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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

397 replies

Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 22:31

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

OP posts:
XmasAlone · 15/12/2024 22:35

And yet if you told them you going to feed your baby milk from a completely different animal, ie a cow, they'd be delighted
People are weird.

hulahula2 · 15/12/2024 22:36

I don't think it's anyone else's business how you feed your child and they certainly shouldn't be challenging or ridiculing you about it.

But I do agree. I think 6 months would be about the limit for me. You do you though and next time don't with anyone else about something that's personal to and your baby. You don't owe them answers.

Hyperquiet · 15/12/2024 22:37

I'm still bf my 14 month old. Feels natural to me. I think i will till he's 2. People are weird.

NormaNormalPants · 15/12/2024 22:38

Congrats on getting to 6 months! You’re not unreasonable at all, I also found it surprising when DD started weaning and those around me expected that to be the end of our breastfeeding journey. She’s 2 next month and still has boob in the morning and before bed. I’m currently pregnant with #2 and whilst I never planned to it’s looking likely that I’ll end up tandem feeding for a little while as I don’t want her to feel pushed out by her baby brother when he arrives. No doubt this will also attract comments, but ultimately as long as DD is healthy and happy I don’t care what others think.

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 22:38

I'm still breastfeeding my 2.8yo. Ignore them!

Didimum · 15/12/2024 22:38

If you stopped you’d only get criticism from a different set of people. Since you can’t win – women never can – just ignore and move on.

DownWhichOfLate · 15/12/2024 22:39

It’s because this country is so obsessed with boobs being for sexual reasons 🙄

Breastfeed for as long as you want to! 6 months is still so very young!

Kandyfloss10 · 15/12/2024 22:40

Just do what you want

Prodol · 15/12/2024 22:40

I breastfed my son until he was 3 years and 3 months. My daughter is now 2 years and 2 months and we’re still going strong! Ignore what anyone else says and do what is right for you and your baby.

Original poster
Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 22:40

Totally agree that it’s no one else’s business!

Great to hear of so many of you still feeding your toddlers. Health benefits aside, I’d hate to take my baby’s comfort away from her.

I wonder if people are just used to seeing younger babies being fed in public whereas toddlers are more likely to only BF in the morning and at night and therefore more likely to feed at home?

OP posts:
teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 22:41

Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 22:40

Totally agree that it’s no one else’s business!

Great to hear of so many of you still feeding your toddlers. Health benefits aside, I’d hate to take my baby’s comfort away from her.

I wonder if people are just used to seeing younger babies being fed in public whereas toddlers are more likely to only BF in the morning and at night and therefore more likely to feed at home?

I feed my toddler in public still!

motherhoodmcrollercoaster · 15/12/2024 22:41

Nobodies business however I know the majority of our NCT group stopped when our LO's got teeth 😬 😣

Mushroo · 15/12/2024 22:41

Before I had my LO I thought I’d breastfeed for 3-6 months and being completely honest, thought anything longer was a bit weird.

Shes now one and I’m not planning to stop anytime soon! It’s not weird at all and she really likes it. We just do morning and evening now and it’s just nice 🤷‍♀️

Katemax82 · 15/12/2024 22:41

Tell the tears I proudly breastfed until my son was 4

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 15/12/2024 22:41

Oh ignore them and don't let their small mindedness influence you at all. It's up to you and you alone to decide what is right for you and your baby, everyone else should keep schtum.

VictorianScreenTime · 15/12/2024 22:41

My in-laws were like this. Screw ‘em!
i fed both mine till they were around 2.

By that time it was just a morning and night cuddle feed or if they fell and hurt themselves, or were sick. They loved and so did I. Nobody else’s business but ours! DH was very supportive though. You do you!

Katemax82 · 15/12/2024 22:41

Katemax82 · 15/12/2024 22:41

Tell the tears I proudly breastfed until my son was 4

Twats

CurbsideProphet · 15/12/2024 22:41

I breastfeed my 2 year old and no one is really interested. I think it must depend on your family/ social circle.

Saying that, none of my inlaws have ever breastfed their babies and thought I was v odd for not wanting to join a gym and have "me time" ...

OhBackToTheIsland · 15/12/2024 22:42

NormaNormalPants · 15/12/2024 22:38

Congrats on getting to 6 months! You’re not unreasonable at all, I also found it surprising when DD started weaning and those around me expected that to be the end of our breastfeeding journey. She’s 2 next month and still has boob in the morning and before bed. I’m currently pregnant with #2 and whilst I never planned to it’s looking likely that I’ll end up tandem feeding for a little while as I don’t want her to feel pushed out by her baby brother when he arrives. No doubt this will also attract comments, but ultimately as long as DD is healthy and happy I don’t care what others think.

This is exactly what I did. DC1 stopped at 2 years 8 months and DC2 when they were nearly 3. I tandem fed for about 4 months. Neither of them fed in public after about as I was down to morning and evening only but I was quite open about it and never had any negative comments. Do what feels right for you and ignore everyone else. Well done on getting to 6 months!

That70sHouse · 15/12/2024 22:42

Ignore them. BF for however long you want and it’s none of anyone else’s business.

I’ve BF all three of mine and personally I start to get quite fed up of it by 18 months and by 2 it’s giving me the rage. I weaned the eldest at 20 months, the middle one at 25 months (she’s the most stubborn 😂) and my youngest I think I will try to wean in the summer when she’s about 18 months partly because it’s impossible to wean them in the winter months when they keep getting colds and bugs and all they want is milk. But that’s just my personal choice and preference. None of anyone else’s business!

Original poster
Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 22:42

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 22:41

I feed my toddler in public still!

Show quote history

Love that! I have to say I’ve never seen a toddler feeding in public. In saying that, I’ve actually only seen a handful of young babies being fed in public (or just haven’t really noticed any!)

OP posts:
wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 15/12/2024 22:42

hulahula2 · 15/12/2024 22:36

I don't think it's anyone else's business how you feed your child and they certainly shouldn't be challenging or ridiculing you about it.

But I do agree. I think 6 months would be about the limit for me. You do you though and next time don't with anyone else about something that's personal to and your baby. You don't owe them answers.

Rubbish. Plenty of mums breastfeed for much longer!

LuckyBea · 15/12/2024 22:42

There seems to be a big divide... in some circles, breastfeeding is just not done, or only for an extremely short time... and then in some social circles you'll get groups where feeding until 2 or later is much more normal.

My sisters and close family/ friends are all very pro breastfeeding. My in laws, less so (I think my MIL actually regarded it as a bit weird tbh but has become more open and accepting about it now which is nice!).

Personally, I fed to 2yo first time around, as per WHO recommendations, and will do the same on my current baby, all going to plan. I don't get why you would choose to stop EBF at less than a year tbh. No judgement to anyone who does, obviously! Just that it seems to me that it would be actively making my life harder to stop at less then 12 months and then have to transition to formula and bottles? Especially after working so hard to get BF established. You do what suits you, OP.

Sometimeswinning · 15/12/2024 22:42

You do you. God knows why people comment on it. I’d be asking them why they are so bothered what you do with your boobs!

I don’t understand it. Personally I would never choose to do it beyond a year. Mine were on bottles by the age of 6 months because I didn’t love it and it wasn’t working out. I’ve no regrets. But that’s me and my boobs!

EmmaEmEmz · 15/12/2024 22:43

I'm still breastfeeding my 5 year old. Imagine the comments about that...

We just point out that they're happy drinking cow tit milk

Ignore them, and well done getting to six months!