Aibu going to church so my child goes to a Catholic school

[ThatEdgyBlueScroller]

I was raised a Catholic and found mass boring. School was high achieving but to be honest religious education wasn't that well respected by students.

I wish I could attend a church that could give my child and I a community... I just don't believe in the teachings, but morally I agree with some teachings.

Would I be unreasonable to attend church and get my child baptized/christned etc just to guarantee a school place?

Believing Mary is a virgin is a pretty fundamental part of Catholicism. Even Protestants don't dispute that....

We are CofE.
I hope my youngste child will be accepted at a local Catholic secondary next year. Because of the shared Christian values which are important to our family and because it's a great school.
My kid would thrieve at it.

Oh my 😂

We live in South London and have been visiting primary schools for our eldest. DH is Catholic, I'm CoE and the DC have been baptised Catholic. For the nearest faith schools near us:

1. v small Catholic school, only need to have been baptised to qualify, no regular attendance needed,
2. massive Catholic school, only need to have been baptised to qualify, no regular attendance needed
3. mid sized CoE school, 10 out of 60 places in reception are reserved for those who attended the linked church for two years prior to admission, the rest are usual admission criteria (LAC, siblings, distance etc) but school currently undersubscribed so largely irrelevant at the moment as anyone who applies will be offered a place

I suspect very much that the falling rolls in London mean that faith schools which would have been very strict in the past in terms of regular worship are now becoming less strict / baptism only in order to maintain admission numbers. So it's definitely worth carefully reading the admissions criteria on the school website because I was quite surprised at how relaxed they all were.

Exactly.

My dc went to a c of e primary school. Youngest is still there, the others have all left. We are Christian but don't go to the church associated with the school. I would say most of the families aren't Christians or regular church goers. I think ds1 got in one admission category higher than he would have done if we weren't Christian. The others all got in as siblings which is several above "Christian attending a non c of e church" anyway. The church does a huge amount for the school so I think the tiny number of children who regularly attend in each school year should get their slightly higher chance of getting in to the school.

Tbh around here it's the secular schools that are the most popular. I think it's fine to attend church to get a school place as long as you don't then complain that the school is too religious.

If you believe in the Ten Commandments you wouldn’t be taking His name in vain and bearing false witness about your (nonexistent) faith in Christ to get your child into a school.

and by the way, it was Moses who parted the Red Sea.

Do what’s best for your kids OP. I’m sure god won’t mind, just tell him you wanted then to be closer to him! 😳😂

Where are you getting your information regarding other faith schools from? Because whatever your source is, it seems to be rather racist rubbish.

My children attend a Jewish school. In a class of 30 children in my youngest child's class at least four are not Jewish. I obviously haven't asked everyone their religion so there might be more, but these are the ones that have told me they're not Jewish. There are non-Jewish children in every single class in the school. They all have the exact same admission criteria regardless of religion.

Do what's best for your DC and family, OP.

I've known people quite openly (to us, not the priest!) attending church for the school. It's pretty common in some areas. People don't usually admit to it in primary school, but admit it much more readily by secondary, by which time everyone is a bit more relaxed.

It worked out very well for them: they actually quite enjoyed the community aspect, and the school was good. The kids did hear quite a lot of Catholic ideas, but don't believe now as teenagers. The schools don't seem to have a problem with the kids not believing.

When you speak to Catholics who are very committed to the church, they are worried about dropping numbers of Catholics in the UK, and see Catholic schools as a way to get kids to believe from a young age. So a better school place in return for a chance to indoctrinate your DC seems to be a quid pro quo the church are happy with.

And you seem to have fairly ambiguous beliefs, and seem OK with going along with Catholic ideas, so it shouldn't be a clash. You can still talk to your DC about your beliefs and give them a broader view. Just bear in mind that they repeat everything to teachers when they're small!

We have a Catholic school next door to a state school. Some of my friends kids go there. They accept about 20% non Catholics but favour religious kids (of any religion) over atheists.
It used to be the desired school and people would be like you and pretend to be church goers. The priest got fed up and made people give details of their previous church to demonstrate that they didn't start going to church after they got kids just to get them in.

Now the pressure is off as the schools reputation has really gone down hill and is quite rough and the teaching not as good in comparison to the state school. So lots of people have moved over.

They absolutely do discriminate! And the whataboutary on Jewish and Muslim schools is ridiculous. The poster said no state schools should be faith schools not just Catholic schools 🙄

When the church puts up 50% of the funding then it can decide how 50% of the places are chosen. VA schools get to decide the selection criteria as some archaic legacy from a time where the were providing much more of the funding than they do now. The Chirch of England have caught up and advised that preferably at least 50% of places should be non church places. The Catholic church is yet to catch up (and is unlikely to tbh)

YABU. Why put your child through the religious dogma/claptrappery, if you don't even believe it yourself?

Catholic schools are not all they are cracked up to be. Fair enough if you were religious, if not a state school will be just as good.

Both my dc had a catholic schooling, eldest was christened youngest not. The schools they attended were by far better than the local schools. Neither have attended a mass since school. If I could not have got youngest in as a sibling would I have attended church and had him christened? Yes I would have.

Oh holy moly.... The bible is a storybook for illustrative purposes.

Please don't conflate the stories in the bible with women's reproductive rights, or the biblical hypocrisy that are the 10 commandments.

Send your child to whatever school you feel is best. Be prepared for pushback if you are a pretend Catholic for the purposes of a school place. You might get less than you bargained for.

C of E schools can be the same. We hadn't long returned from working in a military school in Germany when we applied to an over subscribed school, we had been regular church goers there and at our newish address, 18 months or so. I got a call from the school asking about our previous church and I suggested they contacted MOD for a reference from our last Padre

If you were raised as a Catholic, OP, they did a lousy job. Maybe a Catholic education isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Parting the Red Sea 😂😂😂😂

So weird or cognitive dissonance.
Some parents value education highly, scrimp and save to send their children to the best school they can afford. Some even though they don't have faith, send their child to the faith (Christian) school. Yet support governments that try to eliminate those types of schools under the guise of fairness, trying to create equal outcomes.
No country every excelled by reducing everyone to the lowest standards.
Put pride aside, enquire as to what makes these schools great and replicate that if success is to be seen.

No!

There are other ways to belong to your community. Be a regular in places (the pub is a good start!!, joining 'helping' groups (whether that's food banks or litter picking), join activity groups walking/painting/whatever floats your boat.

id personally find the best state school, focus on education for your child, not religion or community.

I think as long as you don’t just stop attending once you have the place. My friend got married in a church purely for the photo’s. She justified it with a reason for why she didn’t believe (loss of a parent young) but I thought it was a bit off really. She also had her children christened and never attended the church since. Same goes for my other friend, children christened for the occasion rather than my belief in God. I had my eldest christened, but was a regular church goer and I took him to Sunday school every week. I didn’t have my other 2 christened as dad has a different religion.

My favourite thing about going to church was the community, they were a great bunch. I do sometimes think i’d like to start going again. Maybe one day.

In my part of London, catholic primary schools have dropped the certificate of catholic practice as a requirement for admission starting with applications this year.

Our local priest signs school applications to confirm the attendance of parents at mass.

This isn't true for all Catholic schools. In my local area the allocation of places is done by the local council, you just have to provide proof of baptism for faith schools.