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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Attitudes towards breastfeeding a toddler

397 replies

Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 22:31

My baby is 6 months old and is exclusively breastfed. She was premature and it was quite a struggle to establish feeding but we got there in the end. I’ve had so many positive comments regarding breastfeeding my baby and my husbands family especially have been very supportive of this.

Yesterday, we were at a family party with my husbands family and I had a few people ask when I was planning on stopping, which surprised me. They said that my baby is too grown up now to be breastfeeding. Later on, an aunt asked me how long I planned on breastfeeding for. I said that I have no plans and will take it as it comes and said that the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding for up to 2 years and beyond.

This was met with gasps of horror, laughs and shocked comments from some family members. Even my husband chimed in ‘you can’t breastfeed a 2 year old, that’s just weird’ which really surprised me! His aunts all joined in, echoing how ridiculous it would be to breastfeed a 2 year old.

I find it interesting that breastfeeding is celebrated until they deem the baby is getting too big or too old for it.

AIBU to be quite shocked at the change in attitude towards breastfeeding all of a sudden now that my baby is a bit older?

OP posts:
Endofyear · 15/12/2024 23:08

I fed mine til 18/19 months and really only stopped because they did. My middle son was a big baby/toddler and I definitely got some funny looks and the odd comment from extended family about how long I was going to breastfeed them for. I just said I don't know, they'll stop when they're ready (and they did) You just have to develop a thick skin - they're opinions are of absolutely no importance so just let it go and do what feels right for you and your baby.

Original poster
Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 23:08

cherish123 · 15/12/2024 23:03

I breast-fed for 2.5yrs but I would say, it's nit that common. I also think after 1, you need to keep this to the house. After 6 months, you don't need to feed for hunger, it's only fir nutrition so you don't need to do it in public.

Why do you feel that it should be kept to the house? Also, my baby has fed every single hour round the clock today. She must be going through a growth spurt. It would be impossible not to feed her in public. What do you mean you don’t need to feed for hunger?

OP posts:
wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 15/12/2024 23:08

Sometimeswinning · 15/12/2024 23:07

Hopefully someone can find something useful from your comment. (I couldn’t have flicked my babies so it wouldn’t have worked for me.)

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Of course you could!! You do it gently!!!

You literally tap your finger on their nose!!!!!

Printedword · 15/12/2024 23:09

Sometimeswinning · 15/12/2024 23:07

Hopefully someone can find something useful from your comment. (I couldn’t have flicked my babies so it wouldn’t have worked for me.)

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That’s not a nice reply

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 23:09

Sometimeswinning · 15/12/2024 23:07

Hopefully someone can find something useful from your comment. (I couldn’t have flicked my babies so it wouldn’t have worked for me.)

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It was ever so gentle. And I only had to do it twice

LetsNCagain · 15/12/2024 23:09

Of course 6 month old babies feed for hunger. My kids were eating mere teaspoonfuls of solid food by that age.

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 15/12/2024 23:09

Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 23:08

Why do you feel that it should be kept to the house? Also, my baby has fed every single hour round the clock today. She must be going through a growth spurt. It would be impossible not to feed her in public. What do you mean you don’t need to feed for hunger?

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Actually it is possible not to feed in public - I managed it with three children, because I wasn't brave enough to feed them in front of strangers.

Plus I was never good at getting the boob out discreetly. It was just easier to do it away from the public eye!

YIP · 15/12/2024 23:10

LetsNCagain · 15/12/2024 22:55

The human race would have died out if mums had always stopped feeding when their kids got teeth or could talk...! Fair enough if it doesn't work out for an individual mum, but to say that it's weird full stop to breastfeed beyond 1 is bonkers and ignorant imo. We're literally mammals

There wasn’t an abundance of food back in the dark ages, such as there is now. There was no alternative back then where now there absolutely is. That’s why posters are sayings it’s more of a lifestyle choice rather than a necessity to BF a toddler.

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 23:10

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 15/12/2024 23:07

I agree and I am just sorry I never had the balls to feed in public at any age. Instead I skulked in the back of my car, or in the Mothercare feeding room if not at home.

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You don't need to be sorry. I'm sorry you felt that you had to. You did an amazing job tho x

Scirocco · 15/12/2024 23:11

Still BF at 2 and three-quarters here (and yes, DC can ask for it in full sentences, saying please and thank you, and accept being told "no" or "later"). The immune system boosts were one reason I wanted to try for the 2 years plus, and while anecdotal of course, DC is the least likely of their extended family group of similarly aged children to catch or be badly affected by anything, and is the only one BF. I think DC has pretty secure attachments with me, their dad, grandparents, nursery teachers, extended family/friends, so I don't think it's traumatising them. A couple of their friends also still BF, which probably makes it easier for me as I have that peer support. Relatives think I'm a weird hippie type for doing it though.

