Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

[Jaffaroo]

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

It's not unreasonable to feed until you decide, but it is unreasonable to use this god awful phrase 🙄

BF DS well past 3yo.

People are strange.

I didn't get many people commenting tbh because we didn't really feed outside of the home, his choice, because when we were out and about he wanted to experience new things I guess, but I'd never have refused him if he did want a feed out of the house.

But when people did comment I would remind them that they are, in fact, talking to me about my breasts, and that is what is weird. I'd do it with a smile on my face.

Don't let other people take these precious moments away from you.

There is a huge amount of breastfeeding support in my area. I’m not sure what more there could be.

How many adults on this thread saying breastfeeding toddlers is weird still drink cow breastmilk?

What a sad reflection on our society, it's perfectly fine for adults to drink breastmilk designed for another baby animal but not OK for a human child to have human milk.

I breastfed my second child until 3.5 and I am currently still feeding my 14 month old. My first child was formula fed. I don't care about the opinions of narrow minded people and I have had comments about both methods of feeding, but I find it's more acceptable to make derogatory comments about breastfeeding mothers, as demonstrated on this thread. A poster saying mums who formula feed must have attachment issues would never be allowed.

I personally stopped a few weeks before age 3 with my longest breastfed child, by choice. I had to stop a lot sooner with my older child for medical reasons.
I decided I wanted to stop because I was finding it physically uncomfortable due to a health condition, because DC was so heavy sitting on my knee mainly. I think emotionally I’d have wanted to stop at maybe 4 otherwise. I personally would worry, like a PP, that children at school would comment that they were a baby if they found out they were still breastfeeding.
I suspect the case you encountered must be extremely rare. I do think 11 is too old. I think when milk are being replaced at 6/7 it would be sensible to stop. I would never tell anyone when I felt they should stop though, unless I’d been specifically asked my opinion by a friend or family member for example.

My twin toddlers haven't had the memo about not feeding in public. I get mixed reactions. There's some loss of dignity, and less coverage when tandem feeding toddlers! I still kick myself for not confronting two horrible mothers I knew were talking about me at a "breast-feeding supportive" stay-and-play, when they were 18 months old. Yabbering about how I had it "all out" and "no shame". (I sat as discreetly as I could, outside the circle, on the floor, in a corner, wearing a nursing vest I pulled down, and a loose top I pulled up. Not sure how less obtrusive I could have been.) I don't care any more, and recently they decided at a class we go to that they were overwhelmed and tired and wanted mummy. (Well one did, so the other did too, as is the way of twins.) In the end we ended up unexpectedly in the middle of a circle of mums and toddlers who were marching, singing The Grand Old Duke of York. Disgust on some mum faces, support on a few, but mostly tears of laughter. Lots of comments of support afterwards, and sadly some saying they wished they'd carried on but had no support.

I feed my 5 year old, just a couple of minutes before bed and if she's poorly or upset. The teacher has told me thay she's very open about the fact she has boobie milk before bed with both the staff and her friends, and never had any issues. Children are much more kinder and accepting than adults. She will pretend to bf the babies in the role play area and talked to the other children about it. If anything, it's a great way to destigmatise something totally natural.

Well, yes. Is there something wrong with that? I was always glad to know when my children were poorly that, if they could eat nothing else, they would get some nutrition whilst comfort feeding from me.

Serious question, would you include cows milk in that ideal balanced diet? And if so why not human milk?

But they don't stand there breastfeeding in their school uniform.

The once I've fed my child in public since shes been in school she snuggled up in my lap and discreetly did it. Unless you were staring at us, you wouldn't have even realised she was doing anything other than having a cuddle.

This is proof that you really have no idea...

The posters assuming it's the mothers choosing to prolong breastfeeding are amusing me a little. Maybe some do, but certainly wasn't the case for me. I was ready for it to end when he was about 1. He wasn't, so we continued. I felt a lot of guilt for wanting it to end too. The later stages (the past 2 years) were to help him with sleep) he'd wake up at night (never took to a dummy) and wanted just that 5 minute suckle. He also had longer naps if I fed him back to sleep - this one is a positive for both of us I guess!

Still breastfeeding my 17month old 14 weeks pregnant too plan to carry on as much as 17 month old wants it ! Stuff what others think

Well you’re wrong! The American Academy of Paediatrics recommends extended breastfeeding for loads of reasons other than nutrition. I’m sure WHO bases their recommendations on the same considerations.

@HomeAgainPlease With due respect, the American Academy of Paediatrics also has to factor in many areas in the USA that the rest of us would struggle to accept as first world. Appalachian Mountain Dew mouth etc. As with everywhere, and including UK, all First World countries are diverse and all these bodies need to factor in the lowest denominator in regards to recommendations. It’s definitely in some children’s best interest to never stop breastfeeding frankly.

Breastmilk doesn’t stop being nutritious at the age of 6m or a year or 2 years. It’s never not got antibodies in, it’s an always adjusting thing it’s incredible really. Breastmilk alone can provide a big chunk of babies nutrition post 1, it shouldn’t be all they consume hence weaning but let’s not pretend it’s just water beyond a certain age.

I had an awful time with breastfeeding and would have loved to feed longer. It’s no one else’s business how long you feed for OP.

You said that people in your circle did.

Have you actually ever seen that happen?

I haven't.

I breastfed one of my children until they were 3.5.
It really has nothing to do with anyone else, your body, your child, your decisions

the Uk has some of the lowest BF rates in the WORLD. We have a disgraceful attitude to breastfeeding - including the wierd myth that 'breast gestapo' people are in control - in fact it's completely the opposite. There is zero support for BF, our culture doesn't support it (really mums need proper support and bedrest so they can focus on establishing feeding in the early days)

So - most people don't make it to 6 months - which is in some ways a shame because that's when it is easy

The early days are hideous (well they were for me) but - BF alongside weaning etc is easiest of all, no stress, no bottles, no prep.

It explains a lot.

Even supposedly trained and experienced professionals haven't got a clue. Was certainly the case with my GP!

I think you’re confused and I can’t be bothered to correct you

People are so rude, it’s none of their business. I fed DS till he was 2 but it tended to be evening, morning (and all through the bloody night!) so nobody really saw and they didn’t particularly ask me about it. Nothing weird about it at all.

I think you're the one who's confused!!

I wouldn’t give a fuck if you breastfed your cat.

I’m in my 40s and still amazed at how people give a shit about what others do.