Being so jealous of this family

[Gryunbjj]

I don’t know where it comes from but it bothers me. They go to a state school with my son and are constantly going on lavish holidays, they have a 2 million house (righmove check confirmed), they always appear impeccable and without fault. I don’t understand and it bugs me.

Could not agree more. Independant schools aren’t always better. There are some awesome state schools that can be better than Independant schools even.

What advice do you want though, you have a ridiculous irrational obsession and nothing we say will solve that?

I think it’s hard for a number of reasons and the definition of hypocrisy.

1. You asked us to be kind but you have been nothing but disparaging about this rich person only because they have money.
2. Your examples are petty and in no way are offensive to you or anyone else (showing pics of their house and son in school photo).
3. You have said they are mafia or gangsters because they don’t. Work - people can be wealthy or have inherited money. That is pretty crap to say that of people with no proof.
4. You have critiqued them because they are sending their kids to state school which is their right.

Since you asked for advice I would say stop worrying about such petty things in life. Stop worrying about the things you can’t change and that in no way affect you. Being negative about other people will only make you feel bad.

Unfortunately your post and ongoing posts sound slightly obsessive.

I’m not sure how you can be helped. You know you’re jealous. You know it’s you and not them, you know they are doing nothing wrong. People can tell you to focus on what you do have, try to stop obsessing, but honestly, if you’re a jealous materialistic person and want what they have, and want to slag them off as you don’t have what they have, I’m not sure anyone can help ypu really.

You posted on AIBU. And majority thinks you are BU. Many have offered advise too. Life is unfair, OP. Get used to it.

It’s just an example I used from my own experience of people who do the same sort of thing on social media. You don’t have to choose to be defensive about what I’ve written for no reason, you could just scroll past.

Why?

I remember when my daughter was in reception and her best friend lived on the top floor of a block of flats. She loved going to her house because it meant she got to go in the lift. She would always come back asking if we could live there.

Children have a very simple way of looking at things.

That poster isnt being defensive, that’s the wrong word , they’ve disagreed with you taking a “fact” and extrapolating from that fact that they are obviously posting and showing off on social media without knowing them. A bit of critical thinking though, if everyone scrolled past something they disagreed with this site wouldn’t work. The op would post and everyone would post and say what ooh yes I agree?

Ok - things that might help:

Be grateful for the things that matter - your son, your health (hopefully that's ok), family, friends, home, pets

Stop thinking about this particular family, you may as well be angry at Posh & Becks as well!

Start a Go Fund Me and send her the link (juuuust kidding)

These people sound upper class. They will be perfectly fine, think of your sons friendship

What gives you that impression other than the fact you went out of your way to look up the cost of their house 🤨

you know people save money, some people have jobs better than others, or some people may just come into money by inheritance or winning bets/lotteries ect. There’s literally no reason to be this snarky about a family taking holidays and living in a bigger home than you 😅

It's fine to be jealous of others and something I have sometimes been at fault of doing (although a waste of energy but we're people not robots) but I also recognise it's a me problem and not the fault of other people. And I don't try and villianise them to justify it to myself.

The irony about the OP disapproving of others not showing kindness when there has been nothing but needless nasty judgements flung at people who are seemingly just innocently living their lives is just too much.

Now awaiting drip feed that someone through the grapevine saw this family kicking a seagull or something, so they are loaded and nasty.

I'm not blaming you being jealousy, as I was before, even so I'm not now still wonder where do get big money from though?

Because you feel, for whatever reasons, that they don’t deserve the money / lifestyle they have, so you feel annoyed / judgmental / envious of them for it. The solution, partly, is to realise that the world isn’t fair. I’m not saying they are ‘bad’ people since I don’t know them, but bad people do often get ahead in life. Good people often suffer. This is life. The rest of the solution is that you need to work on your own happiness and sense of self-acceptance so that you stop focusing so much on other people’s lives vs your own. So what if you live in a smaller, less lavish home? It’s your home, be proud of it. If they or others judge you that’s their problem. What do you have to feel lesser about? Not going on lavish holidays? Well there are people even richer than them, going on even more lavish holidays. Maybe these people own a castle, or an island. So I guess they should feel inferior and jealous of these other people as well. And on and on. And there are people with less than you have, as well, who would look at your life and see you being bitter about people with more money and think, what have you got to complain about?

Thanks, you’re answer is from the heart and most genuine!

Huh?

You think they should live in a £250,000 house instead of a £2m one just so people like you don't feel annoyed?

My kids are always immaculately dressed in expensive clothes which I buy cheaply on Vinted!

Yes you can.

Comparison is the thief of joy. And your inverse snobbery is very unattractive. It's your problem, not this other family's.

You need to do some serious self-reflection.

Not a snob I grew up in Essex! All hard working working class peeps.

I went to a state school. One of the girls in my class’s dad was a surgeon, my dad was a postman. 🤷‍♀️

Not everyone in a private school
is rich and not everyone in a state school is poor.

This post reeks of inverted snobbery.

Working class people from Essex aren't better than anyone else.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Need-Your-Love-Approval-Appreciation/dp/0307345300

So what?

If they take their kids out of state and put them in private how will that benefit you?

You are coming across as very odd.

To be fair, it's unlikely to be a very "grounded upbringing". State school demographics reflect their catchment areas

And people from Essex don’t, by virtue of being from Essex, work harder than someone from Norfolk or any other county.