To hate the groans and moans

[Disagreeable]

Dh is 45. I'm 37. Dh in the last 18 months is just endless noise. I'm lying in bed right now as he's just groaning to himself. Guttural groans. His sneezes are so loud they make my toddler cry or me jump out of my skin. After dinner he lies on the sofa and then sits up and let's out a series of burps, groans and clearing of his throat for what feels like a good minute or two. He eats so quickly he hiccups during the meal so loudly but keeps eating regardless

This is combined with him never leaving the house and talking to me about prices in Tesco and whether the tyres in the car are safe (he checks them before we drive anywhere), I feel like I'm living with an elderly man. Maybe that's rude about elderly men.

I think I have the ick. I mean the word ick gives me the ick.

I have asked him to stop burping at least and he said he'd stop in frotn of the kids but he hasn't. He said I'm uptight but the constant noises is really extreme. In writing this post he has grooooooannnned about 4 times.

(Yesterday evening he had some snot hanging from his nose and honestly I felt sick).

How is "slurping your coffee" comparable to letting out earth shattering burps, groans and sneezes, letting snot drip from your nose, and then acting like a child when your wife objects?

As was I @PearPartridge, as was I.

What?
Husband was an owl 🦉?
😳🤢

If I say I find it unattractive he will become v hurt and pout at me and say how mean and cold I am that I don't let him relax if his own home. He also says I'm turning into my mother.....

He sounds like he's turning into Albert Steptoe.

YUK! Why does he never leave the house?

@Disagreeable
Does your husband have any redeemable features? I cant understand why you are with him, as he is disrespectful and doesn't really like you.

Why are you the breadwinner Op, why isn't he working too?

It isn't of course. I was just considering that this stuff can creep up on you unawares.

My ex husband used to fart a lot. Loud and smelly and in public. Sometimes we would be looking at stuff in the supermarket and he would do it then walk away laughing. As he got older it became really objectionable and rude as he would do it when talking to my parents, friends etc. I would always tell him off and say how rude it was but his excuse was always ‘it’s natural’ he reckons it’s bad to hold farts in. It was disgusting. Once he held me down on sofa with the children laughing and did it in my face .

@BoldAmberDuck I can see why he is now your ex husband, that's disgusting

I agree - I know I am guilty of vexatious nose blowing and gum chewing.

Going to try and " be mindful" of such noises. I know I am groaning when getting out of the chair, fun times.

This has happened to me in every relationship I've been in, and it's signalled the end of the relationship for me, every time 😂 Honestly the feelings just get worse and worse, till you can't even bear to be in the same room as them.

You need to have an open honest conversation with him OP, time for some home truths. My partner has one of these traits and it really gives me the ick
Not nice or fair on you at all

This. Your posts have made him sound less and less attractive. What a grim specimen.

This is soo familiar. Once you have the ick it’s hard to reset. In my case we got divorced😊

I know this isn’t quite the same, but I had to leave a cafe once because a mother and son (in his thirties or thereabouts) were both smacking their lips together after each sip of their hot drinks. It was just unbearable to me, the smacking noises😂😂

😂😂😂

Yes @Cotonsugar have noticed lots of comments referring to their now ex

Omg, get rid, and quickly!

God OP I couldn't live like this he sounds absolutely vile.

There is absolutely zero reason for a grown up to make noises like this. I'm not saying I never let out the odd burp/fart, but it's certainly not a daily show or even very regular but leaving the table to lie on the sofa and let out a long loud burp whilst you're all eating. WTAF. How have you not hit the roof already? Serious disrespect for you and your children and you need to get angry & make this stop before the kids start copying. Any WTF is he lying on the sofa all the time? He's not 80 FFS so no idea why he thinks it's acceptable or why you are having to put up with it.
Make a stand and once he's aware quite how gross & disrespectful you find this, if he still carries on, this should tell you all you need to know about your relationship.

Y

Definitely not romantic and quite disgusting

OP, your post is tragicomic. I couldn't spend the rest of my life with such a pathetic character.

Start cocking your leg and farting in his direction, as regularly as you can.

See how he likes it.

My dh has a disgusting habit of picking his nose and eating it (fucking hell it made me want to 🤮 just typing that) I eventually went mad and told him how utterly vomit-inducing it is and asked him if he'd still fancy me if he saw me doing the same? I told him it made me not want to kiss him anymore. He's not done it for ages now (I'm sure he still does in private though, but as long as I don't see it I'm good) they can control these things if they want to. Your dh sounds disgusting.

Is he in good health though? I developed crohns disease in my 40s and the couple of years before I was diagnosed (try getting a doctor to take you seriously because you burp /fart too much) were not pretty.