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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she could have sat in a normal chair?

270 replies

Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 20:18

I drove to see a friend today, about 100 miles away. I took my DD who is 9 months, she eats solids now and at home sits up with us in a highchair.

We specifically got invited for lunch that my friend made.

My friend has a DD who is 3.5, they have a Tripp trapp so I didn’t take a highchair with me as I thought she could use their highchair.

However when it came to eating, my friend insisted her DD sit in the Tripp trapp? This meant my DD had to sit in her car seat on the floor. I had to then feed her lunch on my lap. Her DD asked to sit on the normal chairs and my friend insisted she must sit in the highchair (it was on the highchair setting still, the same setting we use for DD).

AIBU to think this is quite rude? It made my lunch uncomfortable as DD hates her car seat and likes to sit up. I felt a bit bad for excluding her. Surely one time sitting at a dining chair wouldn’t hurt?

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 16/12/2024 20:58

Lot of fuss about nothing

Topsyturvy78 · 16/12/2024 20:58

Too old for a high chair I had a booster seat that strapped onto a dining chair at that age.

Original poster
Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 20:58

MumChp · 16/12/2024 20:57

I would never think of offering a Trip Trap adjusted to a 3.5 yo to a 9 month old.
It's not a high chair then in use for a +3 yo.
I would concider it too dangerous to use it for a baby without the baby set.

Show quote history

She’s still using the baby seat!

OP posts:
Writerscompanion · 16/12/2024 20:59

Not sure why you're getting these responses OP. If for whatever reason she still has the baby set on the Tripp Trapp - which is strange for a 3.5 year old - then I think most people would have offered it for the 9 month old to use. This is especially true if the three year old was asking for a grown up chair, so no battle involved. It sounds like she's pressuring her daughter to stay in a chair that's too small for her for some reason, or wants her to be seen as the 'baby', which is strange. It would have been helpful to be offered the chair so I see where you're coming from.

user2848502016 · 16/12/2024 21:00

Weird yeah neither of mine were still in a high chair at 3.5

MumChp · 16/12/2024 21:00

Ghosttofu99 · 16/12/2024 20:56

Your friends behaviour is odd to say the least. Unless her daughter is SEN I’m very surprised either would want her in a high chair still.

But your are being U for feeding baby in car seat instead of sat up on your lap as eating in a non upright position is a massive choking hazard for that age group.

Trip Trap adjusts to the age of the child. If a 3.5 yo chikd uses it it's no longer a high chair but a chair adjusted for an older child.

We used Trip Trap chairs to around 12 yo with our oldst children. It's quite common.
The youngst had a Nuna chair. Nina adjusted as well to size/age around 6 yo we passed it on to a baby in the family.

Londonrach1 · 16/12/2024 21:02

They are chairs not high chairs and tbh hell to clean. Yabu To expect use of it. Why didnt you take your portable booster seat. I got one free for marketplace but have seen them for £5. Easy to carry and use.

AffableApple · 16/12/2024 21:03

Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 20:29

Do people really take a highchair with them when they go for lunch? It never crossed my mind. Presumably you don’t take the Tripp trapp when you take a 3 year old to a restaurant?

No, but you check if the restaurant has highchairs. Like you check if your friend has hers free.

MumChp · 16/12/2024 21:03

Writerscompanion · 16/12/2024 20:59

Not sure why you're getting these responses OP. If for whatever reason she still has the baby set on the Tripp Trapp - which is strange for a 3.5 year old - then I think most people would have offered it for the 9 month old to use. This is especially true if the three year old was asking for a grown up chair, so no battle involved. It sounds like she's pressuring her daughter to stay in a chair that's too small for her for some reason, or wants her to be seen as the 'baby', which is strange. It would have been helpful to be offered the chair so I see where you're coming from.

If a 3.5 yo sits on a Trip Trap it's not a high chair anymore but adjusted to the older child.

Original poster
Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:04

MumChp · 16/12/2024 21:03

If a 3.5 yo sits on a Trip Trap it's not a high chair anymore but adjusted to the older child.

Show quote history

It does still have the baby seat on it. Her 3.5 year old was squished into it.

OP posts:
Owly11 · 16/12/2024 21:05

You have no idea why your friend needed her daughter to be in the high chair and you are unreasonable to try to control it and/or criticise her. If you needed a high chair you should have checked if there was one available before setting off and if there wasn't one available bring your own or make do as best you can without.

Original poster
Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:05

I quite often have my nephew to stay with me, he is 3 and he sits on a normal dining chair. I wouldn’t put him in the baby seat of the Tripp trapp.

