DH ruined my lunch.

[TwigletsAndRadishes]

AIBU? I don't know why I am asking really, I know I am not. I need to vent.

Bought two of those plastic trays of mixed salad from the self service salad bar at Morrisons. All sorts in them. A curried rice thing, a pesto pasta, grated cheese, lettuce/tomato/cucumber, coleslaw, beetroot salad, hard boiled eggs, potato salad, some sort of couscous thing. I did my best to place each different spoonful of stuff into its own corner of the tray with something else layered on top, like lettuce or tomato, or hard boiled egg, so it wouldn't be too much of a mixed up mush and it would still be possible (ish) to separate the different elements onto a plate at home. Ok, so it was never going to be easy/perfect, but not completely impossible.

DH asked if he should dish up lunch. I said yes, if you like.

I came in to find that he's tipped both trays of salad into one huge bowl and mixed the entire lot up so it looked like pigswill. WTF? Why would you even do that? It looked the scrapings off people's plates after they'd finished eating.

I was just incredulous and so exasperated. I said 'what the hell did you do that for? What on earth were you thinking? That's going to be disgusting.'

He was then furious at me for being furious at him. Apparently it was just too difficult to separate the different salads so he had 'no choice' but mix it all together and he just knew I'd moan about it, because I moan about everything. And I shouldn't have asked him to dish up (I didn't) if I don't like the way he does things and I can do everything myself in future because all I ever do is criticise and never say anything positive to anyone.

So he knew I'd moan, but he did it anyway?

He sat there pretending to enjoy his dog's dinner of coleslaw mixed with curried rice, grated cheese, pesto pasta and beetroot with soggy bits of lettuce in it and I took two mouthfuls and felt faintly sick. I don't have sensory issues, I'm not a fussy eater and I am not the type who can't have different foods touching on the plate, but even I have my limits.

I had a tin of soup instead. I am not being unreasonable am I?

BLT a sandwich also

I wouldn't be able to eat it either. I would save your portion and he can have it tomorrow!

Beacuse I honestly didn't expect him to do that, or for him to need it explaining. He knows how a salad bar works. And when he offered to do it I even said 'there are two separate cartons but it's not one each. They both have different stuff in, so just dish up a bit from each one.

Apparently that proved too difficult.

No. He'd sort of forked them into bits, which infuriated me even more.

I would have found this mildly irritating at worst, you both massively overreacted. If my DH had done this I would have taken the piss out of him roundly, and then we’d have had a good laugh about it. Do you and your DH often have big rows over minor things? How tiresome.

YANBU

I really don’t get the drama here

I’d be really annoyed too op, but then I have autism and I’m quite funny about my food at the best of times!

You just wouldn't do it though would you?

Imagine having a few bits of chinese takeaway left, chicken, beef, rice, prawns etc
Would you spoon them on the plate separately or mash them all together until they're all mush in a giant bowl and then expect someone to eat that?
It's not hard!

Surely you should not need to specify to an adult human being "please don't mix the curried rice salad, a pasta pesto salad, the potato salad and everything else into one big lump of crap"?

Next time you buy all the salads mix his up on his plate.

It is irritating, at worst. Being furious implies that you are both unpleasant.

At least, you are well-matched.

He’s an idiot. I wouldn’t want to eat that either!

If you haven't expressly told him about your system, then YABU. He can't read your mind.

"I don't have sensory issues, I'm not a fussy eater and I am not the type who can't have different foods touching on the plate"

Are you sure?

Don't know what sort of relationship you have - maybe he just needs to learn what is acceptable to you. No need to "LTB" just because of this.

No sane person would expect someone to mix a bunch of different supermarket salads up. You just wouldn’t.

Why would he need to read her mind? What he did was just, objectively, really stupid - surely?

My sister worked on the deli counter at Morrisons when she was a student. The stories she told us about the hygiene of some customers, well let’s just say mixing it together is the least of your worries OP

OP, Are you me? And your DH my DH? 😂

I prefer to plate up my own food - learnt my lesson long ago!

Common sense? Seems it's a bit lacking on this thread or you've never had something from the Morrisons salad bar you don't mix it up. It's ruddy obvious when you look at one.

Did he eat it all OP?

Not really - he clearly would’ve eaten it that way. Some people do mix the foods up. It’s daft to know you’d only eat it one certain way but then not dish up yourself or explain the vision.

This is so ridiculous it must be a bot.

People here have such low expectations.

If your DP offered to plate up a bowl of cereal, a slice of toast and some orange juice, then mashed them all together into a paste in one bowl, would you really think it was your own fault for failing to specify not to be a ginormous fuckwit?

If it was the other way round people would be berating the husband for getting his wife to dish up 🙄