To not keep my mouth shut..

[arcticpandas]

So DH loves romantic comedies. Think Love Actually, Pretty Woman, Bridget Jones etc. I don't but each to their own. But certain movies have not aged gracefully imo. Think Pretty Woman. Is it romantic to pay a prostitute? And Bridget Jones. How overweight is she? Not at all imo and yet it's a big part of the plot. Also when Hugh Grant touches her butt it's supposed to be exciting when in fact it's sexual harassment. Maybe it's me getting old 40+ or it's the whole metoo débâcle that has made it impossible to not notice and be annoyed about misogynie and sexism and bodyshaming in movies. My DH thinks I'm a bore and that "it's just a movie" and I get that. Yet I have to either point out what's upsetting if I'm in the living room, or I have to go elsewhere.
So
AIBU - Yes, just shut up and let your DH enjoy his films.
AINBU- No, you are right to point out blatant sexism.
I am seriously in doubt about this one since I do get that DH wants to relax and not having me nag but also I find some things too offensive and I feel I need to point them out since he doesn't see the harm.

Isn’t the whole point of Pretty Woman that it’s not romantic to pay a prostitute???

These movies are not meant to be enjoyed by the permanently offended karens amongst us who go out 9f their way to find fault and be permanently offended by men who walk past them or stand near them lol

This is what I’m thinking.

OP, what type of films do you like? I bet there’s loads of issues in them that you wouldn’t condone.

To be fair I hate the overly woke casting in films and tv series nowadays

Usually the casting is so bad it’s like they sacrifice acting ability for wokeness and giving a part to someone who ticks a box rather than being good at their job

And if it is a drama series in the UK, it’s always the same set of actors (Usually ex Dr Who’s)

I watched a film with a lot of shooting in it once with someone who works with firearms

I got a running commentary about how the actors were holding their weapons and the fact if you held a particular gun with one hand you would dislocate your shoulder very quickly. No one could care less about accuracy. It was just annoying

Films are escapist entertainment. They aren’t meant to be teaching material or to be held up as some sort of moral compass for future generations.

Even today’s woke tv shows will look dated in 20 years time.

Stay away from the old James Bond movies then!

Movies are full of stuff that's not socially acceptable. ...... murders, terrorism, affairs, drugs, people trafficking, child abuse, prostitution, bank robbery, gun running ........

It's just a story, let it go.....

Yeah I cringe a bit and do the raised eyebrow sometimes but then just try to relax and enjoy - same with Friends. Can’t help but still love it despite the sexism. However my recent ex would ruin every tv show or film with racist, homophobic and fattist comments which drove me nuts. Very different to what you said which was basically the truth! ! And yes JKR is also telling the truth. Thank goodness for her.

My God let the poor man watch his films in peace! Yes it was a different era, yes it doesn't happen now- he probably knows this anyway, but it's just a film!!

You must be fun at parties

She is not 15!

Although tbf he does "letter in track" for her.

Although the star of one of the oldest rom coms of all time was only 15 - the virgin mary

She was 12!

I believe that we live in a patriarchal world, which includes the political, social and cultural structures that create and reinforce sexism and oppression of women. The more insidious aspects of that comes through the more cultural aspects such as films. I therefore dont think we should just ignore it. The films you mention have reached a global market, watched by millions and they certainly portray women in a negative light. You are right to bring up your concerns about these films, but your partner probably won’t agree with you.

In what way is it a romcom if, in the foundation myth of a world religion, an angel shows up and tells a woman who’s never had sex that she’s been impregnated by the Holy Spirit?

So much wrong with this post I can't be bothered to unpick.

If there is so much wrong then please tell me, I can’t wait to hear how we can all do what we want and the world around us is fair and just to women.

I think it is fine to point it out and would expect any adult to be watching it with a critical eye - but you do sound like you are doing it in a nasty way and ruining his fun - you also made me fancy watching Bridget Jones

YABU. Don't be a grouch. I love all those films. Happy to meet up with your DH and watch them if you don't fancy it. My DH generally likes a romcom but doesn't like Bridget Jones either so I need a Bridget jones partner 😂😂😂😂

You sound exhausting and there is no way I’d sit and watch something with you. I don’t care about the issues in old films. I just laugh and say ‘you couldn’t do that nowadays’ and move on. No one needs or wants a lecture when trying to relax.

More like you have no argument. She's right.

What's made worse here is that OP doesn't want to watch these films but her husband is forcing them on her because he gets upset if she wants to do something else like read.

That's the point, OP can't relax because he's insisting she watch these films with him.