DH is a really active, involved parent and better than many when it comes to domestic tasks and some aspects of the mental load (I wouldn’t say we were exactly 50/50 quite yet but working on it).
However he reverts to ‘helper’ status at Christmas (and around DC birthdays actually). As in, he’ll mostly complete any task I assign him but he very much waits to be managed/ organised and his enthusiasm varies wildly, as does how well he’ll execute any of the tasks.
This year he has:
-fetched the decs, tree etc out of the
-helped a bit with decorating but got grumpy and stressed about it all because we weren’t doing it at what he felt would have been a more ideal time
-helped a lot with the pre decorating clean/ sort/ clear out and tidy
-put the outdoor decs I bought out but moaned that they looked crap and I’d got the wrong things, then decided they were great after all once a neighbour commented positively
-bought a couple of DD’s presents
-come along to nativity and organised for his parents to go on the other day
-shown interest in the food shop and what we’re planning, made a few suggestions and volunteered to actually go do the shop since I didn’t bother with our usual click and collect slot this year (as there was so much missing last year I had to practically do a full shop immediately after anyway)
-bought a selection box for DD because I wasn’t going to bother (she’s getting plenty of other chocolate) and he was horrified
-ordered the Christmas booze
He’ll also be responsible for buying and wrapping presents for his family, I don’t get involved in that at all. These will consist of a couple of books and some vouchers but that’s how his family seem to roll and everyone’s happy so I leave them to it. I do get his parents a calendar with DD pictures each year though as I’m already doing one for a relative of mine (they do actually request this each year, I’m not just foisting it on people!)
He will also be collecting my elderly relative from the airport when she arrives on 23rd.
I’ve done all the booking of panto tickets, making plans etc. I’ve done the magic for DD so far in terms of advent calendar, all the nice little activities like making paper chains and baking etc. To be fair he’s endlessly played the donkey in her constant acting out of her nativity play though! I’ll make the shopping list, do the bulk of the dinner. I’ve bought the majority of DD’s presents and will wrap them. I remember all the school stuff, sort donations for Christmas fair and food to take in for class party and remember own clothes day and toy day, helped DD write cards for her friends etc etc. I made the Christmas cake and will decorate it.
He’ll help with food prep and be a spoony fucker in general
Oh and he’s very good at going round turning off all the various sets of lights each evening before bed!
So not terrible, but probably not as great at Christmas as he is generally. I think if I sat back and just let him lead on this stuff we’d all get fed and the tree would probably go up at some point, maybe a few selection boxes dished out but it would all be massively more low key and a few things that we do all really enjoy - including him - would end up getting missed.
I probably do a bit too much. Probably his would actually be fine if I just went on strike. He doesn’t get cross with me for getting stressed about it, but his answer will always be ‘just don’t bother then, it doesn’t matter’ - and yet the things I don’t bother with he’s all wide eyed and ‘what do you mean you’ll just get a shop bought cake this year?’