Everyone just assumed they can bring their dogs with them for Christmas day ??

[caninechristmasconundrum]

In the last year 3 members of our family have got dogs (2 puppies 1 older rescue) . We always host for Christmas and I (maybe stupidly) assumed that dogs go to kennels or stay at home for the day ? I’ve never had pets before so will admit I don’t know much ! I don’t see why a few hours at home / in a crate is bad for dogs though? We don’t live that far away.

Seems they all expected to bring their dogs with them ???

After BIL and SIL made this clear and told us that ILs will be the same about their rescue dog I’ve sent a message to everyone saying ‘Really sorry but I think there may have been some confusion on my part and I assumed the dogs would all be left at home on Christmas day. We are not able to have them here due to personal preference, lack of space and the dc are still so little. You’re all still very welcome but I understand if it’s going to be a problem leaving the dogs at home so let me know what you’d like to do xx’

DH got messages back asking is it because of my ‘germ ocd’ (in part it is that’s why I put personal preference) and telling him he has a say in it too as it’s not just my house. He replied that he assumed the same and although we have the biggest house it’s not exactly huge and having 3 dogs there too will just be too much so he’s in total agreement with me (they aren’t small breeds and the puppies are at that into everything zooming about stage)

Is this the norm now that dogs go everywhere and are never left home for a few hours ? AIBU to want a dog free Christmas ?!

Oh god, 3 dog's would be mayhem. Have these dogs all even spent prolonged time together?

Yes and then 2 posts later i said i realised that :)

A friend asked to call round with his GF. We look after his dog occasionally and it's well behaved. I said fine, dogs will have to stay in the kitchen (her's is a puppy that's into everything) ... due to hard floors. He was obviously miffed and left both dogs in the car. Why do I have to have her badly behaved (and likely mucky) dog running around the house? No chance.

Depending on the age of the puppies, they can't be left alone for any length of time. Similarly with your parent's rescue - it may get nervous and need feeding/walking/letting out, and if the firework brigade start as soon as it gets dark then someone needs to be with them.
In my case I have to take the dogs because we travel an hour and a half if we don't have christmas here, and we are gone until at least 8pm or later.
I don't think it's reasonable to expect friends or neighbours to drop into your house in the middle of their festivities to feed and exercise the dogs, so they either come with us, or everyone comes here.

It's difficult but that's how it is..

Yanbu and I have dogs, wouldn't dream of taking them unless invited.

I wouldn’t leave my dog at home on Christmas Day, or any day. It’s far too long and unfair on her. But, I wouldn’t impose my dog on you, and therefore wouldn’t attend. I always ask if she’s welcome to come to people’s homes.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable to not want other people’s dogs in your home on Christmas Day. And it is completely unreasonable for them to text your DH like that.

However, I have a dog and I wouldn’t be leaving her home alone for hours, and I wouldn’t want to leave her alone on Christmas Day - as far as I’m concerned, she’s a member of my family and I wouldn’t be leaving a human member of my family home alone on Christmas Day either so I think some incorrect assumptions have been made on both sides.

I won’t leave my dog home alone for hours so I do take her most places with me, but don’t assume she’s welcome and always check first. If pubs, restaurants, cafes, etc allow dogs, then I will take her. If they don’t, she doesn’t go but if no one else is at home we don’t stay more than a couple of hours. I don’t think it’s entitled to take my dog to places she’s allowed to go.

Stick to your guns, it’s your house, but at the same time, I wouldn’t think they were unreasonable if they decided not to come.

Since you always host christmas I would have hoped family members, out of respect, would have at least asked if they can bring dogs. But as these are new/young dogs, probably not (100%) trained, with lots of exiting food, activities etc plus young children it is clear dogs need to be kept at home.

At least your DH is stating that the offer is now cancelled. Back him up and enjoy Christmas with your DC and no dogs charging about, causing stress & havoc.

Yanbu, I’ve got a dog but would always ask permission before bringing them, and if not I’d try and arrange a kennels for the day/night. I would say depending on the dog though they shouldn’t be left at home all day.

No, responsible dog owners don’t just leave their dogs at home all day for 8 hours straight. Where are they meant to go to the bathroom? Ridiculous and anyone that does so that is a shit dog owner

A responsible dog owner, especially one with a new rescue or young puppy, would not want to stress out their pet with a busy family get together imo. Everyone on top of each other, noise levels cranked to 10, sugar-high kids careening around, food and drink set down everywhere, slightly tipsy owners. How could it go wrong?!

Refreshing to read that DH is on your side. As it should be.
Your home, your decision. If they want their dogs there for Christmas, they can stay home.

I’ve got a huge dog. We are going to family with toddlers 15 mins away. We will take it in turns to pop back every three hours.

yanbu OP

I don’t have OCD or germ phobia. I still don’t want a dog in my house. Dogs stink (they all do and I can always tell when someone owns a dog. Dog owners get nose blind) and they shed. They drool. No thanks.

Do you think I should get hypnotherapy too?

When my dgc birthday party was at the other gp's house (2 hours away) we found a local dog walker who collected our ddog when we arrived and brought her back 3 hours later.

I know Christmas day is different but sil 10mins away is the perfect solution.

And I agree that trying to cause division between you and your dh is v. shitty.

They have said that the dogs love to play together and I know they regularly all go on walks so I thought they’d be ok as are used to each other ? But i don’t know much about dogs maybe it would be different if they are left alone ?

Totaly disagree !
Humans are invited for dinner not animals .

You don’t see people turning up with their cat saying oh I assumed they were invited. .
Or bringing their pet snake or ferret .

The world’s gone mad.

Kennels are difficult and expensive but that’s the sacrifice dog owners have to make or stay home.
How is this so hard to understand.

Completely understand your position - however those saying ‘in the old days we left dogs alone while we went out to work and they were fine’ - they were not fine.

YANBU. Also to add, they are guests being treated to a full Christmas dinner and probably alcohol, puddings, cheeseboard, the works, which is a lot of cost and effort for you. To then cause issues over their dogs coming is prettt rude.

YANBU.

We are very old skool owners compared the kinda bonkers owners who tend to dominate at the minute. Most dogs can be left for up to 9 hours and don't need to be crated during that time. Additionally, dogs don't have a place at social events unless it is a specific dog event.

They can easily keep Xmas at home, can't they?

Oh I see. You are one of those dog owners who get a bad name for the decent ones too.

I can see the issue, puppies can't be left as they can only hold their bladder for a couple of hours. Even an adult dog can't be left all day, how would you like to go all day without being allowed to pee or poo?

The rescue would depend on previous experience. May have separation anxiety if it was neglected in the past.

But yeah I wouldn't want 2 puppies, young kids and an additional dog in the mix on Christmas day with a side dish of rich food and overexcitement. Its going to end in tears.

Probably best leave it for a couple years until dogs are older and can be left a bit longer.

They were fine. For 8 hours a day, they were fine, happy and loved dogs. There's this bizarre obsession with dogs being equal to people that I just can't figure out.

I agree with dh . Let him cancel.
Would I hell have three different peoples , three dogs in my home at Xmas.

Oh and I have dogs

i strongly disagree. The onus is entirely on the dog owner to ask and then accept with good grace if the host says no.