To think she could have sat in a normal chair?

[Theskyitwasmaroon]

I drove to see a friend today, about 100 miles away. I took my DD who is 9 months, she eats solids now and at home sits up with us in a highchair.

We specifically got invited for lunch that my friend made.

My friend has a DD who is 3.5, they have a Tripp trapp so I didn’t take a highchair with me as I thought she could use their highchair.

However when it came to eating, my friend insisted her DD sit in the Tripp trapp? This meant my DD had to sit in her car seat on the floor. I had to then feed her lunch on my lap. Her DD asked to sit on the normal chairs and my friend insisted she must sit in the highchair (it was on the highchair setting still, the same setting we use for DD).

AIBU to think this is quite rude? It made my lunch uncomfortable as DD hates her car seat and likes to sit up. I felt a bit bad for excluding her. Surely one time sitting at a dining chair wouldn’t hurt?

My 3 year old often sits in my dining room chair so I sit in his Tripp trap - I find it comfy. It’s suitable for all ages

I used to tie mine to a normal chair with a jumper - propped up on a cushion or folded coat and pushed in to the table. They were fine, everyone needs to relax and eat their lunch 😂

YABU to assume that you would be able to use her child's chair for yours without asking, however odd you think it if she didn't want her DC to use it for whatever reason then it wouldn't be there would it? And whatever the reason she wants to use it doesn't dissappear because you have your baby there. And for a one off lunch I wouldn't see anything odd about eating with your baby on your lap.

i can't believe this is a whole thread.

Tbh you don't need to bring a lot to lunch out with a child. It's not big business.
I have never brought a high chair for mine being out for lunch. I wouldn't had thought a minute that having your child at your lap for a lunch was a big issue.
You would see me as a rude host but maybe your friend didn't realise that you thought different. Might be better to tell her or ask for a hand with baby.

I think @samarranges response is spot on.

it’s not patronising.

your friend wasn’t rude, probably just didn’t think your child took precedence over her own.

Her highchair, not yours. Feed baby on lap.

Another post where of course the OP isn’t unreasonable but people enjoy ensuring the blame lies with them! Yes she was rude and I think thoughtless really, not to mention still treating her preschooler like a baby 🙈
I remember how difficult it was trying to feed both myself and a wriggly grabby 9 month old at the same time balanced on my knee - not enjoyable so I understand it wasn’t too comfortable!

FWIW, we had a booster seat with an inflatable cushion which you strap to a normal chair and has straps for the small child, too. I got it into my hand luggage once for a weekend away with DS when he was small. Brand name Roba. Brilliant thing.

So she went in to her car seat instead.

I'm failing to see the trauma caused.

Really.

I guess not but for a one-off lunch I wouldn’t think anything of letting my older DC just sit on a normal dining chair.

When she has brought her DD to stay as a baby I’ve let her use my older DCs bath, sleep in his travel cot, use his toys etc so she didn’t need to cart a load of stuff with her

I wouldn’t have assumed, l would have asked beforehand. Probably a days or a week before to check
But I do wonder how a 3.5 year old would fit in to be honest. I look at my 2 year old twins and doubt they will do in 18 months

No you take a portable high chair

When she has brought her DD to stay as a baby I’ve let her use my older DCs bath, sleep in his travel cot, use his toys etc so she didn’t need to cart a load of stuff with her

But surely that didn't stop your DC using those things. Unless your child usually sleeps in a travel cot?

FFS, you baby is only 9 months old. Behave yourself.

Is it really that difficult to feed your child in your lap or in the car seat? Is it is really that difficult to eat with a child on your lap?

How do/did people survive without highchairs?

@GravyBoatWars why is it an issue for a child to sit in a normal chair? Surely children should learn how to sit in chairs...?

She might not have objected if you asked yet offering didn't occur to her.

But the other thing to consider is how much of a struggle one-off exceptions can cause at that age. Being able to tell a 3 year old "at home you eat in your chair always" can save a lot of drama. The things you mention loaning all sound like spares or things your DC had grown out of.

This. Of course you accommodate.your guests.. that's just what you do..your friend is being odd..

For all the people in disbelief that a child aged 3 could fit, my 6 year old recently proved she could still fit in an IKEA high chair (got it out for a visitor) and could certainly still easily fit in those wooden ones you get in restaurants at age 5. Of course, when she was a toddler she completely refused to sit in one!

Of course they learn to sit in normal chairs. OP said the 3 year old was sitting in a normal chair to color, for example, and she likely sits in a variety of normal chairs when they're out at other places besides home.

I'm not really sure what your point is or why you tagged me specifically.

If you are invited for lunch with a little one you ask if they have a high chair or take your own (or hold them). You knew that you were going to be eating, you are an adult and you should be prepared.

I think you are being unreasonable.. I don't know why she still has the baby seat on, but we have a similar style chair and at 3 definitely still need that chair for eating (on the standard setting not with the baby seat) because the normal chairs have the child far too low from the table to eat properly. She's probably worried about safety or something. I definitely would have just held the baby, yeah it can be a bit tricky but it's just part of going out with baby. I wouldn't have put baby in the car seat personally

I would have the baby on my lap. There can be a multitude of reasons why a specific child in a specific house is asked to seat/sleep/play in a certain area. Avoiding a tantrum in a 3.5-year old in a misappropriated highchair for one. Or cleaning a mess under the table that inevitably happens when younger children sot in grown up chairs (alas, that doesn’t stop even when they are at schoo!). Tbh, I never use high chairs, even in restaurants. They usually have a full-course meal smudged all over them…

You mentioned in a post that you "always go crazy with toddlers/pre-school age in adult-sized chairs during meals..." - as I regularly have a toddler in a normal chair at meals and haven't had any issues, I was asking your opinion, as perhaps you know something I don't about why that might not be a good idea.

Because nobody.travels around with a high chair