What was your position on Amber Heard & Johnny Depp

[Hugge]

I wonder if your feelings have changed since the trial?

I always viewed their situation as mutually toxic - they both abused and were abused. I honestly hated seeing people seemingly enjoying the tearing down and gaslighting of Amber. I think Amber did herself no favours. She’s clearly a narcissist and it was obvious when she was recounting her experiences. Very dramatic and forced. But I still believe she was hurt by Depp.

Johnny Depp has garnered so much good will for just being Johnny Depp. Not to mention the Children’s hospital visits. But multiple things can be true at once. He can be charitable with his time whilst also being an abuser.

Depp may never have hit Kate Moss. But that has no bearing on his relationship with Heard. In some relationships fighting is almost like foreplay. The emotion, passion etc can be addictive. It probably excited them both to fight and make up.

It is accepted Johnny Depp was addicted to both drugs and alcohol. In my experience, alcoholic men can be absolute monsters. I had an abusive father and the anger just came to the fore as soon as he drank.

Amber is back in the news and I just feel very sorry for her. I’m sure she played her part but I’m sure she was also hurt. Just chewed up and spat out.

She didn't write that for people to enjoy. Sick that you enjoyed watching abuse victims suffer.

Glad you support giving abusers power and think abuse victims suffering is entertaining and funny.

Abhorrent.

I agree they had a very toxic relationship. Both abused drugs and alcohol. Amber Heard apparently researched his likes and dislikes before working with him on the Rum Diary and brushed up her knowledge of the kinds of art/poetry/literature or whatever he was into to help foster a relationship. I think she did see him as a stepping stone in her career -he did assist her in securing auditions she probably wouldn’t have been considered for had she not been involved with him. He was vain enough to think an exceptionally beautiful woman 20 years his junior wanted him for himself only, and was dumb enough to believe she shared his interests.

What discredited Amber entirely for me was the difference in her demeanour during the divorce deposition recordings and her court testimony. She came across as totally unconvincing in court. Also the constant illicit recordings - she had a lot of footage, most of which didn’t support her statements. I don’t understand why someone apparently in fear for their safety was so intent on gathering recordings that mostly showed him to be out of his head/passed out or damaging household property on one of them. Surely if he was assaulting her some if it at least would show on the recordings? She also appeared to lie in court - no-one believes she was uninvolved in alerting the press to her departure from court with the alleged cheek bruise after getting a restraining order. She definitely flat out lied in court about the donation to the charities, and only backtracked when she had absolutely no wiggle room.

I do think the character witnesses on both sides were relevant in the outcome, it made her appear spiteful, greedy and arrogant, exactly in keeping with her behaviour in the divorce deposition. Depp is apparently Mr Friendly to all - in spite of those horrendous texts he sent(!). I’m not saying either was accurate but it must’ve swayed the jury. His legal team did an outstanding job. Hers was outclassed entirely but AH was a very unsympathetic witness.

I’m really uncomfortable with accusations of abuse being made in the media or on social media (even if they are veiled, implied ones like this started out) when there’s been no criminal enquiry. There was definitely a torrent of these SM accusations at this time due to Me Too and loads of them ended up proved in court, but I don’t think the public accusations are the right way to go about it. If someone is in the public eye and police won’t pick it up then investigative journalists will often take it on, finding other victims etc and ultimately force a criminal enquiry - why not approach them instead of tweeting it?

I genuinely don’t think either of them thought the story would run and run the way it did, but once it had legs both clearly felt they had to stick to their guns.

It’s appalling the way she’s been mauled and mocked by trolls, and the threats are disgusting.

I am aware I am biased because I have been entertained by Depps acting roles and by him being himself at times...

I should think they're both fucking awful to live with, horrible substance abuse issues and the behaviour that comes with that.

I don't doubt that either could be pretty easily provoked into a violent response, though I actually don't buy that he hit her, actually I think the fact he did not batter her senseless actually infuriated her as she really wanted to be able to play the downtrodden victim... as evidenced by the myriad lies she told, and was caught out in.

They should have walked away from each other, but she wasn't willing to let that happen... she tried to destroy him, and failed.

Really, the classic 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes' outcome.

I was with Amber 100%. People expect victims to be perfect, and she wasn't.

I thought the awful things JD wrote about her showed him to be a disgusting person and was surprised when he seemed to come out of it all largely unscathed.

Why is Amber an abuse victim but Johnny isn't?

Amber admitted to punching Johnny and then called him a baby for mentioning it.

Amber was arrested for domestic violence with her ex girlfriend.

I don't think either of them are victims.

I'm curious as to why you only believe her, when she was caught lying?

Water finds its own level.

I believe her. Always did. It’s interesting that Winona Ryder went to a lawyer to make sure her earlier statements defending Depp and discussing her relationship with him were not used in court. There are interviews from when she was younger stating her first boyfriend was violent. And she was 17 when they first starting dating. He was in his late 20s.

Other girlfriends have also stated he was violent towards them.

He’s a minimally talented actor who has coasted on his looks and who has not had to live in the real world since he was a young man. He is surrounded by people who enable him and who need him for their own careers (the Deuters). I find him repulsive.

I wish people wouldn't post this as its not what happened.

My impression was that women have to be a perfect, flawless, innocent victim in order to be believed. She wasn’t, so she wasn’t.

Men are held to a far, far lower standard.

I had lots of FB news feeds and shares of Johnny Depp visiting animal sanctuaries, images of him cuddling rescued wildlife etc all through the trial. Lots of memes on how men suffer at the hands of women. Made me . She was at the mercy of his hugely effective PR team (bank rolled by the Saudis, apparently). I think she spoke out against an abusive man and he used all his armoury to shut her down.
Unfortunately she didn't portray herself well either and suffered greatly for it, sadly.