EmmaEmEmz · 15/12/2024 23:12

cherish123 · 15/12/2024 23:03

I breast-fed for 2.5yrs but I would say, it's nit that common. I also think after 1, you need to keep this to the house. After 6 months, you don't need to feed for hunger, it's only fir nutrition so you don't need to do it in public.

It's also for comfort, and you can damn well be sure if my child needed comforting I'd feed her in public

MinSpy · 15/12/2024 23:12

I breast fed both my DC til about a year. At that point I just felt it was time to stop. They were both eating 3 solid meals a day by then, and they seemed to be ready to stop.

I do think it's weird to be breastfeeding beyond the age of 2. I don't know why. It just makes me cringe to see a child of 2 or 3 run up to mum and ask for booby. Makes me feel a bit ill. But I do understand thats a me problem and it's probably natural.

I have known two mums to be breastfeeding their 5 year olds, and that is way too weird for me. Yuck! But each to their own!

Faeriewell · 15/12/2024 23:14

I breastfed one of mine until they were 4 years old and I was pregnant again during that time. So they can fuck themselves. How many breastfeeding adults do they know? 🤷‍♀️ Zero? Because they'll stop before too long. It's OK for others to mind their own boobs and business.

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 23:14

YIP · 15/12/2024 23:10

There wasn’t an abundance of food back in the dark ages, such as there is now. There was no alternative back then where now there absolutely is. That’s why posters are sayings it’s more of a lifestyle choice rather than a necessity to BF a toddler.

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Lifestyle choice? More bollocks

LucyLocketLovesPollyPocket · 15/12/2024 23:14

MsCactus · 15/12/2024 23:05

As far as I'm aware, breastfeeding doesn't have much benefit once babies are on solids and eating a varied diet. The WHO recommendation for two years is mainly based on developing countries where they worry young kids aren't getting good nutrition through their solid foods.

Have you seen the shit kids are fed these days. The rise in stomach cancer in the younger years due to UPF? I'm gonna guarantee most kids are not getting their full vitamins worth out of their foods. Especially as a picky as fuck toddler/pre schooler.

Bf will always have benefits, it's the most easily digested nutrition for a reason. It's literally fucking made for them, breast milk can and will change to adapt to what the child needs.

YIP · 15/12/2024 23:15

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 22:57

Well, I think its fantastic that they still get nutrients from breast milk.

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Well that’s great - but the point is, they don’t need to breastfeed at 2 to get those nutrients, in the way they did at 5 months…

MinSpy · 15/12/2024 23:15

Jaffaroo · 15/12/2024 23:08

Why do you feel that it should be kept to the house? Also, my baby has fed every single hour round the clock today. She must be going through a growth spurt. It would be impossible not to feed her in public. What do you mean you don’t need to feed for hunger?

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But your baby is still very much a baby. A 6 month old cannot run around etc..

If your baby is 6 months and feeding every hour they are probably ready for some good, healthy, full solid meals.

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 23:16

YIP · 15/12/2024 23:15

Well that’s great - but the point is, they don’t need to breastfeed at 2 to get those nutrients, in the way they did at 5 months…

Edited
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Well its not your business what other mothers do

Zooeyzebra · 15/12/2024 23:16

6months is very young esp for a prem. My first self weaned around 1 and my second I had to to wean at 2 as I needed to move onto medication for a chronic condition that was not suitable for breastfeeding. Both he and I would have happily continued until around 3 I guess. But I never had any comments.

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 23:17

MinSpy · 15/12/2024 23:15

But your baby is still very much a baby. A 6 month old cannot run around etc..

If your baby is 6 months and feeding every hour they are probably ready for some good, healthy, full solid meals.

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Babies don't eat much food when they start on solids

HealthRobinsonCrusoe · 15/12/2024 23:17

EmmaEmEmz · 15/12/2024 23:00

What an absolute load of bollocks.

I'm breastfeeding a five year old. No attachment issues or trying to assert anything. Just a little girl who still loves a bit of comfort before bed or when she's poorly.

She has no issues when I'm away for a night or two. Happy to go to her other parent, grandparents etc.

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Yeah that's not right. By that age a child should understand about bodily privacy.

MinSpy · 15/12/2024 23:18

teatoast8 · 15/12/2024 23:17

Babies don't eat much food when they start on solids

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Both mine ate quite a lot at 6 months! I guess all babies are different :)

underhedges · 15/12/2024 23:18

BF both of mine. I stopped my first as she turned 2. I was 6 months pregnant and it was very painful to feed with the hormones. She also naturally weaned herself. Second is 2 and still keen to feed. I still feed in public occasionally if he wants it too. No one has made a comment.

LucyLocketLovesPollyPocket · 15/12/2024 23:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original.

florasl · 15/12/2024 23:19

It’s so odd that people think that there is no nutritional benefit of breastfeeding past one, I’d imagine those same people see benefits in the nutrients found in dairy products? DD2 is still very much interested, I am slowly weaning using the ‘don’t offer, don’t refuse’ method but she still asks.