DH ruined my lunch.

[TwigletsAndRadishes]

AIBU? I don't know why I am asking really, I know I am not. I need to vent.

Bought two of those plastic trays of mixed salad from the self service salad bar at Morrisons. All sorts in them. A curried rice thing, a pesto pasta, grated cheese, lettuce/tomato/cucumber, coleslaw, beetroot salad, hard boiled eggs, potato salad, some sort of couscous thing. I did my best to place each different spoonful of stuff into its own corner of the tray with something else layered on top, like lettuce or tomato, or hard boiled egg, so it wouldn't be too much of a mixed up mush and it would still be possible (ish) to separate the different elements onto a plate at home. Ok, so it was never going to be easy/perfect, but not completely impossible.

DH asked if he should dish up lunch. I said yes, if you like.

I came in to find that he's tipped both trays of salad into one huge bowl and mixed the entire lot up so it looked like pigswill. WTF? Why would you even do that? It looked the scrapings off people's plates after they'd finished eating.

I was just incredulous and so exasperated. I said 'what the hell did you do that for? What on earth were you thinking? That's going to be disgusting.'

He was then furious at me for being furious at him. Apparently it was just too difficult to separate the different salads so he had 'no choice' but mix it all together and he just knew I'd moan about it, because I moan about everything. And I shouldn't have asked him to dish up (I didn't) if I don't like the way he does things and I can do everything myself in future because all I ever do is criticise and never say anything positive to anyone.

So he knew I'd moan, but he did it anyway?

He sat there pretending to enjoy his dog's dinner of coleslaw mixed with curried rice, grated cheese, pesto pasta and beetroot with soggy bits of lettuce in it and I took two mouthfuls and felt faintly sick. I don't have sensory issues, I'm not a fussy eater and I am not the type who can't have different foods touching on the plate, but even I have my limits.

I had a tin of soup instead. I am not being unreasonable am I?

Not the same thing and actually is just a really stupid comment.

I can do everything myself in future because all I ever do is criticise and never say anything positive to anyone.

Are you going to obey this?

Who the heck does that?!?!

No we hardly ever row actually. But this just really irritated me so I did bite his head off, I admit. He'd actually gone to the effort of tossing and mixing the whole lot together in a big salad bowl😂and I was just like WTF??? Why?? Four or five different types of mixed salad all in their own different flavour of mayo or dressing. Just bizarre.

I probably did go off the deep end, but he could have just said 'oops, sorry, I didn't really think that through did I? Shall I make us a sandwich?' And we could have laughed about it. Instead he got all shirty and defensive.

Maybe he was trying to make you the classic MN massive salad?

Joking aside, I'd maybe be a bit annoyed if I'd said there was a specific way I wanted it served, but I couldn't get too worked up over it. Unless I felt it was done deliberately to be annoying.

YANBU, it’s grim and I couldn’t have eaten it.

I wouldn’t leave serving that up to DH though, he wouldn’t think about presentation and while he wouldn’t mix it all up in a bowl, he would mess it up and it would irritate me so I’d do mine.

I think on balance YABU for expecting your DH to do it your way.

Oh I love a Mozzy salad and I totally agree with you op, it would look and taste disgusting mixed up like that. What on early would possess him?

My daughter does that with Chinese take-away left overs when she's ordered too much if I'm paying, even including satay sauce which makes me heave.

Reaction is both over the top…. You shouldn’t have shouted. you communicated in a poor manner… you received a poor defensive response.

Sorry, but no - I doubt there are many people in the world who mash pesto-pasta salad, curried rice, potato salad, eggs and whatever else into one vile concoction before eating. It shouldn't need specifying. That is not how normal people eat and is disgusting.

There are several people on the thread who don’t seem bothered by it, and obviously her husband is eating it that way too, so presumably he also doesn’t mind. Personally I wouldn’t put stuff in a salad bowl that I wouldn’t mix together anyway since it’s all getting eaten in the same meal. My DH is one of the weirdos that will eat leftover curry with a side of baked beans to bulk it up, so I am always quite specific with him when he offers to make me a sandwich with whatever is in the fridge.

Next ime you're at the chippy just blend his fish, chips and mushy peas altogether

Then serve it to him in a jug

Same innit?

What a dickhead.

i like it all mixed up. I'd add a big blob of mayo too.

The lack of the ability to laugh over minor things is something I notice all the time on MN, I sometimes wonder how miserable some homes are when every little thing becomes a warzone.

You are the only reasonable one in this scenario OP. When I got to how he was defending dumping it all into a single bowl, I had to laugh out loud as it is so obviously indefensible. I wouldn’t have eaten it either.

I would want to get to the bottom of why he did it.

How is it different?

Who the fuck mashes potato mayonnaise salad, curried rice salad, pasta pesto salad, eggs and various other items into one big disgusting mess? Anyone with half a brain would know that's vile.

This thread has actually given me food for thought regarding my own reactions towards my partner when he does something silly.

I was all prepared to say you overreacted…but…just no. I feel sick just thinking about that!

LTB

You’re both being weird, I wouldn’t mix it up but equally just eat it out of the tray. Pouring it out was never going to end well.

Yes quite sure. I am not a dog or a pig though. I do have some standards.

There are several people on the thread who don’t seem bothered by it
And i assume they're posting from next to their trough.

You shouldn’t have bought stuff that wasn’t intended to be eaten together if you didn’t want it to be eaten together. If you wanted it served in a very limited and specific way, do it yourself. Neither of you is wrong but you are over reacting.

I would be annoyed at the lack of any effort and especially at the "I knew you wouldn't like it" but doing it anyway. WTF.

I'm with the posters who find your inability to eat it a bit OTT. Why on earth would you get something like that to take away if you weren't prepared to eat it mixed up. It's going to be a bit no matter what you do and all it takes is the smallest mishap for it to be tipped on end for 2 seconds and it's inedible to you.

But mainly, someone who knows you don't want your food doing a particular way, doesn't have to do it, but does anyway is being a dick to you.