Aibu going to church so my child goes to a Catholic school

[ThatEdgyBlueScroller]

I was raised a Catholic and found mass boring. School was high achieving but to be honest religious education wasn't that well respected by students.

I wish I could attend a church that could give my child and I a community... I just don't believe in the teachings, but morally I agree with some teachings.

Would I be unreasonable to attend church and get my child baptized/christned etc just to guarantee a school place?

I just think it's teaching your kids hypocrisy and bending the truth to get what you want.

I wouldn't have my kids darken the door of a faith school though, let alone one which is going to give them a guilt complex for the rest of their lives.

What a farce.

I think it’s wrong as you would be taking the place of a child from a genuinely catholic family.

Everyone I know that went to a catholic school knew at least one teacher/staff member from their school days since charged with sexual assault. No doubt they are not as bad these days but I wouldn't want to have any association with an organisation that covered up and supported abusers to the extent the catholic church did.

My daughter went to primary school which was Catholic. A really great school. I had a meeting with the principal who asked for birth and baptism certificate. I said birth certificate is fine but she's not baptised because DH is a Lutheran, I'm a very very very non-practising Catholic and we don't want to pretend to be believers and go to the church to keep pretences only for our DD's place at school. The principal said fair enough and we got the place at the best school in town.
To me, schools based on any kind of religious ethos make little sense if at all. Children should get great education which is independent of any religion or persuasion. TBH, I wouldn't like if a school would preach atheism either - it's important to maintain freedom of choice.

Posts in AIBU and responds aggressively to any differing opinion…

No state funding should be given to state schools. Simple as that. If you want to discriminate on the basis of religion do that within a private school. Faith schools breed intolerance and division.

It's amusing to think of how many people think there is such a form of education that isn't considered "indoctrination" by one group or another. How do you know which group is the right one? Are you relying on the state for this?

That's unfair for all those who cannot afford it.

I did this.

Raised Catholic but didn't practice, all schools worth going to in area are Catholic. The non denominational schools were all ofsted rated as poor or needs improving.

I wanted them to go to the school I attended which was 'outstanding'

Got DS1 baptised and into the school and all his siblings were not baptised but got in on sibling placements.

I don't see why children should have to have a subpar education over a lack of baptism.

This

I did this. Baptised Catholic, non-believer but wanted DC to go,to the excellent Catholic schools near us. I also wanted them to belong to a community.

DC are in their thirties now. Neither of them are believers but are still very much of the school/church communities.

`i'm still vague about what I believe but still attend mass and take communion regularly. Belonging to the parish has given me a wonderful set of friends and support network. It's like having a big extended family all around me.

Yes it's fine. We did it to guarantee a place in our village school (CofE) rather than get allocated a school miles away where DS wouldn't know anyone and transport would be a nightmare - everyone in the village does it. The school is not oversubscribed anymore (quite the opposite, I think they have 11 children in reception this year) but it was when DS was little.

It's insane that we have state schools in this country which are legally permitted to discriminate on the grounds of religion, and it's particularly egregious in rural areas where literally the only primary for miles is likely to be CofE. It's basically telling jewish/catholic/muslim children that they are less worthy of a school place.

I do think there is enormous hypocrisy from those who want the benefits of institutions built on Catholic thought and teaching and feel its ok to go in, and dilute the culture by not adhering to the faith. I think it's wrong and unfair to those who put in the effort. If you want something because you perceive it as better, it's surely worth investigating why that is rather than just taking what it has built and has to offer. Catholicism is a beautiful religion and provides an anchor that has created schools that exceed the secularists state offering, why is that? To think you can just take the positive without taking seriously what created it looks to me like sawing at the branch you're standing on.

Likewise in my state school. Many non religious teachers also charged.

I think yabu, but no more hypocritical than many others who do the same
And indeed, anyone who professes to be a Christian

It’s fine. The school and community are part of their evangelising.
You may find after a few years you are fully sucked back in and carry on attending, which is the whole idea of it all.

Lots of non-religious people (or people of the 'wrong' religion) send their children to a religious school because it is the only local school. If I wanted to send my child to a non-CofE school I would be looking at a 20 mile round trip every day. Would you really expect parents to do that to a 4 year-old?

I haven’t read all the replies so I apologise if this has been mentioned ect.

My DC 8 goes to a catholic school, he isn’t baptised & nor have I ever attended church with him. My eldest also goes to a CofE secondary school & again never been baptised nor attended church. As far as I’m aware all schools that practise religion have to take in a certain amount of children who are not catholic ect.

DH was brought up Catholic and went to RC schools, though not religious as an adult. I am nominally C of E but not at all religious.

Before we had children, DH actually used to say that he would never send any children of his to a Catholic school. No, nothing to do with any of the abuse scandals, just it seems his primary was really crap and taught mainly by superstitious old ladies who liked to pile on the guilt. I think his secondary school was largely OK.

Anyway when DD was born we did decide to have her baptised RC. Not at all for school reasons, just we knew that his family would love it if we did and mine don't feel strongly enough about religion to mind which flavour of church!

We rarely went to church after that, just when PILs visited, but we were obviously on their list because just before DD was 3 we were invited to an Open Evening at the local primary. As it happened this was the nearest school to where we lived so DH went along. He was very impressed and, long story short, she ended up going there and subsequently to Catholic secondary. Did all the rituals - First Communion, Confirmation although it wasn't obligatory. No more religious now than us but she got a decent education

The hatred of Catholicism on Mumsnet breeds intolerance and division. This level of hatred towards Islam wouldn't be tolerated, yet Catholics are fair game for some reason.

At the one near me you can just give a donation in lieu of attendance; if it's big enough the priest will sign the form quite happily

Sorry, can you point to me to the part of the post where that OP said “faith schools, except Muslim ones which I think are absolutely fine”? I’m not seeing it.

There is a huge problem with falling pupil numbers in London so schools are merging and closing. C of E schools seem to be really suffering. The C of E school I worked at last year closed and the majority of the pupils went to the nearby Catholic school. They were absorbed in mid year with no issues at all regarding faith.

I don't think religious people should have better school options than non religious people (unless they are paying for it.) So on that basis I wouldn't be bothered if people tried to cheat the system to get a better school. They shouldn't have to though.

No, do it.