Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

[Jaffaroo]

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

I fed all mine till they were around 2. I never really said it to people because people think it is weird basically.

When it did come up I heard the most uneducated things from people who should know better. A colleague in my work, who is a social worker, told me long term feeding "does so much damage"

And a doctor told me that I must also give a bottle of cows milk every day to "cover all bases"

Mad stuff.

Fed mine until nearly 3 , I traveled a lot and no bottles or anything
mine just stopped feeding in the day but kept night feed and always settled so well
dont listen to outdated old fashioned nonsense
ignore

I would argue it’s more for the mothers benefit than the childs benefit past one…

It’s generational. I tried to BF for a few months but gave up in the end. The elders were all very congratulatory about it. Well done for doing 6 months and for aiming for 2 years. I really admire mothers that are able to do it. It’s funny how they find it odd to feed a human with human milk but fine to feed a human with cows’ milk!

It's very ill informed reply!

I agree with this, though I'd maybe say beyond 18 months/2.

I don't disagree that lots of kids nowadays have bad diets. But giving older kids and adults breast milk won't make their diets any better. It's beneficial for babies.

I personally was breastfed until age 3, so I don't have any issue with extended feeding, but I don't believe it has many health benefits once babies become toddlers

Also it was not at all my choice to bf until 4 years old. I wanted to stop around 1 and a half but... dc was so adamant that was not happening and we had no other way of getting said 2/3 year old off to sleep. Dc had just turned 4 when I refused to continue, plus new baby was born. At that age it was easier to communicate with dc and say no more.

Well done for getting to six months! I’m still feeding a nearly 2yo who is showing no signs of slowing down. I’ll stop when she’s ready. She’s just had a few weeks of illness of colds etc and it’s been a wonderful comforter to her and a good way of keeping her hydrated when she didn’t seem to want to drink much.

Still, according to this thread I should be teaching her about bodily privacy, and I clearly have attachment issues 😂😂😂 I love Mumsnet.

It's so odd people don't see a nutritional benefit.

Of course it is still good for them. Also a massive benefit is that breast milk contains more antibodies after 1 years, helping to support their immune system when they are at a peak age for touching everything and catching illness.

It's also very easy, which is why I did it. I had very firm boundaries around feeding at that age because I firmly believe that it has to work for both of you.

None of mine have any issues either. Neither have had antibiotics or the like. One was formula fed from 6 weeks the other breathed for 1 year. My first DC is much more able than my second so not sure what that says…

You can argue all you like but you would still be wrong.

It certainly was not for my benefit when my youngest used to wake me a couple of times a night to feed when I was back at work full-time, but I did it because my child wanted it and it wasn't forever.

Dc1 had first tooth at 11 weeks. Dc2 got 2 at once at 13 weeks. Made zero difference to feeding.

I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of a reply in future. Full term breastfeeding is an amazing gift to your child, and every child will self wean when they are ready. You are doing an amazing thing.

Mine are all teens now, but I fed the youngest 2 until 6.5 years and 7y9m. I only fed the eldest for a week then he had formula. It would be better if we could all just support other women not judge them. Some awful comments on here, but slso many fabulous ones

Grow up.

I'm not sure what it says either.

All I can share is my own experience. All of mine were equally "able" - whatever you mean by that!

It's perfectly right for us, thankyou

Breasts are for feeding a child. That's exactly what I am doing.

If I choose not to say no to her for whatever reason, she understands that.

She clearly is more mature than many on this thread.

Because she wasn't well informed!!

I breastfed my eldest until 3.5 and am still breastfeeding dc2 who is 2.5. Plan to continue until dc2 is 3.5. I've barely discussed my breastfeeding decisions with anyone else so I haven't had any negative comments, except my mum who told me that I should stop breastfeeding dc1 once she was 6m old. I'm nc with her now so she isn't giving me any more unsolicited advice 😁.

Most people I know and the places that I go are very liberal so I'd be surprised if anyone ever criticised it. All the places I go have huge signs declaring that they welcome breastfeeding. With dc1 I barely breastfed in public once she was on solids (she fed in the morning and at night, at home), but dc2 likes to latch on for comfort or before her nap so I've been breastfed her more often in public. I really like that I have that extra tool at my use to deal with toddler issues - I've never had to deal with overtired tantrums and she's been a dream to take on flights and train journeys or long shows because she has an easy source of comfort.

LOL you must be as immature as me!!!

Now now, no need to get aggressive because I disagree with you.

Why does it upset you to know I think breastfeeding past 1.5 years is primarily for the mother’s benefit and breastfeeding a baby is not the same as a toddlers….

I fed one of my kids until nearly 3. I stopped feeding in public at about 2. I would just say I will feed him as long as he and I want to. If they persist asking stupid questions turn it around, why is it a problem? Keep asking why until they leave you alone.

I think everyone has a cut off time. Those people who think it's ok to breastfeed at 5 probably don't think it's fine at 10. Everyone just has a different idea of when is too old.

My idea of too old is about 3, and my idea of very weird/gross is about 5/6. Someone else will be more like 1 and 2. For others it will be older.

I'd be interested to know if you are still nreadstfeeding at 5, what is you mental cut off? What age for still breastfeeding becomes weird to you? 7? 9? 12?

I'm also curious why we all have different ideas of when is 'too old'.

Personally I think language acquisition and memory development impact my idea of when is definitely too old, but I'm curious why other people don't think a child with good language skills and an ability to remember drinking their mother's milk is fine etc...

So you preferred to give up breastfeeding to gently teaching your child that it wasn't acceptable?

Duh again.