I never said who was - why did you assume Amber and not Johnny - shows what you were thinking all along!

Curious as to why you assume when I never said either way. I said abuse victim....at no point did I say who was the victim.

I'm curious as to why you slotted AH into that and stated clearly that this is what I think?

Why fabricate things? You are now caught lying. Interesting eh?

I don’t think mutual abuse is a myth.

There are two paths for two narcissists in a relationship together which actually is a reasonably common relationship set up for narcissists. They either work together in the common goal of attention seeking supply, projecting superiority etc etc or they totally destroy each other. Johnny and Amber took that second path. I totally believe Amber and Johnny Depp are both deeply cluster B personality disordered but the way the trial was handled and the misogyny around it painted him as the victim only which is absolutely bullshit, that was for me the worst part. I’m just glad we still get to say he was an abuser thanks to the London judgement which still stands because he absolutely is.

Whilst I think Amber Heard comes across as an unpleasant person, in no way would I ever defend Johnny Depp's violence.

I have been abused and am no great fan of men, but I am completely Team Depp on this one.

Abusers isolate you. Depp moved Heard's family and friends into the building he owned, that he and Heard lived in.

Abusers don't try to hide in the bathroom, because they have nothing to fear. Whereas victims often do (me, Riva Steenkamp, Johnny Depp for example).

Then there are the audio recordings where she slags him off, calls him names because he brings up how she hit him, and even talks about how 'shiny' he used to be - narcissists love shiny.

And she has a past history of violence - assaulting a former partner.

Funny how all the pro-Depp stuff is called a media campaign, presumably orchestrated by him, but all the new pro-Amber stuff is just 'the truth'. I heard the 'Who trolled Amber Heard' podcast and it was a total whitewash, all about how it was misogyny etc.

She talks herself about how he would try to leave, and she would prevent him - which is what abusers do, not victims. You hear her endlessly taunting Depp on those tapes - again, why would she do that if she was so afraid of him?

Depp is doubtless an addict, but that made him easier to paint as the abuser, because he became more prone to reactive abuse - which in no way approached the level of abuse heaped upon him.

Two toxic people who brought out the worst in each other.

We'll never know but it's possible to be both abused AND an abuser which is probably likely in this scenario. Amber was recorded saying she did hit him. I do not believe Johnny is an innocent party as he's said and done vile things, also he's a sad old drunk.

I think its complex. They were both abusive to one another. However that abuse ranged from verbal to physical to psychological. Amber wrote the OpEd that painted a picture of a man that was all kinds of abusive to her, and she was the victim. However, it was much deeper than that, both were victims. Both were abusers. From watching the court case though, i found it harder and harder to believe that JD was phsycially abusive, and if he was, was it in self defensive or retaliation to the abuse she instigated? verbally abusive yes, psychologically abusive yes, but physically, im unsure. Her OpEd picture included the physical abuse though - which is what he argued against, he semi-admitted the verbal and psychological. There were moments where she showed herself to be a liar. The knife on the bed that was blatently used to carve the wood she claimed was split by boots? It was so clearly not a true story of what happened, it made no sense. Trying to argue amount giving the money to charity that she never gave showed her to be a liar. That and a few other moments created the circus, once shown to be a liar, then everything you say is believed to be a lie. Amber brought this on herself, if she had been more truthful about her role in the abuse, and her behaviours, maybe enough of her story would have been believed.

However, i also dont think JD should have won the trail, I think in amongst the lies she told, was some truths, and he was abusive, he was a drunk, an addict, and did some vile things to her. But he won the case, and the public, because amber lied more blatently that he did.

Couldn't give a monkeys.

Team Depp..

I think it was an unhealthy and toxic relationship and they both treated each other badly. I do think she did try to capitalize on what happened by making herself a victim and the 'leader of the me too' movement. He definitely behaved poorly but her version of events didn't add up and were completely contradicted by other witnesses. And a lot of ehr evidence, that she herself presented indicated she was the main aggressor. The 'i hit you but I didn't hit you' line, the discussion of him want to leave but her not letting him etc.

I think both are narcissists and both are abusers. But the fact that AH tried to present herself as a sole victim of abuse was untrue and she deserved to lose in court.

I do not believe she had wandering womb and not sure why this was even used as evidence in court. I think to me that was a pathetic moment in court and proved how crook the so called Drs are and will say anything for money.

I didn’t really follow it that closely but agree with the OP. A deeply toxic relationship between two very fucked up people, that did not need to be aired at such expense for the public to pick over. Unedifying all round. But of course, the woman was judged more harshly.

Couldn't care less. They're both awful and had a horrible, dysfunctional relationship.

I think they both had a role in what was clearly a very dysfunctional relationship. I think AH came across extremely badly at trial - she tried to lie and got caught out multiple times. She was contradicted by witnesses. She did a whole load of disgusting things. I wouldn't be surprised if she had taunted him prior to switching on the recordings of him hitting furniture etc as she boasted about it on other recordings. He came across like he had been out of control, at his lowest and that she had twisted the knife.

That said he was clearly also guilty of abusing her. But her trial was reliant on him being the main abuser and there was too much evidence of her also abusing him to look innocent. The OpEd also made her look extremely calculating and she was a terrible witness - flat, emotionless, aiming all her answers at the jury and crying. I've no way of judging whether her tears were genuine but they seemed very sudden and she knew that the jury knew she was an actress so her team should have prepared her better. Depp's lawyers were the real winners...they were very very very good.