AIBU to still be annoyed about my oxbridge rejection years later?

[OneTealEagle]

I got abused at home, played up at school, failed my GCSEs and got expelled at 16. There were no signs of academic potential until about half way through A-levels when I started disregarding everything at home and working hard then ended up finishing A-levels with 4A*.

I never had the confidence to apply to oxbridge, imperial, LSE etc so I'm not sure if I "technically" got rejected or not but I've only got more and more bitter about it with age.

I didn't realise that most of the "state" applicants are actually from grammar schools/top performing comps which have far more in common with private schools than a mediocre/poor comp which I'm sure oxbridge realise and account for. I didn't realise I'd have been flagged up as highly disadvantaged due to FSM, postcode etc and that this would be taken into account.

I didn't realise how many of the applicants are "optimistic" with only 1 in 5 of the applicants actually achieving 3A* in the end.

I was by far the brightest person at A-level and had no-one compare myself to until uni when my lab partner was someone who received and met her offer but turned it down. She was very good but definitely weaker than me and it showed on exams.

Finally, (and this is what has made the regret resurface) I've recently made my first million at 25. I don't think poor = dumb since there are so many societal reasons someone might be poor, however I do think doing this well this young says something.

I thought it was some impossible goal that I would never pull off though if look back now I suspect I would have had a good chance if I had some self confidence (which you can't realistically expect from someone being abused at home, expelled 1 year prior to applications, told to get a job at 16 by parents and originally predicted CCDE at A-level).

I regret it so much and it seems so unfair how something so influenced by parents/school is brought up decades later into your life. AIBU?

@bridgetreilly See above

OP you've done amazingly well, from where you were at 16, really great achievement against the odds. Maybe you should look at why you're focusing on not doing one thing, that hasn't held you back in any way, rather than all the other great things you have done. You don't know you'd have enjoyed it anyway. Its not your fault you weren't confident, in my opinion you're much more likely to gain confidence through private school and that's one of the reasons that applications are so much higher. Please stop beating yourself up for having a completely normal reaction to your upbringing

Oxbridge do take GCSE results into consideration, don’t know why people think they are irrelevant!

Do we know what OP does yet??

I’d question your intellectual fit with oxbridge if you consider yourself being technically rejected by oxbridge when you never actually applied in the first place.

I’d also question the legitimacy of this whole
post based on the fact you allude to failing GCSEs but still doing A levels getting to uni, doing what appears to be a science degree (not known for its riches) and still making a million by 25.

I never had the confidence to apply to oxbridge, imperial, LSE etc so I'm not sure if I "technically" got rejected or not but I've only got more and more bitter about it with age.

I would say you are EXTREMELY unreasonable to feel increasingly bitter about something that never happened, yes.

What about doing an MBA? Oxford's Said business school is great, they do run Executive MBA's which could tie in with your work times so you don't take too long off, and it's a way to get it out of your system a little.

I do understand though, I don't think anyone including me realised I was smart so I had no structure or suggestion to apply to a good uni or to pick a proper course/ career, it was only after the final exams it came out that I had the points for medicine or vet. and could have had my choice of courses (Irish system so it's different to A levels). I've always had a regret that I could have had a different life if an adult back then had given me more time or if I had internet access and knew myself what to think about but worked through it and have done a masters in Oxbridge and worked at Cambridge afterwards which did address it a good bit.

Nope. I asked how they made their million by 25 but nothing, not even a hint. All a bit odd really. If you’re savvy enough to make a million by that age against all the odds (hard upbringing etc) then you’re surely savvy enough to know you don’t get rejected by something you’ve never even applied for.