To hate the groans and moans

[Disagreeable]

Dh is 45. I'm 37. Dh in the last 18 months is just endless noise. I'm lying in bed right now as he's just groaning to himself. Guttural groans. His sneezes are so loud they make my toddler cry or me jump out of my skin. After dinner he lies on the sofa and then sits up and let's out a series of burps, groans and clearing of his throat for what feels like a good minute or two. He eats so quickly he hiccups during the meal so loudly but keeps eating regardless

This is combined with him never leaving the house and talking to me about prices in Tesco and whether the tyres in the car are safe (he checks them before we drive anywhere), I feel like I'm living with an elderly man. Maybe that's rude about elderly men.

I think I have the ick. I mean the word ick gives me the ick.

I have asked him to stop burping at least and he said he'd stop in frotn of the kids but he hasn't. He said I'm uptight but the constant noises is really extreme. In writing this post he has grooooooannnned about 4 times.

(Yesterday evening he had some snot hanging from his nose and honestly I felt sick).

I can hear my next door neighbour do this through the walls. I think he’s about 40. In the evenings he will often let out a long loud groans groaning sigh. It’s horrible but I’m always glad I don’t live with him

🤣🤣🤣

I think the poster means the try to convince themselves they don’t regret it.

I can answer that question:

1. People can change over time. They can develop poor habits from being a bit too comfortable or go from being caring to obnoxious as the feeling of security of being married kicks in and feeling the need to be polite and civilised to keep your partner attracted to you decreases, and the normally suppressed darker side of the personality seeps to the surface like magma rising up the vent of a volcano.
2. Attraction is an instinctive emotional reaction and is not based on logical choice. We do not meet someone, find out a lot about them, logically go through their personality traits and cross-check against what would make a good life partner, then on the results think 'I will decide to feel attraction/repulsion/neutrality towards them'. When we pursue romantic interaction with someone, emotion and instinct initiates the feelings of attraction (which are stimulated by certain traits depending on the person), and the logical side of the brain constructs justifications for the attraction.

There is a condition called SIBO (small intestine bacterial overgrowth) that can cause a lot of burping. There is a test for it but via a consultant not GP. Just a thought?

What an utter twat.

Cheeky sod! Mine makes the groaning noises. He even once dramatically dropped to the floor and didn’t move when I called his name. Heart was in my mouth - apparently he felt a bit queasy.

I feel I was childish but I just started to mimic him. Even down to when he would leave kitchen cupboards open. I would then go and open every. Single. One. And go and sit in front room, making all sorts of noises very loudly. Then when he was chewing with his mouth open I would do the same, but louder. Funnily enough it really started getting on his tits and he behaved immaculately for a short period - so I’d stop. Then he’d start again and the cycle repeated.

He does it much less now. He doesn’t understand how the kitchen cupboards all keep opening themselves. Or why on earth I’m making ‘ridiculous noises’. Pah!

Do it and you won’t regret it. But be really over dramatic and really enjoy yourself.

I laughed too and laughed at this.

I am 33 and similar, why do we do it? 🤣🤣

OP you need to have your own column or something. I feel for you I really do but the way you write is comedic genius.

Apologies, OP, because I can see you are really fucked off by him (and understandably so), but this thread has really made me laugh. If it was just the dramatic moans and groans, I'd tell him to get a grip, but his attitude is terrible and I'd be having serious words.

Omg I'd smother him

It sounds like he is on the spectrum.

My elderly DF is exactly like this, and he most certainly has undiagnosed Asperger's. His behaviour is quite challenging, and consists of repetitve speech, making noises and annoying habits.

It really is intolerable most of the time, and has got worse as he's got older.

He doesn't like you or respect you and the feeling is mutual. Has your marriage run its course?

😂 honestly OP I’m so so sorry you have to deal with this! I really don’t know if I could cope with that… does he have any great redeeming qualities 😬

This isn’t very helpful sorry! Just want to at least emphasise that you are NOT being unreasonable

He sounds horrendous. The groaning and burping are repellent, but he also sounds disrespectful to you, and he's clearly not pulling his weight. I would keep an eye on it and think about your next move. Not an acceptable situation for you.

Why are you having sex with this corpse like lump of flesh. Just say you've seen more life in a dead fish. It's sexual abuse to be honest to submit to this degredation.

Girl the last time I checked this thread it was a jokey one

Having read all of your posts, although not the entire thread, I genuinely feel that you are suffering

you are the provider and your man is walking around the house being useless and burping? Free yourself at once!

He likes watching tiktoks on full volume, burping loudly after meals in front of your children, walking around with a snotty nose, is a pillow princess, does not provide for you or pay your bills, does not fix the garden fence, and is otherwise useless, I don't know why you are putting up with this

If your woman is providing for you (or, in your case is the breadwinner) you at least have the decency to act useful in other ways. Women have had to do it for centuries! No woman likes cleaning like Mrs hinch 🙄, but they do it to avoid working.

If a man posted this about his wife, most of us would be secretly judging her whilst judging him for complaining

Also, he sounds secretly jealous of your high income, talking about feminism. Something tells me he is a male feminist - a lot of them are always useless

Free yourself girl, you sound better off single

I get a lot of comments but I like being a single mum - better than having a man burping in my house

seriously though, it seems you've realised you're unhappy, and I'm sorry about that x

He's honestly weaponising his incompetence in the worst way here. Awful man

😄😄 I dunno where its come from, I've literally had to catch myself incase someone hears

Unlike op's husband though I don't do any of the other stuff 😬

Op has said he doesn't act like this when out or with anyone else. Just at home.

It doesn't sound like he's on the spectrum at all. Just a rude inconsiderate twat.

Jesus im glad I'm single!!

i couldn’t put up with this. The snot thing would make me throw up 🤮 as for getting up from the dinner table whilst you all still eating and lying there burping, well that’s just dam right lazy. Does he clear away the dinner plates tidy up etc after? Or do you do that why he is burping away?
also reading your update of his treatment of you for not answering the phone, that isnt on. This thread makes me glad I am single 😂
seriously though he needs to realise how his behaviour is making you feel, as this will only go one way if he doesn’t buck his ideas up.

It seems some men deteriorate alarmingly quickly.

At least your husband doesn’t seem to have polluted the home with comfort inducing farts.

You have my sympathy, it’s truly disgusting. i am having to deal with hideous lip licking and “mouth noises” - driving me insane. Like living with an elderly lizard. 🤬

Uurgh - he sounds so gross! My DH is pretty bad (age 55) - he does the dressing gown of doom and furniture clutching when he has a cold, but mostly it's the loud sound effects that go with nose-blowing, yawning and sneezing that really drive me mad. No one needs to yell 'Ah-hoo' at a million decibels when they sneeze, or shout 'Aaaauuurh' as they yawn......

But I could not cope with the moaning and the snot, and certainly not the burping. Totally vile and unacceptable. Tell him you can never DTD with him again as he is giving you the ick...... Failing that, it really sounds like he has no respect for you - irreconcilable differences!

(Btw - DH is anal about closing doors but would never be interested in Tesco clubcard points........😂)

I'm glad I made some of you laugh. Sorry to have turned this into another miserable-my-husband-is-a-prick thread.

Shall I tell you some other gross things he does?

When he cooks a roast, as he sits down to carve the chicken, he will lean across the table and says "I love me a stuffed cavity" and winks at me. Every. Single. Time. For the last 8 years.

I've got more of this stuff. Maybe I should write a book. The 100 reasons I left my husband.