To take my 2 year old to work tomorrow?

[IceCreamMum]

I’m a single mum and I don’t have any other choice as the childcare I had arranged for tomorrow has just fallen through now. I don’t know how my boss will react to me just turning up with DD, I can’t ask him as he’s not answering his phone and he won’t see my email until tomorrow morning when it will be too late anyway. I’m a member of senior management (Head of Department at a Zoo) and unfortunately I can’t work from home tomorrow, I have to be on the site tomorrow one way or another due to work commitments. Would I be unreasonable to take DD to work with me tomorrow? I don’t have any other option whatsoever and I also don’t have anyone else that I can ask for childcare this late either.

I get you're a single mum but it's still likely she has another parent - can't other parent, their parents, friends, family, anyone have her for a short while for your meeting?

Also surely it must be possible for you to not be there - what if you woke up with D&V, or your DD needed to go to hospital? Or you fell down the stairs in the morning and broke your ankle? Things happen, there must be redundancies or your zoo needs a serious looking into.

Please don't say that you are Head of Department with the felines 🤣.

What an horrible situation to be in, but wtf are you meant to do, other than phone in and tell them you can't come in because you have to look after your child? Surely they have policies in place for parental leave?

😂😂

As long as you don't leave her in the lions enclosure, I'd take her.

https://www.emergencychildcare.co.uk

a few options on here if needed

If you had D&V tonight into tomorrow you could not physically go to work. They would manage without you or rearrange the meeting.

Do whatever you want but get into your head that there is another option.
Then over next weeks/months see what you can do to build at least a small network- other mums, maybe use a particular emergency nanny so you get to know how it works.
Itvwo be too easy for this to become more than one off if your child is not well or nursery shuts for something else. It would be on that day it is vital you are concentrating fully wfh or in the office.

But she is senior management at a zoo! Presumably important in some way or other. If a hospital had a consultant out and people died because no one was trained in to do a particular procedure other than them they'd get done for not having a redundancy of another person trained.

Fuck knows what OP does but if she's in charge of an animal and is the only one that can deal with an escape or something to do with the animals welfare and her absence means an animal or person could come to harm - the zoo is at fault for not having a second person trained. Every important position has a deputy that can step in.

Bet you're fun at parties!

• Plenty of people can look after a child whilst still getting work done
• It is not completely inappropriate to take children into work environments (some exceptions will apply, but speaking generally)
• I'd hazard a guess that zoos are insured to cover having 'random kids' there.
• I doubt a 2 yr old human would be any more distracting or unfair on her colleagues that work with beautiful and cute animals and their off-spring all day long
• OP says she MUST go in, worst case, they send her home if they don't like it. Calling in sick would be lying.

It's shitty messaging colleagues at 11.30 at night OP. Stop it.

Personally if someone brought their child to work in your circumstances I'd happily watch the kids for a few hours, it's not the end of the world bringing your kid to work. But messaging people at night about this stuff is crap, time to go to bed and leave people alone OP!

I attended 2 Teams meetings last week where the most senior person in attendance simultaneously led the meeting and comforted a small, sick child.
No one batted an eyelid.

You need to message your boss and explain that you won’t be onsite tomorrow x

You're entitled to emergency leave for an unexpected childcare situation like this. Your employer has a choice: they have you missing for the day, or they allow you to bring your daughter with you. There's also a middle ground where you attend just for anything important. Their choice - if you can't get hold of them before you would normally set off, you could turn up and explain the choice. Some employers can't allow children on the premises, but others will be able to cope - you'll have a better idea than we do about how it might work. Alternatively, just tell them you can't make it.

I had a colleague who brought her 3 year old in one day because her childminder was ill, and our boss agreed that it was manageable and it was better than being without her for the day. A two year old might have been rather more difficult. Other colleagues looked after her for part of the day, so she could be somewhere where she could move around more and not have to be silent - nobody minded, but then it was a good team.

The other option might be to ask whether any of the other parents in the same boat are able to help out. Certainly if the nursery is going to be closed for more than one day, you need to try and see what you can put in place - perhaps if you don't have other people's details you can ask the nursery to forward a message.

If I were asked to look after someone else's child at work, I'd be royally pissed off.

@SofiaAmes I kind of agree with you, my heritage is European and the cultures my parents are from are different to here.
However, there are different attitudes in the UK in other ways. Children here are honestly not very well behaved compared to where my parents come from and the difference is stark when we visit. Parents are generally stricter and it's normal for "the village" to not only care for others' kids, but also to keep them in line. I grew up with "aunties" who were really friends/neighbours, but damn straight they were to be respected as much as your parents. Here, people get offended if you even say "no" to their child, even if they're about to stick their finger in a plug socket or something!

Us Brits can't have it both ways. We can't have a nuclear family culture where only parents are the absolute authorities in a child's life and nobody else dare comment, even when little Johnny/Jenny are climbing the walls, and then complain that "the village" doesn't want to help out in an emergency in the same way as they do in more collective minded cultures.

I also don't think there should be a requirement in every workplace to be child friendly. Some just aren't. I worked in mental health, that just wasn't a suitable environment for children and it was common sense not to bring them in. Plus, your colleagues would have appointments all day, so there was no "village" to mind a random kid.

Hey OP, huge respect for you for showing up and trying to get the best situation. You got this! show up tomorrow and worst case scenario your boss thinks it’s not good idea and sends you home. My guess is he will see the effort and dedication you put in respect this over you pulling a sickie. There are two types of people in work, those that get shit done and those that think of all the excuses not too. This is why you are HOD. If I was your colleague I would see your are in a pickle, understand you never do this and be happy to help out for an hour or so. We gotta support other women in the workplace. You will smash the meeting! You might find yourself in this situation again so also suggest to find emergency options you have in the back pocket. Good luck.

I'm now going to start a guessing game of what the meeting is that the OP absolutely has to be in for. I am guessing it's related to Wilfred goes to France. And before anyone complains...this is hardly more outing than the OP saying she works in a zoo.

I don’t think anyone should expect you to use random childcare found on the internet. Just because it might be available doesn’t mean it’s right!

As an employer I would respect your efforts to try to work and try to accommodate you bringing your DC to work. It might not b a perfect arrangement but it’s better than nothing. That said, I can see that there might be practical difficulties if you are a soo keeper, in which case I’d probably suggest you stay home.

My business generally pays for compassionate/ family leave within reason, so I would probably tell you not to come in with your DC and pay you anyway.

I'd have thought there might be Health & Safety issues, or insurance limitations. I'd also think that a 2 year old wouldn't be included in the staff side arrangements for evacuations, etc.
I know you say you have to be there, but if you got hit by a bus/had a heart attack/your parent was very ill, you'd be off. No-one is completely indispensable.

@Dueanamechange2025 yeah, me too. But I was just thinking that's the closest person you could reasonably ask. Even then, it's a piss take.

If you aren't sure whether it's ok or not and you can't contact CEO to ask now, and it's vital you are in, I'd take her in and go straight to see CEO on arrival and explain and ask them what they want you to do. Or call them first thing if that works out timewise.

I've played out a lovely Disney film in my head while reading this thread where an orangutan mum plays with your daughter and her own wee ape toddler while you're in a meeting, and they form a lifelong bond.

It was very moving.

The funniest thing about this thread is the fact that some people think Heads of Department in zoos spend their time wrangling animals. 🤣

The nursery is closed that's why she's got no childcare.

People on here always bang on about finding a random nanny on the internet 8 hours before you need them but realistically who’s leaving a 2YO with someone they’ve never met like that? My 2YO would have been so upset.

Hope you get sorted x

🤔

Quite