To take my 2 year old to work tomorrow?

[IceCreamMum]

I’m a single mum and I don’t have any other choice as the childcare I had arranged for tomorrow has just fallen through now. I don’t know how my boss will react to me just turning up with DD, I can’t ask him as he’s not answering his phone and he won’t see my email until tomorrow morning when it will be too late anyway. I’m a member of senior management (Head of Department at a Zoo) and unfortunately I can’t work from home tomorrow, I have to be on the site tomorrow one way or another due to work commitments. Would I be unreasonable to take DD to work with me tomorrow? I don’t have any other option whatsoever and I also don’t have anyone else that I can ask for childcare this late either.

Of course you can’t take a 2yo to work. How can you do your job and have her with you all day. Please don’t assume the staff at your workplace will babysit her instead of doing their own jobs (and I’ll bet it is a woman who is asked). Sometimes there are emergencies and you can’t go to work, this is one of them.

That’s why I need to be on site tomorrow too, due to an important/urgent meeting that I have to attend one way or another that can’t be done remotely.

Only you know if the setting is appropriate and the work set up suitable to deal with this. I took one of mine when they were older and able to sit and read/draw, but a 2 year old is full on.

@IceCreamMum Can you just go for the meeting rather than the whole day? I think people would be understanding of that vs if you had a two year old running round the office all day!

Will you be in an office setting or are you going to be in more functional zoo areas?

People have brought children to our office building in a pinch from time to time. It’s not ideal and it is distracting, but it isn’t unsafe. It’s almost always for part of the day and an extremely rare occurrence. Private offices are the norm so it’s easier to keep children contained and it’s really only during meetings that it is an issue.

if you work in a functional part of the zoo, there must be regulations about children being in the space. We love taking behind the scenes tours and there are often age restrictions and even requirements for the clothing we wear. I’m sure some of those come from the zoos or aquariums, but I’m guessing some are from larger oversight.

😂 this has to be a joke - nobody would just rock up to work with their child in tow and expect it to be all fine 😁

That wouldn’t be ok in my organisation. I assume if you need to be on site that’s for a specific reason and I’m pretty sure they’ll think you can’t get whatever it is that needs you there done whilst looking after a two year old.

I'm a single mum and feel your pain. However, if I was your boss I’d expect you to call in early tomorrow morning and take emergency/parental leave.

I probably could go for just the meeting although I would need to see what my boss says in the morning if I can get hold of him in time before it’s too late!

So who do you expect to look after kid while you are in your meeting? Will you foist it off in some other member of staff therefore disrupting their day. Totally unacceptable.

In this case, and if you don't think there are insurance implications as some people have pointed out, then in your position I would take her. I assume you know you won't get a proper full day of work done, but it might be more beneficial for your work to have you attend even if it is only for a small time and with her in tow than to miss a day. This would certainly be the case where I work anyway - some things are extremely time sensitive but also fairly quick, so it'd be better to do them on the day even if it meant working many fewer hours.

That’s why I need to be on site tomorrow too, due to an important/urgent meeting that I have to attend one way or another that can’t be done remotely.

Yes but if she was up all night vomiting you'd take leave. It's always possible.

Where are you planning on putting her during this urgent and extremely important meeting??

And your DD will be where when you attend the meeting exactly?

I’ve known the CEO to do it once and also another Head of Department has done it once but other than that no. Both were a few years ago.

If you're happy for anyone in your department to do it, go ahead. It sounds like only higher ups are allowed, which is awful.

I think it depends whether you can do your job and look after your child at the same time. I know people who have done it but they had office jobs with their own private office.

Is no one else interested in the Zoo boss job!

If the nursery is closed do you have contact details for any nursery parents? We have a nursery whatsapp group and i know alot of the nursery kids reasonably well. I'd take one of them for a few hours in this situation if someone was absolutely desperate.

Depends. If I go in for just the meeting then just one of the office buildings. But if the whole day then probably both although I could probably get away with just staying in the office buildings for the day anyway!

Well obviously it's unreasonsable as an office is no place for a two year old, but if you think your boss will prefer you there with the kid to not there, then do. Think constructively about the period you need to be in for, who can be asked to babysit, and take things to entertain them. Don't stay longer than necessary, and try and build up some back up care options eg mum friends ("I know it's hard if you, 're busy to make them)

I doubt their insurance will cover 2 year olds on the workplace. You either need to take emergency leave or book an emergency babysitter (use the internet to google this)

If it was an absolute emergency then yes I would be happy for someone in my department to do it but only if it was like this situation where there is absolutely no other option!

Surely the zoo has policies for needing a carers day? This is what they've for! Imagine if you were to suddenly develop appendicitis or a kidney stone tonight. You wouldn't give the zoo a second look on the way to the hospital. They will manage without you. Delegate you are senior management

I don't see how you can both work and fully supervise her? Unless you have a PA or similar who could be responsible to an extent, but even then it's not really their remit. I'm presuming they're more interested in caring for animals than children at your workplace. 🤣

But if you genuinely have absolutely no choice then I guess you'll just have to do it.

What would happen if a minimum wage staff member, possibly public facing, had a similar scenario? How would it be dealt with then?

It should be a fair policy for all if it is indeed occasionally acceptable.
Otherwise it could seem unfair and bad optics to other parents who struggle.

What possible situation can there be that is so urgent that only you and your 2 year old can deal with it?

I’m just messaging back and forth with another senior colleague now who has offered to potentially look after DD during the meeting, she’s going to check her diary now to see if she’s also free at the same time as my meeting!

The elephant has escaped.