Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

[Jaffaroo]

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

Our DS was prem and 6 months would have seemed very early to stop given that starting weaning food wise was recommended to be age adjusted. We started weaning before he reached 6 months age adjusted - midway point, he was really quite early.

At 14 months, actual age, he wasn’t interested in breast feeding as much and we dropped it right back to 1 feed having introduced mixed feeding at 12 months actual.

So for us 14 months wasn’t a toddler because of premature birth. I do and did have the view that I could only have breast fed a toddler if they could ask in a way I found ok. Top pullling and words like ‘booobie’ definitely would have made me uncomfortable

It would considering how many women clearly want to be able to do it but feel let down due to the lack of support. Especially considering how much it is pushed during pregnancy.

Well you're completely wrong, and that is just bullshit.

I was back at work from when mine were 5, 7 and 10 months. Still continued to breastfeed mornings, evenings, overnights and weekends.

Presume you didn't breastfeed at all with that attitude?

The human race would have died out if mums had always stopped feeding when their kids got teeth or could talk...! Fair enough if it doesn't work out for an individual mum, but to say that it's weird full stop to breastfeed beyond 1 is bonkers and ignorant imo. We're literally mammals

Yes I do believe they would have been judgy if BF hadn’t worked out and I formula fed DD. Like you say, damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

I bf no 1 and no 2 til 6 months
no 3 til 2 and a half
no 4 until almost 4.

mixed thoughts from people but tbh I didn’t care. Many cultures bf later than we do.

my older two struggle with weight. I was bf til 6 months, my siblings all to over a year. I struggle either way my weight. My two who extended bf are very very slim. I do wonder if there is a correlation.

Oh and my older two got eczema and asthma. No 3 is asthmatic too though.

Ridiculous... especially scince we have come a long way.
I EBF my two until they were 3 years and 2 years.. this was 80s and 90s.. where l was asked to go feed them in the toilets in McDonald's and cafes etc.
Got tutted at on busses and trains and the park.
( l never went into those toilets.. .. l asked the managers if they would eat their meals in the toilets.. because my baby certainly wasn't). I worked volunteering for breast feeding clubs... .

Never. That’s part of being professional. Personal views just don’t come into it at all. It would also be extremely rare for me to encounter somebody breastfeeding a toddler at work.

It's definitely not considered normal in the UK, but the UK aren't necessarily right on everything ;) my longest feeding child fed till just before she turned 4. In the UK people were horrified (mainly my family, who we stay with), where we live in Africa it is more normal (Lots of kids in our area go to work/ out to the field with their mums, and milk is a very good way to keep feeding the kids as it's so portable and affordable!), so here you just kinda keep going till the milk dries up or until the next baby comes along. Obvs not everyone, but it's common.

There's an interesting blog post I read once, called something like "breastfeeding in the land of Genghis Khan". It's worth a read if you're interested in seeing how it's celebrated in other cultures :)

It’s because they should be eating a balanced diet at that age and don’t need the nutrients from breast milk so there debate or breast is best at 2.5 is moot so no wonder it doesn’t sit right. I feel the same.

I’m still BFing my 3yo, but rarely when we’re out, as she forgets about it while she’s busy. The odd time I have fed her at a toddler group, I usually get another mum coming over to say how nice it is to see an older child BFing, as they do too, but you just don’t see it! I wonder if it is more common than people like to admit.
The most judgmental people I have come across unfortunately have been healthcare professionals, mainly doctors, who seem to think that any medical condition I might have would be solved by me stopping my DD breastfeeding ☹️

Or nursing is both a comfort and feeding technique for a young child with many benefits.

I was breastfeeding my two year old in the park to comfort him after he’d fallen over once and another mum came up to me and starting chatting and asked if I was English (she wasn’t) and was surprised when I said I was as she said that you don’t normally see English women feeding toddlers. It did bring it home to me that there’s a lot of the world where it’s completely normal to extended feed.

Well you can see from this thread how judged women feel for doing it.

Which is ironic when so many mums feel judged for not doing it in the first place.

Why can't everyone just eff off and mind their own???

My mum was a bit iffy when I bf my eldest. She had never done it - it was actively discouraged when she had her 4 children but she said she would have liked to try it. She was given tablets to suppress her milk supply!!!!

She was very supportive when she saw how well it worked! I don't know nor care what MIL thought!

Well, I think its fantastic that they still get nutrients from breast milk.

I'm still going at 14 months and plan on going as long as DD wants to continue. Have had some pretty snarky comments from health care professionals (yes, really) and family/friends but I couldn't care less, it's perfectly natural and should be the norm (as it is in many other countries around the world).

I know someone who proudly breastfed until her child was 4 and about to start kinder! Not for me, but to each her own. Your child will guide you when he or she is ready to stop. Just be prepared for the judgement.

It’s interesting to read your view point. I wonder what changes when a baby turns 1 for you to feel that way? May I ask if you’ve ever BF? The reason I ask is that before I had DD I maybe wouldn’t have had as positive an attitude towards BF toddlers (thinking it, not saying it). But now I don’t even think twice about doing BF. If she’s hungry, tired, upset it’s my way of comforting her and I see it no different to popping a dummy in her mouth for example, which plenty people do for 1 year olds and beyond!

Duh?? 😂😂😂 I’m surprised you’re old enough to breastfeed with that reply.

I would love to know how you teach a 5 month old not to bite though. Maybe you could help some of those in that position? Maybe you could help those with toddlers as well? I’ve read many threads where they bite at nursery.

Yep. It happens no matter what you do.

I formula feed from birth and definitely get judged because of that.

As they do from a varied diet. As a newborn they can’t eat, chew etc so can’t get the nutrients from food to sate the obvious, but at 2 they can.

They can have best of both worlds.

I remember feeding my (big) 18mo by the side of a swimming pool. Another mum swam over and said thank you for setting a positive example for other mums who want to feel comfortable to breastfeed for longer.
i hadn't even given it any thought until she approached me.

What an absolute load of bollocks.

I'm breastfeeding a five year old. No attachment issues or trying to assert anything. Just a little girl who still loves a bit of comfort before bed or when she's poorly.

She has no issues when I'm away for a night or two. Happy to go to her other parent, grandparents etc.