Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

[Jaffaroo]

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

You just do what's right for you and your baby op. I'm just now in the process of weaning my 2 Yr old. I think more people than you realise bf toddlers but it tends to be less obvious, ds had been down to morning and night feeds for quite some time before he turned 2 so I never really had need to feed in public and people commented on it less because it was less obvious that I was still nursing. Many, many women in my bf group were feeding to 2 and beyond and there is evidence to suggest that the benefits of bf especially for the mother are directly correlated to the length of time the child is nursed for. I would just grey rock those types of conversations and don't engage and let it wash over you. They aren't parenting your child and therefore they are not the best placed person to decide what's right for your child, that person is you.

He's a proper boobie monster! I don't care what anyone thinks. 😊

Nope, you just teach them not to bite!! Mine got teeth from 5 months and I wasn't stopping then!!

I think it’s because generally, the breastfeeding rates show that even the majority of babies end up on formula eventually so breastfeeding is associated with something babies do, not toddlers.

No nope about it. If a woman decides that’s her cut off then that’s her cutoff.

5 would be nice to see breastfeeding rates go up. But there needs to be more support.

It* not 5

Totally agree with this, it would be so much faff to move on to formula in my opinion.

interestingly the family members who made the comments all BF their babies until they were 6 months on the dot and not a second longer!

I BF my two until 3. Like you say, they need it less as they age so you see it less in public. I know lots of people that fed to similar ages, unfortunately many feel too judged by people that stopped earlier/FF to discuss it. Which is a shame given that it is what we are biologically designed to do.

Toddlers don’t need breast milk as they get all the nutrients from the food they eat. I would say breastfeeding for the first year is fine and possibly a bit longer, but I think more often than not, it’s the mother that doesn’t want it to end for emotional reasons in the guise of ‘breast is best’, aye but there becomes a point when that’s moot.

My son certainly doesn't have it less 😅

Nothing wrong with breastfeeding over 1

I would never comment to anybody, I fully understand the reasons, evidence and so on. I’ve attended extensive breastfeeding training sessions for my job (nhs) and actively promote breastfeeding BUT personally, it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I’ve been around friends breastfeeding toddlers and I know it’s my problem, and again, I’d never comment, but I do find it weird when they can talk and ask for it etc. I fully understand why people do it and I know it’s recommended but I just can’t shake that feeling. It just seems so unnecessary and it makes me feel uncomfortable. But it’s not me doing it so none of my business.

@Jaffaroo just be really vague with them - nobody's business but yours. And educate your DH!!

I weaned my first two at a year for various reasons - I still wish I'd had the courage of my convictions and carried on! Even my fecking GP said to me, with the second, "don't you think you've done it long enough?"!!!!

3rd got to self-wean at nearly 2. Sometimes wonder how long the other two would have carried on, and if I shortchanged them!

They're in their 20s now lol!

And they do get nutrients past 1

I know several mums who have breastfed toddlers, and I bf my dd until she was over 2.5yo. Currently bf my 1yo ds.

I often used to feed my 2yo at the soft play for example and no one bat an eyelid.

I do think some social demographics are more likely to bf until 2yo. Maybe mums from more affluent families who obsess a bit more about giving their child the best start in life, send them to prep schools etc? Only have organic chocolate, that kind of thing. That fits the friends I know.

In my case, I just found it easy (after a learning curve first few months) and convenient and helped them sleep, and it didn't feel right to wean them as babies.

Honestly I was annoyed by them before you even got to the crux of the story. Sure, it’s great that they supported you in your decision to BF but even with that I feel like their opinions on how you chose to feed your baby were already too prevalent. What if you’d chosen to FF? Would you have been getting their negativity on that too? Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, when all that really matters is that the baby thrives.

And if a woman doesn't want it to be her cutoff, then she teaches them not to bite, duh.

Getting teeth absolutely does not mean you have to stop breastfeeding!!

Your user name is wrong.

I assume women who breastfeed children over one have attachment issues or are trying to assert exclusivity Vs other caregivers

I wouldn't say it I'd just think it

I really hope none of your patients pick up on your issues.

As I said, a bit over one fair enough but a 2.5 year old with a healthy diet doesn’t need the nutritional value as they receive thy from their diet

Isn't it weird to have a 'date' cutoff? Like you were ok with it up until 6 months and then you "couldn't bring yourself to" the next day after they turned 6 months?

I found just carrying on was the most natural thing in the world.

I BF mine to 3.5 years without any negative comments, although I doubt many people realised. They don't need to feed as often as they get older and established on meals so there was no need to BF outside the house, so it just wasn't as visible? DD BF twice a day from nine months and once a day from about 18mo. A lot of my friends BF a similar length of time but at home
as wasn't necessary when out. I only know because we talked about it!

I have experienced awful formula shaming though, DD was combi/fed for first year and wow, the negativity around using formula was something else!

What a ridiculous thing to say.