OP posts:
MrsSunshine2b · 16/12/2024 21:06

That's so weird. DD has been sitting in a normal seat with a booster since about 2ish and by 3.5 didn't need a booster either. It's also really selfish of her.

TheForestCalls · 16/12/2024 21:06

You assumed, you were wrong. Next time check if it will be available maybe?

Bearbookagainandagain · 16/12/2024 21:06

I just bought a new tripp trapp type chair for my daughter and they recommended the high chair with harness setting until 36 months... Which I found was hilarious 😆, but maybe she was following the chair's instructions.

Anyway, I still think slightly YABU. Even though I would have let the chair for the younger one too, she shouldn't have to change the rules for guests. You should have checked with her or bring your chair.

MumChp · 16/12/2024 21:07

Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:04

It does still have the baby seat on it. Her 3.5 year old was squished into it.

Show quote history

I wouldn't do that with a 3.5 yo but adjust the chair as it should be but tbh it's none of our business. Your child would be fine on your lap.

tealandteal · 16/12/2024 21:07

In this situation I would assume if they still have a high chair out then they are still using the high chair. I would text the friend and ask if I need to bring one. If they said yes, we have a travel high chair which is very useful for visiting people without high chairs or locations with out high chairs. We used ours a lot in the summer as you can put it on the picnic bench next to you and baby can eat with you on days out.

MrsSunshine2b · 16/12/2024 21:09

MumChp · 16/12/2024 21:00

Trip Trap adjusts to the age of the child. If a 3.5 yo chikd uses it it's no longer a high chair but a chair adjusted for an older child.

We used Trip Trap chairs to around 12 yo with our oldst children. It's quite common.
The youngst had a Nuna chair. Nina adjusted as well to size/age around 6 yo we passed it on to a baby in the family.

Edited
Show quote history

Why on earth does a 12 yo need a special (expensive) chair? Any child 4 or over can just sit in a regular dining chair...

FlickeringFairyLight · 16/12/2024 21:09

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Summerbod25 · 16/12/2024 21:11

Without knowing the full ins & outs of how your friends runs her house, you are being unreasonable for making presumptions. My dining table is vvv expensive, the fabric chairs were made to order, and whilst durable, I don’t allow my toddler to sit in them to eat her lunch.. she’s petite and still fits perfectly in her highchair, so while we’re at this young & messy stage, she eats there. My table, my chairs, my preference! We saved for a long time for the furniture and decor that we want. Is there a reason your child couldn’t sit on your lap while she ate? Surely it wouldn’t have taken her long to eat.

IlooklikeNigella · 16/12/2024 21:11

That is really weird especially as the child was sitting on a regualr seat while colouring

I had an odd experience the other way.

I have a friend who has a heart of gold but is insanely bossy by nature. She just can't help taking over everything and has been like this for the thirty years I've known her. I'm used to her but my DH isn't especially. Herself her husband and their three DC came over for Sunday lunch. Her youngest was 15 months, ours 10 months.

They all arrived in, the DC their usual balls of energy. Everyone is exchanging pleasantries, commenting the food smells good and settling in. My friend sits down, pulls the high chair over and straps her DC in telling him the food is on the way. My DH was standing next to her with our DC in his arms. His mouth literally dropped open in shock at the same time as my friend reached out her arms for a squeeze of our baby.

It was so hilarious I couldn't address it without roaring laughing and embarrassing my friend that I just served up and put my baby on my lap. None of them noticed.

Nameandgamechange123 · 16/12/2024 21:11

Yes your friend was rude. You're supposed to make your guests feel welcome.

JoyeuxNarwhal · 16/12/2024 21:12

Tbh if I was going over a mealtime id have taken a high chair for lo. We had a seat that clipped onto the edge of the table when ours were small. Took up barely any space in the car.

Coconutter24 · 16/12/2024 21:12

Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:05

I quite often have my nephew to stay with me, he is 3 and he sits on a normal dining chair. I wouldn’t put him in the baby seat of the Tripp trapp.

This is irrelevant information, your friend uses the seat for her child, it was time to eat so she uses the seat as normal.

Mumbleitsoftly · 16/12/2024 21:14

It's odd that a 3.5 actually sits in it, even if I'd tried with mine he would have flatly refused!

But even so, we had a portable high chair seat that was easy to transport and clipped onto normal chairs. I never assumed I could use someone's else high chair if they had one. I'd have checked first and taken the portable if needed.

But, if you had turned up to my house without one (even if you'd driven 1 mile!) I'd have offered mine and given the 3.5 year old a normal chair.