takes a liking to your car, should you give her that as well?! Parents should have told her off the bat not to touch your phone case as it's not a toy. If they think it's cute that she wants to play with lip balms, then they should buy her something more age appropriate. I wouldn't be buying sister or BIL a Christmas gift if they're refusing to replace your phone case.

maybe post in a mumsent section where people give adive for cleaning stains. Have you tried an alcohol swab the ones you use before injections?

Why would you give her something she destroyed?! Surely she just learns oh if I break something, I get it

Definitely not being unreasonable in asking them to replace it. I hate parents like this, they often have incredibly spoilt/arrogant children who behave poorly as they haven’t been disciplined properly. I say this as someone who works with children on a daily basis.

Poor you OP, dealing with people like that sounds incredibly draining

At 5 she is old enough to know she should not draw on other people's things. Your sil and bil should 100 % replace

I one hundred percent would have replaced it.
Your sister has no right to tell you what to spend your money on.
25 and renting is not immature...
You've made different life choices! And that's fine.

This would piss me off more than the child's behaviour.

Agreed, and surely they should still pay for a replacement, regardless.

Wrap up a lump of coal and give it to her for Christmas. That's what naughty girls and boys get. If her parents complain say you returned her gift to pay for a new phone cover.

Job done.

You also won't have to worry about the replacement being ruined because your sister won't speak to you again. Bonus.

Job done.

Yes they should absolutely replace it and no way should you give the old case to the child. 5 is old enough to learn. If they aren’t replacing no Xmas present from you!
I‘m sorry your sister and BIL are incapable of decent parenting!

I agree that the phone case (minus the lip balm) is the kid’s Xmas present. They are superior, snotty a-holes and you let them walk all over you. Time to pull right back. Don’t let them in your home.

This is horrible and I'm annoyed for you! How dare they not replace and blame you.
If that I was my sister I'd be upset and angry and I would let her know it. I'd view her differently too.