To think she could have sat in a normal chair?

[Theskyitwasmaroon]

I drove to see a friend today, about 100 miles away. I took my DD who is 9 months, she eats solids now and at home sits up with us in a highchair.

We specifically got invited for lunch that my friend made.

My friend has a DD who is 3.5, they have a Tripp trapp so I didn’t take a highchair with me as I thought she could use their highchair.

However when it came to eating, my friend insisted her DD sit in the Tripp trapp? This meant my DD had to sit in her car seat on the floor. I had to then feed her lunch on my lap. Her DD asked to sit on the normal chairs and my friend insisted she must sit in the highchair (it was on the highchair setting still, the same setting we use for DD).

AIBU to think this is quite rude? It made my lunch uncomfortable as DD hates her car seat and likes to sit up. I felt a bit bad for excluding her. Surely one time sitting at a dining chair wouldn’t hurt?

If that’s the case I wouldn’t think you would want a 9 month old sitting on your lap being fed whilst at your expensive dining table?! I wouldn’t want my baby anywhere near it! She would be much better keeping her mess contained in the highchair.

Your friend is selfish and a crap host. You always make your guest comfortable before attending to yourself.

The Tripp Trapp is supposed to be usable up to 8 years
I use my Tripp Trapp at 40+! The comfiest dining chair (obviously I would give it up for a baby/toddler though).

I would never assume I'd use someone else's stuff, I just brought what I needed or did without. Yabu

I think yabu. That is probably her DCs normal chair. The settings are irrelevant. She probably doesn’t want her to get the idea that the chair is optional. Maybe she gets down or wriggles or makes a mess in a normal chair.

I would never go somewhere with a baby and assume someone else will provide whatever equipment I need. You should have asked beforehand or just taken your own.

My mind’s blown that people are sitting school aged children in high chairs! Mine were out of them by the time they turned 2 😅

When mine were that age I logged around a portable chair for her, as did all my mum friends, at 9 months you may just not have got to that yet or seen it much but it's definitely a thing. I wouldn't assume I could use someone else's highchair, there's a possibility (knowing what 3 year olds can be like) that if she let her DD sit on a normal chair this once she then be a little nightmare at every other meal time at refusing to go back on her chair

My DC isn't 3 yet, and I know exactly what they would think of any suggestion of sitting in a high chair...

Weird all round.
Weird to squish a preschooler into a baby high chair
Weird to not bring a portable high chair with you. (I just kept one in my car). It was small and just hooked on to a table.
Weird to put a baby on the floor in a car seat whilst you ate.

As many posts have said, a Tripp trap is usable as a booster seat until age 6-7

No way would mine at that age sit in a high chair. At that age a regular chair or booster but no way a high chair.

Mine couldn't reach the table at 2!

Can people genuinely eat properly with a 9 month old baby sitting on their lap? I would find it impossible to eat properly and be able to concentrate on the conversation. DD goes in a highchair or her pushchair when we are out otherwise she is taking food from my plate, trying to pull my hair, use my cutlery, wriggle off my lap etc etc

Yabu to assume you cna rock up and expect to use another child’s things.

Get one of these op. I used mine so often. Restaurants. So much better that their ones often. Friends houses.

A 6-7 year old can sit on a normal chair. And someone even said they used it for their children up to age 12!

Why didn’t you ask to use the chair?

Did you expect her to make her child sit on the floor while yours had the seat ?

Have you read the thread as I already answered that one.

We have 2 of these for our 2yo and 4yo and they are so possessive over them that all hell breaks loose if someone else sits on one. Maybe your friend wanted to avoid the inevitable meltdown if her 3yo was evicted from her chair? The 3yo probably sees it as hers - and rightly so. Honestly I would expect to be holding my baby on my lap most of the time in someone else's house at that age

No I thought she might let her DD sit at the table in a normal chair like she already was doing whilst she was colouring in

The child was having a meltdown getting in the chair as she wanted a normal one. So many posters not read the thread, I’ve replied loads!

I wouldn't think to put my 3.5 YO in a highchair now. My DD uses chairs exactly the same way we do now. She even uses our bar stools and can safely climb on and off. But I'd presume your friend just didn't think and there is a reason she asks her DC to, gets too distracted when she can get up and leave, makes too much mess. Try not to overthink it and don't let it ruin your friendship.

Can people genuinely eat properly with a 9 month old baby sitting on their lap

Well, no, but it's par for the course. I'm not saying the friend was right not to put her child on a chair, although she may well have her reasons, but I would say it was you who 'excluded' (your words) your dd by choosing the car seat on the floor so that you could eat properly.

My DS is 3.5 and massive. We still “squish” in into his Tripp trapp (he’s not at all squished) because he’s a bloody nightmare in a normal chair with legs and arms flying everywhere, standing up on the seat, turning around etc. he’s not a naughty kid, he just can’t sit still. We have asked him if he wants the high chair bits taken off and he’s said no. If we had friends over, no, my DS wouldn’t be turfed out of his seat. If I went to a friends house, I would expect to have my baby on my knee, as I usually do.