AIBU to feel completely distressed by the viral video of the aftermath of onlyfans worker Lily P 'sleeping with' 100 men?

[MumOfOneAllAlone]

I've tried to word this carefully.

Lily, an onlyfans star, aged 20something I'm guessing, slept with 100 men in one go, as part of a documentary.

Following this, she's on camera crying. She says her eyes hurt as some of the men ejaculated in them, despite her saying no.

My heart is broken for this girl. Im a feminist but I've never thought of sex work as being empowering?

Surely, the empowerment of sex work has failed this poor girl? And surely the 100 men who agreed to do this are criminals???

I'm so angry. You could see in the video that Lily is realising what a mistake this was and is very traumatised.

Anyway, didn't see a thread on this so thought I'd post. My heart goes out to her, and my brain feels very angry at those who failed to protect her.

She looks completely traumatised, poor girl.

I think this is the part of the discussion that is missing and always missing in these kinds of situations. I agree 100%.

How come so many men are willing to engage in these kinds of sex acts and how come they so rarely face criticism for doing so?

I do feel sympathy for this woman because I'm not heartless. We have a society that simultaneously glorifies sex work and shames women for it, too. It very rarely seeks to shame the men who engage in it.

Does that mean she's not somewhat responsible for making this choice? Of course not, but it doesn't exist in a vacuum, does it? We have feminists, for Christ's sake, declaring that sex work is empowering for women.

I think this all started as a stunt for attention and views and money and when the reality of what she was doing hit-it was too late. If you don't have sympathy for a woman who was in clear distress (and I don't give a flying fuck if you think it's her fault or not) I think there's something wrong with you.

Of course, these men weren't bound to be stand-up individuals, but the focus here is solely on her-why? Why not on the 100 men who willingly engaged in this? Have we set the bar so low for men that we just expect such despicable behaviour from them?

Consent is continuous and can be removed at any time. She didn't consent to having the men ejaculate into her eyes but they did it anyway. To the poster who treated it like this was her fault because those men obviously weren't good men anyway-do you always hold men to such pitifully low standards?

No, I don’t feel any sympathy for her and my heart certainly isn’t broken for her. For goodness sake!

She knew what she was doing, and did it to make money. She could have stopped at any time. If anyone did anything against her will she could have reported it to the police at any time - it’s not as if she would be too embarrassed as she had already written newspaper articles/given interviews/ got huge publicity about what she planned to do (for which she was presumably paid).

I'll repeat: if she found she wasn’t enjoying it she could have stopped at any time. No-one was forcing her. There are a lot more more deserving news items to feel heartbroken about.

I mean, it's genuinely didn't see anything like that? I didn't see any part where she actively said she needed the men to call more men to come and join in.

I did watch as she said she disassociated and can't remember much after the first almost 40? She was also stood there crying

If she was sat laughing and was happy and in control of this situation, then this would obviously be a different thread.

The 23 year old was crying, clearly remorseful. A polished video posted afterwards doesnt negate her clearly crying in the documentary.

There are so many reasons to see her as a victim of her circumstances, it's not just plucking stuff out of thin air.

@PoppyRoseBucky are you missing the fact that she wants to carry on doing it?

Agree here.

The men are evil and are an example of how a lot men behave when they think they can get away with it.

No, you're missing the fact that I don't care.

We, yet again, have a society that declares sex work is empowering and then act surprised when it creates young women like this!

You haven't bothered to answer the point about why she is being shamed for this but the 100 men are getting off scot-free.

I think the men are vile.

She wanted the money and she wanted the notoriety. She also has a streak to her sexuality which wants to cross natural boundaries and allow the voyeuristic audience to see things that really usually would be considered too private to show. To some extent, all pornography is this.

Only Fans encourages a certain kind of exhibitionism, and it also promised great riches by just exposing yourself. There is an element of creating yourself/your 'offering', and Lily has come up with a pretty fail-safe way of getting the viewers/subscribers (aka money).

So her main stunt is having sex for the first time with male virgins. This is, of course, as consensual as it can be, but it is also peculiarly outrageous somehow. It feels as if it should be more protected and more private than, say, a 35 year old woman who's been having sex for 20 years consensually having sex with an equally experienced male in a vanilla porn video. There is porn and then there is porn.

Lily seems to have somehow tried to find the things people find OTT and verging on the totally distasteful, and they both involve an element of humiliation which is more or less sickening.

