To not keep my mouth shut..

[arcticpandas]

So DH loves romantic comedies. Think Love Actually, Pretty Woman, Bridget Jones etc. I don't but each to their own. But certain movies have not aged gracefully imo. Think Pretty Woman. Is it romantic to pay a prostitute? And Bridget Jones. How overweight is she? Not at all imo and yet it's a big part of the plot. Also when Hugh Grant touches her butt it's supposed to be exciting when in fact it's sexual harassment. Maybe it's me getting old 40+ or it's the whole metoo débâcle that has made it impossible to not notice and be annoyed about misogynie and sexism and bodyshaming in movies. My DH thinks I'm a bore and that "it's just a movie" and I get that. Yet I have to either point out what's upsetting if I'm in the living room, or I have to go elsewhere.
So
AIBU - Yes, just shut up and let your DH enjoy his films.
AINBU- No, you are right to point out blatant sexism.
I am seriously in doubt about this one since I do get that DH wants to relax and not having me nag but also I find some things too offensive and I feel I need to point them out since he doesn't see the harm.

@OnlySlightly I believe she was 17 when it was filmed. There is no need for the kiss in my opinion. This thread is about problematic themes in films. It is admittedly 21 years since I saw Lost in Translation released in 2003 but even at the time I was shocked they kissed given the age gap and that I had loved Bill Murray when he did Ghostbusters in 1984 when he was 34.

Most old sitcoms would not beable to be aired today. Any repeats carry a warning.. think The Royle Family.. mentions of Gays (not in a nice way) fat shaming... sexual innuendos etc etc.
But l still love to watch them... take it with a pinch of salt of the era.

You sound exhausting

You're not being unreasonable not to want to watch them but he can watch if he wants.

Is he always hogging the remote? Do you get an equal say in what you watch?

You sound bloody awful and exhausting, they are films and escapism. I feel sorry for your DH.

Just on a side note do you also point out to your DH and sons when you see colour blind casting in historical films too or does the faux outrage only go one way? 🙄

Are you always so rude? One can agree or disagree but no need for personal attacks.

He would love for us to watch a film together every evening but we really don't have the same taste as I like psychological suspense/drama where as he's loves romantic comedies and some action movies. But I prefer reading anyway, I find it more relaxing so I let him have the remote.

Just let him watch what he wants in peace

I think this may be the source of your resentment. My DH wants me to watch his favourite movies (Reservoir Dogs, The Good the Bad The Ugly, Enter the Dragon, The Great Escape, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' etc.

For me these movies are watch once, I have no desire to repeat them. When I say no to repeat viewing, DH does get very disappointed but equally he will very rarely watch what I want to watch currently (Yellowstone, The Day of the Jackal, Netflix movies like Carry on etc).

So then I think why should I watch his movies when he won't compromise and watch with me?

Ignore the people calling exhausting and awful, they just refuse to get the nuance.

We watch films about nothings that are wrong all the time - murder, kidnap etc

It's ok to watch a film about a women think g she's fat when she looks great.

It would be worse to banish these films and pretend this stuff never happened.

I'm rewatching friends, there's some problematic stuff in there but it reminds we live in a better place and I'm grateful I'm a better person now.

We were chatting in work about favourite TV shows and a few of us said Friends. Cue an up their own arse terminally offended colleague lecturing us about how awful it is, anyone who likes it is likely a bigot in denial, they liked it until they saw the error of their ways etc....honestly bore off.

We just pretended she wasnt there and carried on, thankfully the misery got the strong hint and left shaking and crying no doubt

I don't quite agree with defining age gaps amongst adults in movies (or life) as automatically problematic. When I was 19, I went out with a guy who was 20 years older, and I most definitely wasn't groomed and frankly did most of the chasing.

Personally, I find the Pretty Woman's fairytale treatment of prostitution much more difficult to accept. Saying that, I still quote: "Big mistake, huge!" when an opportunity presents itself.

"There are a few but the massive age gap - she's 15!!!! is the most obvious one."

She is definitely not 15, it says at the start she is going to Mount Holyoke college "in the fall" suggesting she has finished high school and is 18 , or at least about to turn 18.
Johnny is supposed to be early 20s, although Patrick Swayze was older.

Pretty woman I agree hasn't aged that well but I still enjoy watching it.

Bridget Jones is not my favourite movie anyway but I agree with PP that the whole point (especially in the books) is that she is a perfectly healthy weight but wants to be super skinny because of the pressures put on women to be thin in the 90s (ironically when she does lose weight after being in prison everyone says she is too thin)

The only thing I have refused to watch with DH is a Sean Connery James Bond - just couldn't stay silent! Otherwise I think he is an adult and can watch what he wants. If it isn't my taste I will read or watch something else in another room.

Dirty Dancing?!

You sound like a nightmare.

It's Hollywood. It's not real.

You could critique every car chase and fight scene for being over the top and unrealistic.

Maybe just stick to watching the news

Agree on Sean Connery's James Bond - that is pretty bad!

Jesus, just STFU and let the man enjoy the movie. Nobody wants a lecturer next to them when they are attempting to relax while watching a flick.

Things are a product of their time. No point arguing with the past!

You sound like the type of person who wants to ban "Baby it's Cold Outside" from being played on the radio because it's about a sexual predator spiking a younger woman's drink and trying to make her stop with him to get his wicked way. When actually it's about a Woman desperate to overcome social boundaries and looking for excuses to stay, pretending the small amount of alcohol has gone to her head so it would actually be acceptable and safer to stay, so she can instead be sexually liberated and enjoy getting it on with someone she's clearly into.

Not sure which way to vote . DD and I can’t bear to watch early Bond movies because of the roles of women in the films. I wouldn’t ever watch most of them again but ExDP wouldn’t even notice second class treatment of women in these films.

Think I’d have to be in another room. Watching Pretty Woman now, I just think the internet would have a field day when they found out the past life of the Julia Roberts character. And why insist on someone eating snails if you knew they had no experience of them? Different world.

Watching any film from a different era, means it's based on the attitudes of that particular time. Those attitudes may not be so acceptable nowadays but you can't erase the past. You don't have to watch the films, your husband doesn't need a lecture from you, he's a grown adult with his own mind and opinions.

You are right that they have aged very poorly, wrong to insist on 'educating' a grown adult.
Leave the room if you can't be quiet

I love k-dramas.

Lots of 'problematic' elements, and all the better for them! It's just a bit if fun and fantasy, no one is taking life lessons from a rom com!

Hasn't been a decent romcom for years in western media, sanitised = boring.

It's suffocating when someone does a critical analysis when you just want to chill. I wouldn't want to stay around someone like this.

We watched "room with a view" and DD (age 15) declared that love interest boy was an awful predator who should be dumped.