Page 11 | Lasts too long in bed, get rid?

jipor · 2024-12-16T12:22:13+00:00

Been on a few of dates with a colleague. Not had sex yet, was internally planning on it. When discussing sex a few days ago, he sort of pre warned me that he lasts notoriously long. Usually not far off an hour. I know, men say this to show off. But he said it knowing that I was soon going to find out. Plus, it was prompted by me saying that sex over an hour is too long for me. AIBU or is that a ridiculous amount of time? I don't want to be having sex for that long?! I feel like cutting it off already, before having to endure that.

ProfessionalPirate · 16/12/2024 19:35

Anotherparkingthread · 16/12/2024 17:16

Well we take turns with who is doing the leg work so to speak lol, I don't want mindless thrusting for two hours straight that would be shite.

No we don't necessarily need 2 hours to come, as I said we can do a quickie if time is short but generally take our time. I probably come up to 8 times, though a few occasions have been a couple more. If we do 20 minutes I maybe only come one or two sometimes 3 times. Dh can come more than once, so sometimes he orgasms then we just go on until he can come again, he doesn't lose his erection after coming. But most of the time he just controls when he orgasms, and comes once at the end, whenever that may be. He can hold off or speed things up.

For what it's worth, DH is an endurance runner so doesn't ever really get tired out. I am also extremely athletic. I don't find two hours of sex particularly taxing. When we first met and it was all much more new and exciting, we sometimes used to do all nighters and those were quite exhausting 😳 we were a few years younger then though haha.

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Fair enough. I’m more quality over quantity personally. But reading stuff like this just makes me realise how well-matched DH and I are, just as I’m sure you and your DH are.

Although I am quite jealous of the amount of free time it sounds like you both have - enough to train as an endurance runner AND what? 10-15 hours of sex a week alongside presumably work plus other interests and hobbies. I take it your children are fairly grown up? My youngest is just 2 and still doesn’t sleep so I can only dream of it.

Out of interest, did you have to train your vagina to be able to tolerate that length of PIV or do you just have a particularly robust one? I’ve had some long sessions in my time but I was always pretty sore by the end of it.

Loonaandalf · 16/12/2024 20:15

Is he circumcised ? Usually men can last longer if circumcised.

Christmaseason · 16/12/2024 20:19

8 times, is that even possible?

CruCru · 16/12/2024 21:00

FKAT · 16/12/2024 16:35

OP: Am I being unreasonable to not want to fuck a guy who needs an hour of solid banging (not including foreplay) to come every time?

90% of respondents: YANBU, sounds tedious and selfish

Properly Sexy Ladies: DO YOU LOT NOT LIKE SEX?

Every sex topic or thread has them. "Oh don't you like that aspect of sex. You must not be properly sexy like me and you'll probably get divorced or not get a man not like me who loves sexy sexing sex sex." It's like the female equivalent of Douglas Reynham in the IT Crowd.

This was really funny.

Zanatdy · 16/12/2024 21:03

Ex colleague I dated could last that long, surprisingly I did enjoy it. Sometimes it was less, sometimes longer. I suspect its because of too much porn use!!

sweetpickle2 · 16/12/2024 21:23

Wondering if all of us who slept with a colleague who could go for ages all dated the same man 😅

TriesNotToBeCynical · 16/12/2024 21:44

GiddyRobin · 16/12/2024 16:29

So much comes from experience, though. My ex who was like this was a porn addict and it was a nightmare. Another brief period of dating someone else revealed a sex addiction. Uncomfortable and unpleasant. Lots of women have experienced the same, and it's an absolute chore - and I like some long shagathons. The key word being "some"!

Also, it's kind of the guy's own fault for framing it likes he's proud of it. If he'd sat down and explained he had delayed ejaculation due to antidepressants or something, I doubt the OP or responses would have been the same.

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No one has even wondered if he has deadpan sense of humour?

GiddyRobin · 16/12/2024 22:23

TriesNotToBeCynical · 16/12/2024 21:44

No one has even wondered if he has deadpan sense of humour?

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Maybe he does! But it's not very funny without reassuring OP he's not seriously expecting an hour of PIV every time they shag. In which case, the deadpan humour isn't particularly helpful if she's now worrying about her poor vag being battered by some insatiable bloke.

BruFord · 16/12/2024 23:07

Out of interest, did you have to train your vagina to be able to tolerate that length of PIV or do you just have a particularly robust one?

@ProfessionalPirate "Train your vagina"...now that's a phrase I never thought I'd hear.

CraftyOP · 16/12/2024 23:16

Oh wow, PIV is one thing, what if he wanted oral!

LBFseBrom · 17/12/2024 05:42

He's letting you know he likes a session and is prepared to take his time. A lot of women complain about the opposite!

It doesn't mean he will always spend that long but he is prepared to.

I think I would be prepared to give it a try.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 17/12/2024 05:52

Makelikeatreeandleaf · 16/12/2024 12:39

If someone was banging away on top of me for an hour I'd die of boredom.

