Lasts too long in bed, get rid?

[jipor]

Been on a few of dates with a colleague. Not had sex yet, was internally planning on it.

When discussing sex a few days ago, he sort of pre warned me that he lasts notoriously long. Usually not far off an hour.

I know, men say this to show off. But he said it knowing that I was soon going to find out. Plus, it was prompted by me saying that sex over an hour is too long for me.

AIBU or is that a ridiculous amount of time? I don't want to be having sex for that long?! I feel like cutting it off already, before having to endure that.

I wouldn’t want the bruised bladder and UTI.

Ugh no, imagine the bruising. Get rid.

Ah I see. Like I said, I've not been on that board and have not seen that on any other thread.

War and Peace?

In my younger days I used to spend whole weekends in bed with my bf, having lots of sex (and pizza). But that wasn’t with an hour’s worth of just pumping.

I used to be plagued by cystitis in my 20s/30s (probably too much sex maybe) so this would not appeal at all.

Have only ever encountered this with a guy who turned out to be a regular coke user and it was absolutely dreadful- boring and painful. 100% would not recommend.

Nope. Would put me off.

A hard no to this from me.

I couldn’t be arsed with that. Maybe he’s trying to impress you?

🤣🤣🤣 Where on earth do you live?!

Well you certainly wouldn’t want regular sex would you? Nothing in the morning as you’d be late for work, nothing at night if you’re a bit tired. An hour every time is ridiculous and sounds sore.

Don’t normally comment on these type of posts but AMAZED at the awful comments on here.

In one thread, it’s been insinuated this guy a drug user, a sex addict, a porn addict, lying to impress, reliant on viagra and shit in bed.

If it was a woman who gave a potential partner fair warning it took her a while to orgasm would those be the responses?

Maybe the guy is a cocaine addled, porn addicted, shit in bed lying sex addict- or maybe he just has a problem? The OP doesn’t need to shag him to find out- that’s 100000% fair dos- but the attitude in this thread is just bleak.

So much comes from experience, though. My ex who was like this was a porn addict and it was a nightmare. Another brief period of dating someone else revealed a sex addiction. Uncomfortable and unpleasant. Lots of women have experienced the same, and it's an absolute chore - and I like some long shagathons. The key word being "some"!

Also, it's kind of the guy's own fault for framing it likes he's proud of it. If he'd sat down and explained he had delayed ejaculation due to antidepressants or something, I doubt the OP or responses would have been the same.

OP: Am I being unreasonable to not want to fuck a guy who needs an hour of solid banging (not including foreplay) to come every time?

90% of respondents: YANBU, sounds tedious and selfish

Properly Sexy Ladies: DO YOU LOT NOT LIKE SEX?

Every sex topic or thread has them. "Oh don't you like that aspect of sex. You must not be properly sexy like me and you'll probably get divorced or not get a man not like me who loves sexy sexing sex sex." It's like the female equivalent of Douglas Reynham in the IT Crowd.

@jipor In your first post, you said "I feel like cutting it off already......."
Cutting what off?😨
I'm really worried you're going to do something drastic......

Hardy har har. That's horrible @Cesarina

I had one like this, his quite small dick didn’t help. I used to start craving a cuppa half way through so had to ditch him after a few weeks.

Yes when you factor in foreplay but not the actual sex.

There is a clear difference between a man who can prolong intercourse by delaying his orgasm but can still climax when either partner feels satisfied and a man who requires an hour of continuous thrusting to reach orgasm. Having experienced both, I know which I prefer.

The former offers flexibility to suit the moment—sometimes a 10-minute quickie is all you want or have time for. The idea of needing to commit to several hours every time I want sex would be a major turn-off for me.

It doesnt say anywhere that he says he’s proud of it… the OP brought up the topic of sex, and he told her he needed an hour of intercourse to achieve orgasm… In the OPs telling, it comes across very neutral.

Anyone who claims to be "notorious" for anything to do with sex is a walking red flag.

A long sex session can certainly be a lot of fun but if needing to go for more than an hour was the defining characteristic of someone's game, it'd be a 'no thanks' from me.

This! Also, the pain when it really is every time! I remember having terrible UTI's with my ex, and bruising. I think a lot of that also came down to the fact I knew I'd be lying there while he hammered away for-bloody-ever, so I'd be dry as a desert. Experiencing DH, who can control it was a breath of fresh air.

Plus, a lot of these men do actually whinge if after an hour you have to stop. Then you're sore and being guilt tripped. If it is a medical condition, he needs to both be honest and seek advice from a GP; not expect her to thank him!

The amount of women I know who put up with this is unreal, and it almost always came around to excessive porn use and total death grip during wanking. No woman should have to put up with that; it's selfish and bad for our health. Mental and physical.

Not really; he said he was notorious for it, and when men say that sort of thing about sex, it usually means a stealth brag. OP does not need to risk her vaginal health for a man who can't leave off the porn and figure out what women actually like.

Again, if it's medical; he needs to be honest and visit a GP, not expect women to put up with an hour of thrusting.

You're right that "notorious" is not a good thing to be where sex is concerned, but do you really need to have such a go at him. Maybe he just takes a long time to come. You don't know that he has a medical issue or porn addiction and he told her beforehand so she could make an informed decision. I don't see what else he could have done to meet your standard.
Also, enough of this "oh ho, my sexuality's a mystery" bollocks about figuring out what women really like - just tell him. If you're at the stage of discussing his notoriously delayed nut, you can surely tell him that you like to be gone down on or whatever.

Surely it's this scenario for which the remote control clicker for the Kindle was invented?

He could have made clear that he didn't expect to need full PIV for an hour to come. He could have reassured her he didn't expect that from her, and was fine with either not finishing using her body as a tool, or asked if she might be willing to aid in other ways.

And of course she could tell him what she likes. But he should also have some bloody idea outside of maniacal thrusting for an hour. It's not the woman's job to enlighten men; the Internet exists outside of pornhub.