Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

[caninechristmasconundrum]

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away.

Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ???

After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage)

Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

Some dog owners are bonkers tbh. I think your communication has been fine and the messages to your dh are hilariously rude!

I get that dog owning is a huge undertaking, but you haven't taken it on and you shouldn't have to. Luckily as I unwillingly have 5 cats nobody expects me to host dogs - but probably for the cats' sake rather than mine.

They're being utterly pathetic and showing you that they think less of you than a fucking dog.

Hell no.

Many years ago (the 80s) my cousin and his wife got a Great Dane. Turned up at my parents house on Christmas Day with the dog. It was chaos. Its tail was side table height so it wafted off the liqueur glasses after lunch. Stole a whole cheese off the hostess trolley. We were a cat household and she was petrified and retreated upstairs.

Same again the following year. In face every time they visited they brought the dog 🙄

I hope your husband responds to say he has shared their texts with you and he stands by you. What dreadful people.

Just back from a cafe where a woman let her dog on its long lead wander round and nuzzle people’s bags and put its front paws up on people’s chairs. The dog was clearly bored as she read her Sunday papers. It is all just ridiculous.

No would never assume and tbh we would leave ours at home. He can cope for about4/5 hours etc on his own, he doesn’t know it’s Christmas ffs. When we have had all day things I arrange for people to go in and let him out or I leave the gathering for an hour, go home, quick walk, food and company and leave again! Your house, your rules and how bloody cheeky going to your DH. So pleased he stuck by you.

I do think it's beyond cheeky of them to assume their dogs would be welcome at your house and it's unfair of them to have the bag on upon discovery that they are not welcome.

I wouldn't leave my dog all day on any day of the year and that includes Christmas Day and so, I just wouldn't come to your house! They have that option. What they don't have is the right to then get the face on about it when they're in the supermarket buying their own Christmas dinner!

We have dogs and we would never assume they were invited anywhere! Some people are just entitled.

Yanbu. It's not fair on the dogs either. They could get overexcited then stressed being around unfamiliar dogs and people for long periods of time. The day would become all about the dogs or having to shut them away.

Crazy. I was in Starbucks recently and someone let their big dog lie across one of the sofas! Unbelievable.

Glad to see your dh has your back on this and isn't falling for the manipulation tactics his family is using

I think you should do what DH suggests. Otherwise one of those cheeky fuckers will return with at least one dog after popping back to church “because they were lonely” or something.

You are now going to your family/friends/forrin/staying home eating pizza on Christmas Day and they have plenty of time to buy whatever they need to have Christmas the way they want it. Just not at your house.

Tbh after their nasty responses back I wouldn't host them at all!
As for "it's his house too".
Great, you go stay with nicer people and let him host his family (and their dogs or not!) By himself!

Bonkers dog owner here, we have 4 coming on Christmas Day. And I'd never turn a dog away.

But as this thread shows, dogs are far nicer creatures than humans are.

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house.

If it were because of germ ocd (or any kind of germ phobia, which I have too), then the fact they've asked this and have implored DH to override your refusal makes it sounds like they want you to leave your own home so they can spend the day in it with their dogs!

I'm glad DH is standing firm - you're going out of your way to host them already so they are being ungrateful shits. I can't believe they'd try to suggest that if you don't want to host their dogs in your own home then you're the one with the problem and your wishes should be ignored!

No, this thread does not show that.

Sorry just read ur update. He sounds great x

Bit presumptuous of them to say the dogs are Christian and celebrate Christmas.

Your dh sounds great.

I think it's just how some dog owners are these days. It's fine to say no, our house isn't set up for dogs.

It it beyond your imagination that this couple think differently to you?

Good example of a typical self-centered dog owner

YANBU. I wouldn't tolerate one dog in the house over Christmas never mind three.

Yes, hey are trying to wedge the dogs between you and DH, so that they can get their own way. Not cool.

This is why I NEVER send these sort of texts to DH’s family—the “no dogs invited” text would be sent by DH, not by me.

And also as an animal lover, I would never assume i could impose any animal of mine on anyone, especially if they have children!

They certainly should have asked, not assumed. That said, they won’t be able to leave them for more than 3-4 hours, and it’s a bit late to get a pet sitter, so they won’t be staying all day if they come without them - not necessarily an issue, just saying. They may decline too, also not necessarily an issue, just to be aware. Dogs are family for some of us, and not for others..

I think you’re being really decent having them all for Christmas as it is ! They seem a tad entitled and I’m with your DH in just cancelling and maybe changing the Christmas routine moving forward.

It's difficult and expensive to host Xmas