To hate the groans and moans

[Disagreeable]

Dh is 45. I'm 37. Dh in the last 18 months is just endless noise. I'm lying in bed right now as he's just groaning to himself. Guttural groans. His sneezes are so loud they make my toddler cry or me jump out of my skin. After dinner he lies on the sofa and then sits up and let's out a series of burps, groans and clearing of his throat for what feels like a good minute or two. He eats so quickly he hiccups during the meal so loudly but keeps eating regardless

This is combined with him never leaving the house and talking to me about prices in Tesco and whether the tyres in the car are safe (he checks them before we drive anywhere), I feel like I'm living with an elderly man. Maybe that's rude about elderly men.

I think I have the ick. I mean the word ick gives me the ick.

I have asked him to stop burping at least and he said he'd stop in frotn of the kids but he hasn't. He said I'm uptight but the constant noises is really extreme. In writing this post he has grooooooannnned about 4 times.

(Yesterday evening he had some snot hanging from his nose and honestly I felt sick).

😂😂😂

No, no miracle pregnancies for my husband here. I cannot imagine the noises he would make though! He'd be setting off car alarms with his burps

(Congrats x)

Well I for one appreciate you taking him in off the streets because I definitely wouldn't have.

I pray for you that your children don't take after him.

Isn't it weird how this would repulse me in a man but when my dog groans when he lies down it's freakin adorable.

I’d have to wear noise cancelling headphones and horse blinkers

Tell him that the groaning and burping are deeply unattractive and buy him some gaviscon. Buy yourself some headphones and wear them around the house listening to music or podcasts so you can't hear him!

Can’t decide whether the OPs post is reassuring or depressing.😁My DH started doing this when he turned 60. I know where he is in the house by the huffs, puffs and groans. I’ve never heard him do it when we’re with friends, just at home- I guess because he relaxes there. I have gently teased him about it so now instead he just warns me he’ll probably be groaning because he’s planning to do some gardening/diy/whatever………..!!

Sorry but this would drive me absolutely insane. I used to work with a guy -aged 25(!) who used to always do these big self potting sighs when he was busy. It used to drive me mad. It was like he wanted everyone to show him sympathy.
If my DH started making the oof noises every time he got up or down I actually think that would sound the death knell for our sex life. Who wants to be seen as a geriatric before their time?
And the burping? Wtf? Gross

I get teased by my friends for always going for younger guys, but threads like this remind me why I avoid older men. ICK.

Haha. Yes!

Yep although if a man farted in his sleep and suddenly woke in surprise and sniffed his own bum it would just as hilarious as the dog doing it

Is it possible that he does actually have a health problem - snotting and burping and groaning and TATT. Maybe he should try cutting out dairy or take Vit D spray and vitamins supplements and an Actimel for his gut health.

The burps are unacceptable aren't they? Groans are one thing but he eats dinner, gets up from the table (while everyone else is still eating) to lie on the sofa (near table) and then will lean forward towards the floor to let out burps. He tells me he is "relaxing".

Sorry that you have to put up with this, but it made me laugh so much I started coughing. Like an old man.

Does he make the "ooooffffff" sound when he sits down too??

I could not handle that at all…sounds awful…

Ugh He sounds disgusting
I'm not sure it's an age thing, more like lack of respect for you thing.
He sounds boring too!

Just reading your post gives me the ick.
DH is 62 fit and very active and def not lazy in bed and wouldn’t think of burping , groaning and moaning.
Sounds like you need to have serious words.

“The thing is DH is in good health. He's slim and is active. But he just makes these noises....it's more weird self pity noises tha. he's in pain. He must say he's tired 10 times a day. Or he's "coming down with something". He's so lazy in bed too these days.”

Sounds like he is in poor health not good health. I think he needs some tests run at the GP. You can be slim and active and not in good health with an underlying illness.

Repulsive.

I wouldn't let a person like this into my life.
I wouldn't choose to allow a person like this into my home.
I certainly wouldn't be sharing a bed with a repulsive ignoramus as I fear it would make me the ignoramus.

My husband does this revolting throat clearing that leads to him hoiking phlegm which he spits in the toilet and every single time I hear it I actually want to kill him

Christ, he is foul. He has lost all his manners.

Why does he leave the table before everyone has finished?? Ask him not to.

Tell him not to lie on the couch after tea - that is probably making the burps worse.

Btw it's not every man. My dh is 60 and doesn't do any of that shit. Just as well. 😬

All this burping suggests he has low stomach acid and could do with some apple cider vinegar tablets before meals and solgar digestive enzyme mints afterward.

the groaning and Tesco clubcard chat suggests he’s somewhat depressed and doesn’t realise it, he thinks he complacent and relaxed, but leaving the meal table to lie on the sofa suggests he’s checking out: very low energy.