To think she could have sat in a normal chair?

[Theskyitwasmaroon]

I drove to see a friend today, about 100 miles away. I took my DD who is 9 months, she eats solids now and at home sits up with us in a highchair.

We specifically got invited for lunch that my friend made.

My friend has a DD who is 3.5, they have a Tripp trapp so I didn’t take a highchair with me as I thought she could use their highchair.

However when it came to eating, my friend insisted her DD sit in the Tripp trapp? This meant my DD had to sit in her car seat on the floor. I had to then feed her lunch on my lap. Her DD asked to sit on the normal chairs and my friend insisted she must sit in the highchair (it was on the highchair setting still, the same setting we use for DD).

AIBU to think this is quite rude? It made my lunch uncomfortable as DD hates her car seat and likes to sit up. I felt a bit bad for excluding her. Surely one time sitting at a dining chair wouldn’t hurt?

I have used the pram to contain a kid when out. It sounds like she made it ridiculously difficult just because she could. I would have just picked at the few bits of food the baby didn’t grab out my hand then gone home.

I can't imagine having gone for lunch somewhere when dc were small without checking if I needed to bring a highchair.
Mind you, I also would have mentioned to someone coming here that they needed to bring their own.

I'd find it odd to see a 3.5 year old in a highchair (I have no knowledge of that specific chair though). I'd never assume I could use another child's high chair though.

To be honest, the oddest thing to me is putting a 9 month old in a car seat while you enjoyed lunch. I've eaten plenty of meals with a baby on my knee, and taken it in turns with friends/family to eat while the other person held the baby. But I've never strapped them into their car seat.

I don’t think her DD is comfortable in it as she wanted to sit on a normal chair!

I must be unreasonable then. I just know that as a one-off I would have offered my friend the highchair and let my 3.5 year old sit on a normal one, instead of her having to hold her baby on her lap and eat one-handed or sit her on the floor.

I Used to take a clip on to the table one and then moved onto a foldable booster seat one.

I think maybe your friend sat her DD there due to height? Easier for the DD to eat when higher up to the table.

I wouldn't have assumed I could use their chair. If it's not been adapted for a older child that's odd but it's still her chair. At that age I carried a travel booster seat.

I used to have my babies on my lap eating their lunch in situations like this.

If I was going to a friend's house I would take a high chair. If I was going for a picnic I took a little picnic chair thing. If I was eating out I would hope there was a highchair. I just took the legs off and put it in my boot. Then went and got it when we were preparing to sit down and eat.

Occasionally I got it wrong and had to have them on my lap which sans tidal but also wasn't the end of the world.

A TripTrap adjusted for a 3.5 yo won't fit a 9 month old. Way too dangerous.

I would just have had the 9 month old on my lap. No problem tbh.

I'd have checked beforehand or taken my own. I've taken our IKEA high chair all over the place. My 3.5 year old still sits in a booster seat at our table and although I'd move her to be polite, I don't think there's much in it in terms of whi needs it more with a 9 month old who can be held. 3 year old would have to kneel on chair to reach the table.

I took her to a restaurant last week and she sat in a high chair pushed up to the table because the restaurant offered. I know 3.5 sounds too old but why is it really? It was the perfect height and she was comfortable whereas she'd have been kneeling up on a chair. She's slim though so no issue fitting legs in etc but very much average height.

Sounds like she just wanted her DD to 'have'
the chair

She bizarrely sounds competitive

I remember when DD was around 18 months old I asked her cousin's mother if her son wanted to share a (huge) jacket potato: she insisted, no, he needed his own

he ate around two bites of it

Total waste

Yes it's a bit odd, yes she could have sat in a normal chair but I wouldn't have assumed that your baby could use her DD's chair. It's not unusual to eat one-handed with a baby on your lap, so she maybe wouldn't expect you to be put out about that? Also babies usually play on the floor so again, she probably wouldn't expect you to be put out about that either!

Might be worth getting a travel highchair as PP have said...

Let me guess... At no point before or during the trip you asked your friend if it is ok to use the chair. You waited for her to offer and she didn't. Now you think she is rude for not reading your mind. Am I close?

I agree it’s poor manners OP. I’d have put my child on a regular chair with a cushion if needed and baby in the high chair.

Whether it's weird or not that her DD js still using it - you a. Made an assumption and didn't check then b. Didn't speak up just silently seethed ? Odd

Yes you’re right I didn’t ask as I presumed she would offer to be honest. Whilst we waited for dinner to cook her DD sat in a normal seat at the table, colouring in. So I was surprised when she then spent 10 mins or so getting her in the highchair. After all that I didn’t feel I could ask!

I wouldn’t say I ‘seethed’ but it did make me feel quite unwelcome.

In the circumstances I would have asked to use the high chair and her DD could have reasonably sat on a stand chair.

I used to have one of the booster seats that fasten to standard chairs. It went everywhere with me, MILs, friends,. pubs etc. fits in the boot and easier to have something of you need it.

Yes she plays on the floor but I wanted her to be contained whilst I ate lunch. Also my DD wanted to eat.

Mine needed boosters until 7/8 to reach the table properly. I didn't lend it to others, and I took them with me

Your friends behaviour is odd to say the least. Unless her daughter is SEN I’m very surprised either would want her in a high chair still.

But your are being U for feeding baby in car seat instead of sat up on your lap as eating in a non upright position is a massive choking hazard for that age group.

Maybe she doesn't want her dd to think that eating anywhere other than in the high chair is an option.

@coxesorangepippin that reminds me of when my now ex SIL invited us for dinner. She did turkey dinosaurs for the DC. Her DS had to have one of each shape apparently. Which means my DC ended up with 1 dino each. Her son nibbled one, threw one on the floor. She also didn't cook for us adults. We went to McDonald's on the way home!

I don't know why you didn't just keep your baby on your lap. Doing things one handed with a baby on your hip is par for the course for most parents. Including eating.

I would never think of offering a Trip Trap adjusted to a 3.5 yo to a 9 month old.
It's not a high chair then in use for a +3 yo.
I would concider it too dangerous to use it for a baby without the baby set.

I didn’t feed her in the car seat I just put her in it so I could eat, I have said this already. She’s a wriggly 9 month old who wants the food off my plate etc and not a newborn who I can easily hold when eating!