@Waffletots
You are doing so well and are so strong. It's a rollercoaster of emotion which is understandable. We all admire your resolve.
For what it's worth here is my advice, similar to what has already been said.
But some other key points.
A) Keep keys in your doors, you are entitled to keep the home secure at night. as anyone would for genuine security reasons.
B) Reach out to him with either a short email or SMS, you have to be as tactical as possible at this point. State that you need to focus on the coming birth and need as little stress as possible. And that if he needs more of his items from the home, you will have them packed and he can collect from X and liaise with them to meet (your brother or father).
State that given the circumstances you would prefer he didn't turn up unannounced. And to please make arrangements with you and your family.
Keep stating about you and your family.
I suggest asking him in this message to respond that he 'understands' and agrees with this arrangement.
This is quite important, you need to know if he can subvert his own emotional state for the sake of your wellbeing and that of your unborn child. And respect your wishes on this.
The reason I say this Waffletots is that so far, he has expressed incredulity and indignation to your lack of response/communication. No expression of concern for your current state of pregnancy or that of your toddler. There has been no apology or contrition. No indication that he accepts responsibility.
I wouldn't necessarily expect him to apologise at all, so don't wait for it.
But the fact he's not expressed any concern for your wellbeing given what has happened is worrying.
His responses imply that he is angry and frustrated at a situation you are now determining and driving. And he is not able to manipulate the situation to how he wants. There's seemingly little concern or empathy there.
You need to ascertain whether or not he can be responsible at a time of physical and emotional difficulty for him.
That's what I'd do, I would want to know if in all this he can be reasonable when in a state of great difficulty.
If he flips out at this, or doesn't respond or agree, and argues then you have your answer.
Likewise, don't allow yourself to be alone with him. Always have another present and that he respect this.
You can always justify this as concern for the coming birth/contraction and birth plan, but you need to have someone with you.
As ultimately Waffletots, his infidelity is horrible, but more specifically you don't really know him or who he really is. He's lied and lied to you consistently for such a long period of time. And you don't know his motivations for this affair, act as such.
C) I recommend you have a family member with you at the house, preferably brother or father.
D) Purchase a Ring/Blink front door camera or similar and install. It will give you some comfort.
The reality Waffletots is that you will have to remain in contact with this man for the coming future and make more long term arrangements re the house.
Keep all of your correspondence calm and civil.
Best of luck and look after yourself always. xx