To feel under pressure to get Botox or similar things

[TheDearReader]

Hi, wondering if anyone else feels like me. It seems everyone around me (I’m 30 all friends similar age or older) is having Botox or fillers or expensive facials every month. I live in quite an affluent area and take my toddler to local classes and it seems almost all of the mums have Botox, brow laminations and all sorts done. Now I know this is my own problem but it makes me feel not good enough and like I need to join the crowd and start getting something done but honestly I don’t have the money to do it so I won’t be it just makes me feel a bit old and ugly compared to them. Does anyone else feel a pressure to get Botox or expensive facials every month and it seems that’s what everyone around you is now doing?

Urgh, this is said all the time on Botox threads.

It's such a privilege to be Not Dead that you should pay for it by resisting beauty treatments.

Means nothing, makes no sense.

P.s those treatments are designed to keep you coming back for more. The fashion is changing for big lips and now they're all getting them dissolved! Next week it'll be big again... It's just a money making scheme. Lashes, nails, lips, hair, teeth, tits, tan...I couldn't feel confident if I knew it was all fake.

• Drink lots of water
• Drop alcohol consumption right down.
• Cut out processed food, even "fresh" deli stuff with stabilizers, emulsifiers etc.
• Pay attention to your omega 3 to 6 ratios. More 3 less 6. Consume olive oil daily, avocado, oily fish. Capsules no good here. Get it from the whole food.
• No caffeine after lunch
• Get out in nature/fresh air each day
• Move your body (not necessarily gym..but just move)
• Clear out your digital diet of insta-toxicity, violent telly etc
• Make sure you're cleaning teeth v efficiently. Proper flossing, mouthwash, use an electric toothbrush if you don't already. Get round all the angles. (P.s you don't have to have perfectly straight perfectly shaped teeth either)
• Moisturize. Doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. Just Moisturize. Don't forget your neck/chest area.
• UV exposure: don't sit in the sun, not that there is much of it now. 😂 You'll want to use SPF more often that you think you do in the summer months.
• Have a night time routine for yourself. What do you do before bed? Doesn't have to be massive. I dim the lights 15 mins before I turn in and have the same herbal tea.

^^ these things will make you look younger in the long run.

Bonus
They'll be good for your insides, too ☺️

Don't feel pressure. Ageing is not a crime.

If I were surrounded by botoxed, trout mouthed people it would make me even more sure of staying natural. I’m not a sheep anyway so the last thing I’d want to do is join the club and I’m not easily pressured by peers. I’d revel in my naturalness amongst them.

I’m not sure I’d call those things beauty treatments. I’ve never seen anyone look better after Botox and lip fillers.

You can absolutely tell if people have had botox - it is in the way the face moves (or rather doesn't).

I am not entirely conviced that long term using a food poisoning toxin to paralyse facial muscles is the best idea.

It's so cool that you're not like the other girls 👏

I know this is sarcasm but yeah, actually it is cool. I'd be delighted and proud of her if DD is confident enough to resist all this when she's older

Great. But what difference does it make to anything? You don't get a medal or anything on your deathbed for aging naturally.

Just let people be in charge of their own faces 🤷‍♀️

Name calling (sheep, troutmouthed) isn't cool @DappledThings . I'd worry less about your DD being cool enough not to get Botox and more about her/your language around women.

I'm not looking for a medal. I assume you're not looking for one either.

OP asked if anyone feels able to resist the pressure of botox etc. Lots of us are happy to do so.

I haven't used either of those terms

Edit because I said "have" when I meant haven't!

And some of us enjoy getting it without having ever felt 'pressured' to.

I get it and my mum eye rolls every time. I was also getting it for months before I mentioned it and she never noticed...but apparently it's still a dreadful disfiguring thing to do to your face.

People are as much sheep-like in their sneering as they are in choosing to have Botox.

I get you.

I absolutely hate the Love Island look that seems to be everywhere now and feel for my daughters I have an obligation to call it out as crap and encourage them to be happy in themselves. But....

I also work with lots of women 5-10 yrs younger than me (I am 41) who have super subtle Botox (they are honest about it which is how I know) and they honestly look great and I would be lying if I didn't often see myself on Teams and just think I look like a haggard old bag alongside them.

It's not as easy as "oh just don't follow social media and get nicer friends) - these are my work colleagues that I can't decide to stop seeing! And not everyone ends up looking like Katie Price (which is not a look I would want at all!!) so it can just drip drip into your life and it's hard to manage!

Don't do it. It makes them look older and half of the time it looks ridiculous.

I have a friend who's 51. She's always been a naturally beautiful woman and remains a beautiful woman. However, for the last year she's been having fillers on her lips, and well, you can imagine how her lips look now. It's very obvious what she's had done. Let's just say it's not subtle.
I completely understand that it's her choice and as long as she's happy that's really all that matters. However, I do feel it's a shame. She's was someone who was naturally beautiful. Yes, she looked 51 but there's nothing wrong with that. She looked wonderful! But now with these lips I think she looks silly. None of my business and I would never say anything because she's happy with the results. But still.

I have two very wealthy friends. One is a medic and has looked into all this stuff extensively and the other has tried a few things. They have both come to the conclusion that the only intervention that really works long term is a face lift late 40s/ early 50s depending on the person and possibly repeated when older. All the other things not great or sustainable.

Me? I’m a big cynic about this stuff and don’t trust the manufacturers. I save my more modest income for health things as I get older - private gynaecology, teeth etc plus good vitamins and skincare.

I think this is a generational thing as I’m mid forties and wouldn’t consider it. I actually think a lot of the influencers who have had this sort of thing done in their thirties look older so not sure it’s actually working.

Personally I focus on taking care of myself by eating well, exercising, getting a good nights sleep and avoiding sunscreen, I follow a lady on IG who focuses on skincare in your forties + and she mainly talks about hydration and how they can help you look better for longer. Her name is The Beauty Recluse and as someone who has no interest in beauty and skincare she has helped me get into a good routine and recommends a wide range of different prices and budgets.

But I'm mid forties and get Botox, as do the two women I work with in their 40s. We're literally the target demographic.

I actually think a lot of the influencers who have had this sort of thing done in their thirties look older so not sure it’s actually working.

DD likes watching Love Island, so I was subjected to a few episodes this year. One of the women is the same age as DD (24) and looked about 12 years older due to all the work she had done to her face.

You’re 30 and you feel old and ugly?

I’m not really sure what to say. I think this is a matter of you working on your own self-esteem OP. I can say with absolute confidence that you are not old and ugly! Xx

As you can see that the other mums have had work done, it's all a bit redundant really isn't it?

They all look totally fake and you look totally normal. I know which one I'd rather be.

Please don't get fillers, botox etc. I think they look awful. There's a longer term risk as well - you have to keep up with treatments or you end up looking really blooming horrific as they cause more issues!

I'm not sneering about people who have Botox. What people do to their faces is totally up to them.

But you're kidding yourself thinking that people don't notice. People DO notice but don't say anything. This is why those who have Botox think that no one can tell...

I have a very good friend who has clearly had Botox around her eyes. She looks terrible. She hasn't mentioned it... neither have I. I'm sure she thinks no one can tell.

Of course people notice, I tell everyone, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed at all!