To hate the groans and moans

[Disagreeable]

Dh is 45. I'm 37. Dh in the last 18 months is just endless noise. I'm lying in bed right now as he's just groaning to himself. Guttural groans. His sneezes are so loud they make my toddler cry or me jump out of my skin. After dinner he lies on the sofa and then sits up and let's out a series of burps, groans and clearing of his throat for what feels like a good minute or two. He eats so quickly he hiccups during the meal so loudly but keeps eating regardless

This is combined with him never leaving the house and talking to me about prices in Tesco and whether the tyres in the car are safe (he checks them before we drive anywhere), I feel like I'm living with an elderly man. Maybe that's rude about elderly men.

I think I have the ick. I mean the word ick gives me the ick.

I have asked him to stop burping at least and he said he'd stop in frotn of the kids but he hasn't. He said I'm uptight but the constant noises is really extreme. In writing this post he has grooooooannnned about 4 times.

(Yesterday evening he had some snot hanging from his nose and honestly I felt sick).

I’m sorry but I’d have to say something. He’s got lazy and not putting any effort in to your relationship at all. Next time he starts if in bed, get up shouting for christs sake! put the light on and tell him straight buck up or get out!
if he’s on the sofa do the same stand up stand straight in front of him and tell to get some respect for you if not himself.
45 and acting 75 is not a good look and a certain way of losing you. Tell him he’s acting like a tramp and you find it revolting and it’s affecting your marriage.
good luck.

You could have written thise about my husband! He's 40! He knows I'm a germaphobe and intimacy will be stopped if I see anything icky, or hear anything icky. It's a slow process, but he's starting to learn.

Get rid! 🤣

Try disengaging, co parenting for a while. Be cool and efficient and businesslike. See if this prompts him to explore the reasons why and change.

he never leaves the home?

Does he work?

Wow. Has he been to the GP to make sure he doesn’t have a low grade sinus infection, or a hiatal hernia/acid reflux, or sleep apnea?

I agree.

I've read all your posts on this thread @Disagreeable and I honestly don't know why you are still with him. He doesn't work much, treats you with no respect, is a bad example to his children and doesn't seem to do anything.

LTB.

I had an ex like this many years ago. He used to performance belch and performance fart, watching me to see how much he was winding me up. Maybe he does have a condition, but there's different ways to manage certain conditions and he appears to be enjoying OP's response. horrible.

What is he for?

He treats you with disrespect and disdain
He takes the piss out of you
Is a bad influence on your kids
Barely works
Sex is crap
And he is utterly gross and disgusting.

What is the point of having him around? Your sons love him of course they do but that doesnt mean he is a good father to them.

Have you confided this to any of your friends OP? surely you have?

I have a husband who belches and farts—and hiccups too! But he is incredibly loving, generous, thoughtful and in all ways caring and giving. The problem you are having is that your H is just awful: selfish, misogynistic, lazy, proud, reactive, reactionary, a grudge holder, and deeply angry that you are worth ten of him.

Frankly I would LTB. He won’t improve and he is fucking horrendous right now. You would do better with a dog and a nanny than this waste of space man sized farting lump.

No thank you. Divorce for me. This and hygiene is an ultimate must for me! Super mega ewwwwwww

are you attracted to him physically? sexually?

It's nothing to do with being elderly 45 for goodness sake. It's to do with being plain rude and crude. Has this just started or have you just started noticing? Either way get him told! Some kind of ultimatum required don't you think?

How did things go tonight OP?

I would honestly tell him he was turning me off. Surely you don’t have sex with him?

OP, he is baiting you on a constant basis, trying to make you feel bad about yourself in an outright (call on train) and in a passive aggressive way (with the kids).

Why do you think he is doing this? Is he forcing your hand in some way?

I agree.

What if you live separately. Can he move out?

You know OP, you think your issue is bodily noises, but actually you have far bigger issues to deal with re: your husband.

He disrespects you, shouts at you, makes fun of you, belittles you, minimises your contribution.

How can you respect a man who acts like this?

He's punishing you. What for? You say "Dh in the last 18 months is just endless noise." What happened 18-24 months ago?

Well—he is very good looking, generous in bed, and passionately attracted to me even after 34 years so: yes. But I did laugh hysterically at the OP’s first post since I have had to put up with his wonky digestion first 35 years. Some of it stopped when he discovered he was gluten intolerant and stopped eating gluten.

I got the ick the other day. My grown ass man of 42 asked me to make him a sandwich and cut off the crusts. I’m sorry but for me if you’re over 5 you can eat the crusts or at least leave them on the plate if you must but asking to have them removed has made me think less of him. I’m trying to put it down to his autism but he’s only just asked me to do this so I dunno 🤷‍♀️

I’ve been reading follow up posts…way beyond health problems here or farts or belches.

Does your DH want a divorce and alimony or something? Is your DH resentful you are the breadwinner? Does he like baiting you and being emotionally cruel?

YANBU. I have the ick just from reading what you've written, let alone having to see/hear it. It would all drive me mad too!