To feel under pressure to get Botox or similar things

[TheDearReader]

Hi, wondering if anyone else feels like me. It seems everyone around me (I’m 30 all friends similar age or older) is having Botox or fillers or expensive facials every month. I live in quite an affluent area and take my toddler to local classes and it seems almost all of the mums have Botox, brow laminations and all sorts done. Now I know this is my own problem but it makes me feel not good enough and like I need to join the crowd and start getting something done but honestly I don’t have the money to do it so I won’t be it just makes me feel a bit old and ugly compared to them. Does anyone else feel a pressure to get Botox or expensive facials every month and it seems that’s what everyone around you is now doing?

I just don’t really know what to do to improve it that doesn’t involve spending a load of money. I am on a weight loss journey and I joined a gym a few months ago. I will see if there are any books about improving self esteem

There you go - now it feels like a conscious choice you are making!

I agree with PP about taking a bit of the savings for YOU though, a few new bits of clothing to make you feel ‘well presented’ in whatever your preferred style is. Your insecurities will not go if you faff about with your face, you will just be on a never ending treadmill of having to keep it up and do more and more.

Skincare is the only thing I bother with and there’s no need to go high end, something like No7 protect and perfect moisturiser or the Superdrug own brand ones are also really good. I am 20-odd years older than you so these days I buy Olay Regenerist when it’s on offer for £15 and a pot lasts me months.

And enjoy your bridge construction videos while you beat the Facebook algorithms, that did make me laugh.

Honestly, that look is on the way out and we're starting to see utter horror stories about fillers in particular.

Here you go. Sounds like you're doing great.

No, they aren't.
Silicone patches started life as a treatment to reduce scarring. They merely donate a small amount of water, temporarily, to the skin. It regydrates for a brief time, then goes back to normal.
But marketing and lack of research by the consumer has led to this particular Emperor's New Clothes moment

Remind yourself how pretty much everyone with fillers and/or botox ends up looking hideous at some point, that it's addictive and that a 30 year old can surely find better things to spend her money on (that make her feel good inside as well as out). 😃

Skincare and a healthy lifestyle is the way forward. The ones who have Botox and fillers end up look way older than they are.

Every time you loose as much as a pound, congratulate yourself!
Every time you look at your child remember you created that amazing human!
Every time you hit a business target remind yourself that you earned that.
Not cheesey self affirmative crap, just honest and realistic recognition of the things you are achieving!

I could afford to have lip fillers and brow lamination comfortably.

I don’t, because I think they look ridiculous!

You do you.

I actually find a unique kind of arrogance in some of the au natural types - almost a bit like I’m a natural beauty and those who get stuff done aren’t.

i personally have botox and can subtly spot other women who have it. They just don’t look as knackered 🤣
fillers I don’t have and don’t know much about but it does seem to be on its way out as a look. Obviously mumsnet gets to be classist about the “chavs” having their filler though 😉

Obviously you do you OP but there’s some mean girl cattiness on this thread

if you are tempted to get work done please don’t do it now! It ages you terribly when you do it in your 20s and 30s!

Leave well alone! Don't ruin your face. An early 30's woman I see on dog walks sometimes has lip fillers and I always think they spoil her otherwise lovely face.
Don't be a Katie Price!

I feel zero pressure but it doesn't seem very common around here. There are a handful of school mums who look like they've had lip filler and it does not look good

Not at 30

It looks ridiculous

Nobody looks younger with fillers. They just look...different

No. I am 53. Never getting them. They look terrible to me and I have no desire to look like the Love Island women.
It's very easy to get off social media.

I'm so pleased that none of the women in my family have ever gone down this route. Or felt this "pressure".

It's awful look and does nothing for anyone.

It can actually be aging

Look at Lindsay Lohan. She could easily be 48

I'm mid forties and don't relate at all but is that a generational thing?

Im 40 & it’s the 30 somethings who have it for some reason. Social media I guess.

I’m not being catty. I’m also very far from ‘beautiful’ naturally but I also couldn’t be ‘beautiful’ if I had all the treatments in the world.

What I do feel is a sadness that young women are still buying into this belief that how they look is the most important thing about them. And adopting ever more extreme treatments that have somehow become mainstream.

Of course it’s a choice but I genuinely believe not one taken freely. The pressure OP described is real and that makes me sad and angry. It’s not catty or arrogant to wonder why are women expected to do all this?

I can relate as I live in a similar area- I would say the look here is very subtle rather than Love Island and I only know about the Botox because they recommend practitioners on the school mums WhatsApp group or will say anyone fancy a coffee I’ve got Botox at 10 so hanging around.

I got my brows microbladed when DS was 14 months and it helped me feel put together when I had no make up on. I don’t need fillers or Botox so I don’t get them (but might in the future if I want to). Like a PP I focused on my wardrobe and looking good in my post pregnancy size rather than scruffing about in baggy leggings and DHs hoodies. Probably made more of a difference than Botox!

@TheDearReader best advice from an older poster…is to look after your skin naturally. Wear SPF every day (not just summer time) and devise an affordable skin care routine that has an element of effectiveness and pampering. Products that work: Retinol in the PM (Vit A) which you should introduce slowly and sparingly at first To reduce wrinkle visibility, Vit C for brightness in the AM (again, introduce slowly). Combine with a massage tool or electric stimulation device as you get older and you’ll achieve the same effect with none of the risks. Good value brands are The Inkey list and The ordinary.

Filler can migrate. Everyone is different and you never know what might happen for your own body. They don’t always dissolve naturally either. Steer clear of these at your age. Absolutely never visit anyone who doesn’t have recognisable medical training (Doctor or Nurse) or proper medical insurance.

As a pp said, spend the money on experiences for you and your child.

No amount of pressure from anyone would make me have that junk injected into my face. If you're feeling the need to give in why not look at why your sense of self esteem is so dependent on it and spend the time on building that up to a healthy level instead. The botoxed yummy mummys I know are all looking too overdone now, its not ageing well with them and who knows what health implications could be down the road for them. Embrace who you are and the face you have at this chapter of your life and enjoy it.

I'm 16 years older than you and feel no pressure to do fillers or botox. Look after your skin - drink water, eat well, get a decent skin care regime - I've been using Boots Perfect and Protect since I was 30 and have now added retinol.

We all want to look our best so I am not going to pretend I don't care about looking good, but the best advice I can give is accept aging as a fact and make your peace with it.

To me fillers and botox don't even look good, it looks a little delusional. They are the modern day equivilent of those older ladies I used to see as a child with thick pale masks of make up painted on top of their skin .

I live in an affluent area and don't see anyone botox or fillers. If they do, it's certainly not noticeable. Don't be a sheep. You'll look better without them.