Do I feel sorry for her? Absolutely not. No wonder she was crying a bit. Of course it was an intense experience. And I don't know what proportion of them ejaculated but her entire body will have been flooded with an awful lot of other people's genes, which will also have been having a physical effect.

She willingly put herself up for this and now, because maybe the profile wasn't high enough, she's on the front pages everywhere with the tears. She looked fine. She was fine. She was certainly fine when she counted up the cash.

In fact, I feel a little envious of her. It's a good stunt. And it made her so much money. I could do with that after being controlled and abused. And tbf I could do with quite a lot of physical love. Maybe not 101 though in quite such quick succession. A pity if she really liked one and had to move on to one she didn't.

Seriously, though. EITHER you are upset because of all that. OR you shut up because you got what you wanted - lots of cash and lots of attention.

She is now saying she wants to have 1000 men in a day. So even the crying etc could be a bit of a show, so that people will be omg she was crying after 100, what will she be like after 1000??

It's all branding and marketing, and I guess she may be intending to retire when she's made enough money.

I don't think it's the fault of Only Fans. It's her choice and that of the guys who did it. They've all profited. And yes, I do think there is something psycho-sexually and psychologically out of kilter with her to behave and seem like the nice girl next door and do that. It's almost self-harm. Maybe that's why it makes me feel a bit sick.

All together pretty unpleasant, but her choice.

I found the whole thing quite distressing too.

I dont understand the sex work is empowering train of thought. Is it that they get economic power as it pays well, or social or political power, is it more effective at thst than other work.

Or is it the idea they are in control of their sexuality and can make decisions about it so that's powerful. But I can't really see that making the decision to earn money this way is more powerful than making the decision not to.

She does this stuff regularly as well which is why I don’t buy the tears at the end of the 100. There’s a video where she said she went to Nottingham with Bonnie Blue and they were having sex with a load of men but then after a few hours there were still loads of men waiting their turn so they got 25 of them in in one go in the room and they just took turns on them both. Quite sickening but that’s another choice she has made.

She’s aiming for 1000 men in a day now. Absolutely absurd!

She’s 23 - more than legally an adult.

She’s done this before - so she went in with her wide open.

All this ‘she’s a victim’ or ‘she needs sectioning’ or ‘she must be a victim of abuse’ is just so frustrating. Women can make mistakes (as she clearly did in this case) without being victims, without having suffered former abuse and without mental health issues. It’s part of being human. We don’t need to invent a story behind every mistake people make. Sometimes people fuck up.

Yes, it is sad. But it can be both sad and something that was entirely within her own power to not do.

Obviously on mn all women r innocent vulnerable victims who cannot think for themselves and need a man to guide them. In every single decision and all people with mh want to do this kind of stunt while all men r evil predators including dads sons uncles brothers of each poster lol

Absolutely

Doesn't sound that traumatised to me if she gonna do it again

This is not sex work, this is content creation. Women forced into sex work wouldn't do this, for them it's about survival. She's trying to glamorise a something women are forced into doing.

Why are you watching this sort of thing?

Women are definitely capable of doing stupid things. But this isn't like she sped, or stole a lipstick or fucked the wrong person. She's not some woman who is selling a few pics on onlyfans to buy a new car or whatever.

She's a 23 year old planned to sleep with 100 men for profit. She performed oral sex without condoms and put herself at risk of severe stds. The men didn't respect her, and during this event, she zoned out and stopped being present.

The profit doesn't just go to her, but to a host of other people around her, who themselves decided they themselves were unable to go on camera.

At best, her parents involvement is dubious. We've ranged from they're flying abroad with the money she's given them to her mother being actively involved.

I think based on this, it's fair to say she's a victim who needs help.

It came up on my twitter feed and there are also articles written about her

Wow, 40% think the post is unreasonable. Jesus must be coming back sound. Would you be happy if this was your daughter?

Where is the evidence that her parents are involved? Because on TikTok she says that they kind of know what she does because she told them when she started to be well known but that she thinks they like to pretend it’s just online stuff and not hardcore porn.

Take a look back in the thread

She interviewed the men before and assigned them a order number. She did competitions for them to be in with a chance to be one of those men. Men brought their gfs / wife's.
If she can organise all that I'd argue she wasn't a victim.

Many abuse victims turn to risky sex or sex work in an attempt to regain control. What’s your point?