To feel under pressure to get Botox or similar things

[TheDearReader]

Hi, wondering if anyone else feels like me. It seems everyone around me (I’m 30 all friends similar age or older) is having Botox or fillers or expensive facials every month. I live in quite an affluent area and take my toddler to local classes and it seems almost all of the mums have Botox, brow laminations and all sorts done. Now I know this is my own problem but it makes me feel not good enough and like I need to join the crowd and start getting something done but honestly I don’t have the money to do it so I won’t be it just makes me feel a bit old and ugly compared to them. Does anyone else feel a pressure to get Botox or expensive facials every month and it seems that’s what everyone around you is now doing?

Nope. I see some of the other mums round here with lip fillers, ways looks awful. I don't know what that brow thing is you've mentioned.

Never felt the need to join the plastic look myself.

Why would you want to look like a template for a blow-up doll?

I can't see why anyone would opt to have such things added to their bodies. They never look good. You will always be far more lovely looking than they are in your natural state.

Agree with the others. Botox and fillers always, always look shit.
If you're feeling insecure, just have your hair done nicely and put some nice make up on, maybe some new clothes (Vinted if your friend when money is tight) so you feel more 'glam' without resorting to freezing your face with weird shit. Honestly, you will look 10 times better than them.

Nope it looks ridiculous. Just start throwing the word natural around and maybe some others will realise actually they don't like the new fake photo-only look. So many people on SM look great and you see them IRL and go woah!!

This is soo true SM is playing a huge part in this. I wish I could delete it but I need it for my business

No, I have focused on looking for awesome women who are amazing at what they do and have gone the natural route. Mary beard, Judy dench, Jamie lee Curtis etc. Also finding that 'done' women look increasingly very very odd. The poor woman who plays starlight in 'the boys' has ruined herself. Kristen bell looks like the joker.

Well, don't follow the insecure daft people who fill their faces, arses and tits with chemicals

Capitalism and the ‘beauty’ industry literally exist to make you feel not good enough and old and ugly. Once you see it for what it is, it’s easier to resist.

Fillers never look good. I see them in real life on 30 year olds at work and they just look odd. You can always tell; even the posts on here where people put pictures of their lips and say ‘mine look completely natural’ - no they don’t. Maybe to them, straight on into the selfie lens. But every time no, not from all the angles everyone else can see.

You've even said that you don’t have the money, so for god’s sake don’t start getting into debt for it. If you can spare even £10 a month put that into savings for your toddler’s Disneyland fund; something you love doing; whatever - but do not waste it on injecting shit into your face.

I don’t but they just keep popping up on my feed (Facebook) I don’t use any other platforms

You can fix that easily. Spend a day watching videos about bridge construction and it's all you will see.

Thank you 🙏🏻 my dream is to take her to Lapland when she’s much older (she’s only 2) so saving for something like that is definitely a better way to spend (well save) my money

I feel zero pressure to do this, couldn't give a shit. But I'm in my forties now. I think 15 years ago if everyone was getting it I may also have felt some pressure to do so. V depressing.

I'm same age as you. Would never consider fillers but Botox for forehead lines has crossed my mind. There's a 34yr old on Instagram called Bambidoesbeauty who hasn't had any work done and she looks amazing and shares hacks...I've just bought some silicone scar patches to try as apparently they're good for forehead wrinkles! 🤣

Surely the fact that you can see they've had all this work done is enough to put you off?

It comes from insecurity.

I also feel that temptation occasionally. Agree with pp about social media - could you try unfollowing people, maybe fiddling with your settings to see more of what you're interested in and less of just the standard sludge that appeals to our deepest insecurities? It's mean, but when I get tempted I remember all the women I've seen who just look awful with it. Maybe start a little savings pot towards whatever is within your price range that will make you feel more attractive.

Holy shit, it’s a miracle if I get the energy to even wash my hair and brush it. No way on gods green earth I would feel pressured into all that shite!

I remove the “pressure” by just not even thinking about it because it’s just not for me.

The end.

I’m not in high school any more, I’m an adult who makes decisions for myself which tend to centre around survival and paying my bills, not around self indulgent expense that I cannot afford.

wash your face, clean your teeth and brush your hair occasionally, and get tough on your thoughts. If any self imposed pressured thoughts creep in, tell them to fuck off,

Just don't follow all these influencers on social media.

Botox/ filler never crosses my mind apart from when I see people talking about it on here, because I just don't surround myself with that crowd IRL.

None of my friends have it. Try to find people who are more similar to you and you will feel better.

Don't do it! I'm approaching 50 and if I'm honest I have felt tempted to get Botox on my forehead but I'm resisting because there is nothing wrong with aging or not having completely wrinkle free skin over a certain age, or just looking like yourself. You're 30 so probably don't even need it anyway!

Also, unless you only have very subtle tweaks, it mostly looks bloody awful as people tend to go OTT and end up getting more and more done. Just concentrate on good skincare, being healthy and basic grooming to look your best. Don't follow the crowd, at some point in the future fashion will change and the fake plumped up look will be out but you'll be stuck with a filler ravaged face - that's what my 1990's thin never properly grown back eyebrows would advise.

Hahaha the last bit made me laugh 🤣 l so true x

Yes it is 100% my own insecurities I guess I just feel they’d go if I got work done? But it would probably never be enough and I’d always be wanting something else done

Work on your self esteem. Having self confidence is way more attractive than a plastic face.

I'm mid forties and don't relate at all but is that a generational thing? I know a few people who have had something done but I don't feel pressured. Anything involving lips looks ridiculous and to be honest where I live it's mostly quite chavvy people that have a face full of plastic so not really aspirational for me personally.

There are other ways to make you feel good about your self rather than pumping your body full of chemicals. Have your hair done, new makeup, go to the gym.

I'd be more worried about the side effects in years to come and what your face would end up looking like once you stop.

Invest in your own self-care diet, exercise etc the current faze is sadly just a trend that will have health repurcussions down the line. Many are already having their fillers disolved but deflated lips will look like shrivelled balloons. Whereas youll be ahead of the curve rocking the natural look. As well as setting a great example for your own daughter down the line.