Totally!

swimsong · 17/12/2024 11:03

I'm really not understanding why this is ever a problem for anyone. When you're ready, roll him on his back and finish him off by hand (or use a hand/mouth combination). A couple of minutes at most and the job's done, everyone's happy.

How does this simple and obvious solution not occur to people? Is it because of ingrained notions of man/active and woman/passive? Honestly, I'm baffled.

Tetchypants · 17/12/2024 11:52

swimsong · 17/12/2024 11:03

I'm really not understanding why this is ever a problem for anyone. When you're ready, roll him on his back and finish him off by hand (or use a hand/mouth combination). A couple of minutes at most and the job's done, everyone's happy.

How does this simple and obvious solution not occur to people? Is it because of ingrained notions of man/active and woman/passive? Honestly, I'm baffled.

Great. Are you free on Friday night by any chance? I’ll send my address.

TheDearOtter · 17/12/2024 11:57

My Ex was like this - so totally not worth it, i used to get bored as he wasnt great at making me feel good eitherk just used to see-saw away and then not finish for ages. Its a drag, and not the good kind!

CruCru · 17/12/2024 13:44

swimsong · 17/12/2024 11:03

I'm really not understanding why this is ever a problem for anyone. When you're ready, roll him on his back and finish him off by hand (or use a hand/mouth combination). A couple of minutes at most and the job's done, everyone's happy.

How does this simple and obvious solution not occur to people? Is it because of ingrained notions of man/active and woman/passive? Honestly, I'm baffled.

The problem is that a man who can’t finish during sex will probably take ages to finish by hand (or hand / mouth).

GretchenWienersHair · 17/12/2024 13:52

CruCru · 17/12/2024 13:44

The problem is that a man who can’t finish during sex will probably take ages to finish by hand (or hand / mouth).

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Gosh can you imagine bouncing your arm up and down for that long. I’d have the right arm of Hercules and the left arm of a clock.

swimsong · 17/12/2024 14:17

CruCru · 17/12/2024 13:44

The problem is that a man who can’t finish during sex will probably take ages to finish by hand (or hand / mouth).

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I think that would be very rare and most likely due insensitivity because of drugs.

Once the thumb or tongue is in the right place and rubbing on the small pleasure button under the head, (uncircumcised helps obviously, otherwise lube), the vast majority of men are done in seconds rather than minutes - regardless of how long it would take through intercourse.

Even if it takes a bit longer, it's surely better than just lying there waiting for a guy to finish. I think a lot of older men have difficulty and find it embarrassing asking for something they associate with teenage sex. A lot of women don't climax from vaginal sex, why are men expected to?

GiddyRobin · 17/12/2024 14:21

swimsong · 17/12/2024 14:17

I think that would be very rare and most likely due insensitivity because of drugs.

Once the thumb or tongue is in the right place and rubbing on the small pleasure button under the head, (uncircumcised helps obviously, otherwise lube), the vast majority of men are done in seconds rather than minutes - regardless of how long it would take through intercourse.

Even if it takes a bit longer, it's surely better than just lying there waiting for a guy to finish. I think a lot of older men have difficulty and find it embarrassing asking for something they associate with teenage sex. A lot of women don't climax from vaginal sex, why are men expected to?

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Yeah, doesn't work like this though. I tried this with my ex who took hours; absolutely nothing happening. He just got annoyed I wasn't letting him "do it the way it works" - aka, PIV for hours on end. And it wasn't a skill issue on my part, believe me.

And he wasn't a druggie. Just a porn addict.

Christmaseason · 17/12/2024 15:56

The problem is that a man who can’t finish during sex will probably take ages to finish by hand (or hand / mouth).

I don’t find this, if PIV is going on a bit longer than to my liking my DH ‘and I both finish’ in other ways and it takes about a minute or so.

Frangywangywoowah · 17/12/2024 15:58

I could cope with receiving oral for a fair old time lol!

bifurCAT · 17/12/2024 16:03

From what I've seen, the male orgasm depends on three things: sensation, feelings, and adrenaline.

Sounds to me like one or all of these were missing... He either has a small penis and doesn't touch the sides, he's never been into any of these women, or sex is amazingly boring (perpetual missionary), so there's no 'buzz' for him.

workingcream · 17/12/2024 16:18

He would have to be exceptional in bed. Really exceptional. And even then , an hour - that's a long time.

Anuta77 · 17/12/2024 17:42

swimsong · 17/12/2024 11:03

I'm really not understanding why this is ever a problem for anyone. When you're ready, roll him on his back and finish him off by hand (or use a hand/mouth combination). A couple of minutes at most and the job's done, everyone's happy.

How does this simple and obvious solution not occur to people? Is it because of ingrained notions of man/active and woman/passive? Honestly, I'm baffled.

You just roll him off or you're telling him something sexy? (I need ideas)

CruCru · 17/12/2024 18:35

The problem with these threads is that you get some posters discussing how they definitely use the correct technique during sex and the problem would not be a problem because <correct technique>. It must be so demoralising to have a partner who bangs away for an hour and be told that it is probably because you aren’t doing it properly or with the correct technique.