To take my 2 year old to work tomorrow?

[IceCreamMum]

I’m a single mum and I don’t have any other choice as the childcare I had arranged for tomorrow has just fallen through now. I don’t know how my boss will react to me just turning up with DD, I can’t ask him as he’s not answering his phone and he won’t see my email until tomorrow morning when it will be too late anyway. I’m a member of senior management (Head of Department at a Zoo) and unfortunately I can’t work from home tomorrow, I have to be on the site tomorrow one way or another due to work commitments. Would I be unreasonable to take DD to work with me tomorrow? I don’t have any other option whatsoever and I also don’t have anyone else that I can ask for childcare this late either.

This is what emergency annual leave requests are for..

It’s quite normal for colleagues to do this in emergencies where I work.

Unless someone is going to die if you don't make the meeting, it's not that important.

But surely you understand there are some jobs and situations it isn't suitable? There's no point reminiscing to a fantasy time when apparently everyone just took kids to work, everyone else happily looked after them, no one had childcare costs worries. It often STILL wasn't appropriate in situations I'm sure. Just as children not wearing seat belts was normal years ago. You wouldn't say it was a good thing now.

I'm sure it would be fine if the baby in your situation was fairly happy sleeping and being fed with the occasional cry. What if it absolutely screamed for hours? That can happen with babies. What if it was a toddler who screamed MUM MUM MUM MUM and threw themselves on the floor for an hour. Or ran around trying to snatch all the kids in the classrooms work? I honestly don't think everyone happily just bringing kids to work is the answer.
Imagine a therapist bringing their 2 year old into work. So someone is discussing their severe mental health issues and depression while a 2 year old climbs on the therapists lap, hurts themselves, starts crying...... etc etc.

If you work in an office type environment or you at least have a willing (very important) member of staff in that environment who is able to not do any work for however long and JUST watch the child (so they shouldn't be getting behind on their own work or missing calls etc), then fine. But some people will feel pressurised into saying yes when they don't feel comfortable. So as long as the person is happy and it doesn't affect their work or anyone else like customers then yes the child can be taken to work.

YABVVVVU

You have been told multiple times about how pi can source childcare. You've ignored it and instead focussed on "I must take my daughter with me!", which will be disruptive for everyone around you, but also upsetting to your daughter who probably won't understand why she's at the zoo but not looking around.

Perhaps one of the mummy primates would be happy to look after her?

Teachers aren't allowed to do anything like this now! No other children are allowed on site.

😂

Take her. Download the ‘bubble’ app. Organise an emergency nanny / childminder / baby sitter to meet you at work - set them up together with a fun day exploring the zoo.

then you can go about your work day while still being on hand to answer any questions / not leave her totally with a stranger.

it’s still not ideal - but at least it demonstrates some attempt to create space for yourself to work.

Yes it does actually. I've never heard of a nursery randomly closing a day ever. And it should really only close in a life or death situation. So Im intrigued to know what the reason is. All these parents have prepaid (a lot of money) to have their dcs looked after and quite frankly are being left in the lurch.

If your options are to be in work with your child in tow, or not in work, then consider:

• Would your line mgr prefer that you were in work and at this meeting, with your toddler in tow, or not at work?
• Are your line mgr and colleagues more likely to think 'amazing woman, not letting a childcare breakdown get in the way of attending this urgent meeting', or something less complimentary, and how important over the short and longer term is how they might view this?
• If you can't find a colleague to mind your child during the meeting, could you keep them safe and also attend the meeting?
• If you already know the people you're meeting, are they likely to be bothered in the slightest by this situation?
• Is it more disruptive to the people you're meeting if the meeting can't go ahead and has to be-rescheduled?

I've been in meetings in expensive offices with a colleague's toddler merrily doodling on a flip chart on the floor whilst we all got on with business. No expensive suits got covered in flipchart marker, and we got done the things that needed to be done. The reputation of the mother did not suffer in the slightest, in fact, rather the opposite - I and several of my colleagues thought it was quite remarkable and rather excellent that work could carry on pretty much normally with a toddler along for the ride. (This was many years before and the widening acceptance during / after pandemic lockdowns that employees have lives outside of work and that it's possible for these lives to co-exist in a flexible manner beneficially.)

They absolutely did in 1994
As I say it was a baby, but I can actually remember older kids being sat in our classroom because they weren’t well

Sitters.co.uk will help you. I can't believe you haven't thought of getting a babysitter.

Yes, 1994. I said nowadays.
No teacher is allowed to do this now.
Times have changed!

@IceCreamMum

You've been told about emergency babysitters a million times but you're ignoring it. Emergency babysitters are absolutely fine for a few hours, they're all DBS checked, they are used to jumping in and dealing with new kids and if you arrange for them to have a few hours at the zoo (I assume as such an important person at the zoo you can get them free entry - win win!!)

Btw if this thread is genuine I would get it taken down soon as there are a whole lot of identifying details... I can't imagine there are that many single mums of 2 yr old daughters, holding a top zoo job and whose nursery has closed without warning! You're probably the only one in the UK if not the universe!
But tbh, this thread is looking more like one of those tiresome ones where a problem scenario is created and then every reasonable suggestion is batted back as impossible

@Happiestwhen Consider what would happen when there are interruptions to utilities. Clearly, kids could survive without water for 8-10 hrs, but its better for all concerned if they don't have to.

As pp are saying, it very much depends on the workplace. Schools for example - big no-no, but other places obviously seem quite flexible.
Good luck!

You’re kidding? There’s no way childcare could be considered part of a PA’s role.

I don't think this is quite fair. I think it's amazing being somewhere with emergency leave as an option. I immigrated here from a country where this is definitely not and I think the UK is an amazing place to be a working parent.

What people are saying is that it is potentially a liability concern (we aren't allowed children on site ever at my work), it is unfair to expect a colleague to babysit (they won't have PVGs and obviously have their own work) and that the poster should remember that no one is irreplaceable and her parenting should be her priority so she should take emergency leave. She has the right to it and these sorts of things is why it exists.

My staff would never show up at work with a child as that's a ridiculous thing to do. I'd also never ask my assistant to babysit my children as that is also a ridiculous thing to do.

It wasn't fair on your colleagues to message them that late about your childcare issues. Like PP said, no one is indispensable. If your daughter was sick, you couldn't have gone in.

This.

Take a day off for dependants. No one is indispensable. Send in your meeting notes if you have any and ask for a copy of the minutes. Get a colleague to brief you on your return.

so there is a history of people doing this in absolute childcare emergency? That does change the situation.

you could take your DD to work, go to your boss and tell her that you’ll either have to take emergency leave. Or that your DD will have to stay with you today…

There must be other parents in this situation for tomorrow. Could you contact your parent friends and see what everyone else is doing?

We had a similar situation last year in the summer. Dd and ds were both at swim camp for a week but dd is only 5 so could only do until 12. DH had a meeting at 1. I worked on that particular day until 2. He collected dd and ended up dropping her into my office at 1245 (he was wfh in the morning but in office meeting). If it hadn’t been over the “lunch period” I probably wouldn’t have done it. But it was quiet in the office. And dd say at my desk with me did some colouring ate her packed lunch that I’d brought and helped our receptionist put things away.