To not keep my mouth shut..

[arcticpandas]

So DH loves romantic comedies. Think Love Actually, Pretty Woman, Bridget Jones etc. I don't but each to their own. But certain movies have not aged gracefully imo. Think Pretty Woman. Is it romantic to pay a prostitute? And Bridget Jones. How overweight is she? Not at all imo and yet it's a big part of the plot. Also when Hugh Grant touches her butt it's supposed to be exciting when in fact it's sexual harassment. Maybe it's me getting old 40+ or it's the whole metoo débâcle that has made it impossible to not notice and be annoyed about misogynie and sexism and bodyshaming in movies. My DH thinks I'm a bore and that "it's just a movie" and I get that. Yet I have to either point out what's upsetting if I'm in the living room, or I have to go elsewhere.
So
AIBU - Yes, just shut up and let your DH enjoy his films.
AINBU- No, you are right to point out blatant sexism.
I am seriously in doubt about this one since I do get that DH wants to relax and not having me nag but also I find some things too offensive and I feel I need to point them out since he doesn't see the harm.

I had someone lecture me about what JKR tweeted

After their long winded rant I replied with

“But she is factually correct”

And with your judgmental attitude you'd make Trump proud of you.

Absolutely. JKR gives me hope for the future. I mean she's stating the obvious but she dares to do it in a time when you get cancelled for following scientific definitions of what constitutes a male and a female.

@arcticpandas I'm with you, some absolutely shocking misogyny in films. I didn't watch them originally - they were misogynistic at the time and I don't find it entertaining. My partner similarly likes some (to me) gross stuff . We do talk about it generally but it's her choice, so I try not to roll my eyes too much and go do something else. There's a few things we both enjoy so we watch them together.

Oh god, I totally agree with you in sentiment… but I still love those films (watched Bridget jones last night actually!) and would be soooo fucked off with you keep hammering the same point home over and over while I was just trying to enjoy my daft film! So YA(both)UandNU. Hold those opinions but don’t go on about it during films you know he enjoys.

To be fair I don't hammer it over and over. If he wants me to watch a film with him I say no and why. Then leave. I'm not commenting during the film because I'm not in the same room.

Oh, that’s fair enough! Sorry I got the wrong end of the stick. Yea he can’t really get annoyed about you simply not watching it with him, that’s unfair of him!

Do you point out violence in movies and tell him that's unacceptable? Just let him enjoy his movies and go somewhere else in the house. I would find it extremely annoying getting a lecture about the shows I watch. I think rugby is harmful to the players bodies and I don't watch it because of that, I think formula 1 is bad for the environment, I don't give my husband a lecture because he watches these on TV, I just do something else.

I love JK. Turns out she was right, giving puberty blockers to children could actually present a problem. Who would have thought.

I don't know, I can see both points of view. A lot of movies made say pre 2000 have things in them that are problematic. For example Grease where she changes herself completely just to get a guy. And being Gender Critical I especially notice a lot of these things now more than as a teen and in my 20s and 30s.

But, I still enjoy some of these movies for what they are. Fun classics. So, yeah, I'd point out to him how a part is unrealistic, but then I'd shut up and let him enjoy it otherwise.

I used to love Sliding Doors. I spotted it was on TV a while ago and flicked over to it. Watched it for about 10 mins before thinking "that has not aged well at all" and turning it off!

That said, I'd still watch Pretty Woman, though I agree the plot nowadays would not be given the go ahead. As a film of its time, it's pretty iconic and I know a lot of people feel the same about Dirty Dancing (I never really did particularly like the film myself).

I would not be encouraging a teenager to watch them though.

I still love these films but if someone touched my backside I'm not the type to run to HR I'd grab his fingers and bend them all the way back until he was on his knees apologising 😆😆

I don’t mind dirty dancing.
Baby is 17 I think. Most people have had sex by that age.
Johnny was gorgeous and not some old dodgy pervert old enough to be her father. The vast majority of teenage girls can relate to that film.
It ends with her still being an independent young woman on the verge of being able to achieve her dreams and ambitions. The woman who wrote it said that Baby was based on her.
Also it turns old sexist notions on their head. The male love interest is gorgeous and the object of sexual desire. The female lead is quite ordinary, for an absolute change.

It's of its age. If you've watched it at that time it's natural to feel fond of it but if you watch it for the first time now it won't have those feels.

Don't be a mood hoover. Your husband isn't going to think touching someone's arse at work is fine, nor is he going to think a size 12 is fat or that wooing a prostitute is romantic.

You know you did

I make annoying comments about most sex scenes which I'm sure is irritating for my dh

Pretty much this.

My daughter and I watch all these old movies and enjoy them. We recognise them for what they are, raise an eyebrow sometimes and carry on.

She was in the school production recently, and she came home laughing about how proud I'll be of her performance... Why - well, I'm just some man's wife. Every time I speak, it's about something to do with my husband's accomplishments, even though I'm wealthier than him 😊.

Is Pretty Woman really about an abused woman? She's independent, it's her (admittedly rather odd!) choice of occupation, she hasn't been trafficked and she isn't an addict. At the end, she decides to use some of her new partner's questionably acquired wealth to go to college. It's Richard Gere's character I find unattractive.

You want something that hasn't aged well. Old James Bond movies that keep being on tv. Dh loves them but I cringe so much when he watches them with dc as they are so the opposite of all the consent discussions iv had with dc

People always say that about Grease, that she changes herself just to get a guy etc. But he changes himself too! In the last scene where she's in the tight leather outfit etc, he has dressed himself up like a jock (and there's the earlier scenes where he is trying different sports to try to impress her).

Part of the point of Dirty Dancing is that it's NOT about an older guy taking advantage. He tells Baby that he keeps getting taken advantage of by rich clients who want dancing lessons with him so they can shag him. Whereas he says to Baby something like "when are you going to tell your daddy that I'm your guy?"

Let’s not get carried away. He put on a cardigan. Which he then took off.

Pretty Woman is also loosely based on Pygmalion (although granted Eliza isn't a prostitute!)

😂
The much bigger problem with Grease imo is some of the song lyrics!...

Yabu OP, sorry, but this is beyond annoying. Your OH is an adult who is perfectly capable of understanding these issues and deciding for himself what his views are.
I’m not a huge fan of deconstructing movies using a modern day lens anyway. They were successful in their time. We know more now.