Being so jealous of this family

[Gryunbjj]

I don’t know where it comes from but it bothers me. They go to a state school with my son and are constantly going on lavish holidays, they have a 2 million house (righmove check confirmed), they always appear impeccable and without fault. I don’t understand and it bugs me.

I’m from Essex, I work ft and raise 2 kids.

Why not? The money they save on school fees clearly funds their lavish holidays? Our kids have moved from private to state for 6th form and, boy, are we making up for lost time by finally having a few lavish holidays a year now (before they head off to university and we start paying for that, instead, but you probably have an issue over that too?).

You have not asked for help or advice?

Yous haven’t look at earlier posts of mine where I have.

Why yous made that face

I clicked 'see all' and none of your posts on this thread have asked for help with anything or for advice 🤷‍♀️

Maybe they have inherited a large amount, maybe they sold a business and retired. Maybe they have home based jobs, maybe they have passive incomes, maybe they won the lottery. Whichever it is, good luck to them. I am materialistic, I love stuff, I have a huge house, my kids are in state education. I also look like I don't work as I work from home in the hours I choose, i also come from nothing and have found life hacks to earn money as I do lkve money, it is my primary motivator as I never want to be poor again. I have a hugh risk tollerance so I take huge risks with my money that pay off sometimes and then we go on crazy expensive holidays, and sometimes it doesnt and I soend thr nrxt month buying yellow sticker food. I never look down my nose at anyone.

So?

Why did you think that post was the “most genuine and from the heart “

it’s an odd comment to make, I’m sure every comment is genuine and from the heart. If the latter can apply on something like this.

Do you think that makes them better than everybody else?

Jealousy is often a really useless emotion, OP, so for your children's sake fix it.

My daughter is a scholarship kid in a private school and we live in a HA flat. If we begrudged the families she's surrounded by, she'd likely have no friends. Her two closest friends are from families that are loaded (or at least appear to be), but when I hear them cackling in my living room, not one bit of it matters.

They've just gone through 6th form applications/assessments and chatting to one of the moms, she was so pleased with how supportive they were of each other...
Please don't allow your feelings to get in the way of what could be good friendships for your children.

It's quite normal to feel jealous OP. It isn't normal to be so angry about it. I can quite understand why they might be "cliquey" if people act like you.

You need to work on yourself and your inferiority complex, OP. Genuinely, this level of stress over another family isn't normal - have you tried therapy?

OP feeling jealous is yanbu. I do, everyone does.
Letting it shape your views and act on it not so good and yabu.

Tbh many could be jealous of you. Your raising two kids and live in a 3 bed house whilst holding down a full time job. Compared to many people's situations for various reasons you sound epic.

Looking put together..some days we do. But it's not to project an image. I do my make up on days I feel awful as a war mask and self care.
The kids sometimes wear posh labels, but I get them from vinted as I tend to like reusing clothes and budgeting. New things I get on a store card in bulk and pay off monthly. So I could appear quite lavish but it's actually the opposite. We've booked a holiday..but it's on a payment plan so it's paid off before we go and not a big sum at once. Their "lifestyle" is achievable on appearance doesn't necessarily mean they are loaded and loving life. The house could be from inheritance etc.

When I feel how you do and feel really begrudged I tend to think about what I do have and how I worked bloody hard for it and I am beyond proud. So I wont let my jealousy tarnish my achievements that were all off my own back. Then I tend to think me personally wouldn't want a 2million pound house 😂 only if I could afford a cleaner and the elevated running costs! Not practical for me and would accrue so much more stress.

Besides when kids visit friends they don't count the bedrooms, wonder about costs. They tend to look at the home vibe. If there is a cool bunk bed they're not allowed. How many chocolates are in the cupboard. If the park is in walking distance etc.

Yeah the problem is you, not them.

I feel sad for you op, and your kids, your kid was invited to their home for a play date, clearly the kids like each other, but due to your own issues surrounding what they have v what you have, you can’t bring yourself to invite them back, that’s sad for your kid.

You haven’t asked for help or advice though.

Envy Is natural but what you’re displaying is jealousy and it’s not pretty.

Which posts? None of your posts ask for advice.

Help with what?

What specifically do you need help with?

I don’t want to feel this way.

Yeh you're going to have to get over yourself here so you live in a normal sized house? If anything the rich friend will feel more weird because his house is so unusually big.

Remember there's kids out there living in one bedroom with their parents and siblings. Imagine how they feel bringing friends over.

Oh, they'll be landlords. You're being super weird and massively projecting.

I wouldn't send my kids to private school even if I was loaded.

Then please seek therapy.

You need to stop thinking about this family and how much money they have. Stop talking about them. Stop making assumptions about them. It isn’t healthy.

You need to accept that life isn’t fair.

You need to channel your energy into your own happiness.

Concentrate on your children. Hobbies. Things that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself.

You’re coming across as really bitter, and it’ll do you no favours in the long run.

As I said - get therapy.