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Original poster

Being so jealous of this family

251 replies

Gryunbjj · 09/12/2024 21:22

I don’t know where it comes from but it bothers me. They go to a state school with my son and are constantly going on lavish holidays, they have a 2 million house (righmove check confirmed), they always appear impeccable and without fault. I don’t understand and it bugs me.

OP posts:
mommatoone · 09/12/2024 22:50

OP , I had a friend like this- house not worth as much, just kids were dressed head to toe in designer gear. Flash car, holidays etc. The fact is she was in debt Up to her eyeballs, and hanging on by a thread to pay the school fees. Don't believe everything you see.

Bringonchristmas36 · 09/12/2024 22:52

My friends life looks perfect, houses all round the world. Yet her DD has a not obvious learning difficulty. Very difficult to manage. You wouldn’t know if from the outside. I thought their life was perfect.

user1492757084 · 09/12/2024 22:53

Their kids can't help it if they are super organised and have more money.
Invite their child to your home. Why do you think they can not see lovely people in a smaller home? And kids don't always notice the same details as adults.
One of my best friends lived in a make do commercial shed for two years. It was still warm spirited and left lasting memories.

MushMonster · 09/12/2024 22:55

But, do you actually know this family?
Ok, they do have quite a bit these days, but they may have grown up around the corner and worked their socks off to get what they have.
Your child was invited to theirs. Just invite their child to yours. Ok, no pool, but it is the friendship what matters. You can take them both to the local pool if what they love is swimming.
You are overthinking this.

Safxxx · 09/12/2024 22:57

Stop the envy OP focus on your own blessings the grass ain't always greener on the other side. Be content with what you've got and stop bothering with what doesn't concern you. Jealousy is a nasty trait

livingafulllife · 09/12/2024 22:57

get on with your own life and stop stalking others.

MermaidMummy06 · 09/12/2024 22:57

I've been working in financial planning for a year & have learned that what you see isn't always the reality.

Take my DB, who is a client. Everyone thinks he's rich. Yes, he earns well, lavish holidays, fancy car, eating out, and all I hear is how well he's doing. But he spends it, too. He has mountains of debt and in their 50's they have very little pension saved. Meanwhile, the dumpy looking, dull sibling (me) who is very conservative with money, less fancy home etc has a huge pension & has paid off their mortgage. Holidays are what we want to do & not bragged about.

My SIL is unpleasant & like the mum at your school. I know she's off on another lavish holiday now. Her DH has left her once already & it was kept hush hush.

You really don't know!

allthatfalafel · 09/12/2024 23:00

MermaidMummy06 · 09/12/2024 22:57

I've been working in financial planning for a year & have learned that what you see isn't always the reality.

Take my DB, who is a client. Everyone thinks he's rich. Yes, he earns well, lavish holidays, fancy car, eating out, and all I hear is how well he's doing. But he spends it, too. He has mountains of debt and in their 50's they have very little pension saved. Meanwhile, the dumpy looking, dull sibling (me) who is very conservative with money, less fancy home etc has a huge pension & has paid off their mortgage. Holidays are what we want to do & not bragged about.

My SIL is unpleasant & like the mum at your school. I know she's off on another lavish holiday now. Her DH has left her once already & it was kept hush hush.

You really don't know!

Exactly, I follow a home influencer who up until a few weeks ago it looked like she had a very successful online store, recently spent thousands on garden furniture, huge house, always on holiday. Turns out her company has just gone under to the tune of 60k in debts, she's been throwing parties and going abroad while not paying her staff their (min wage) salaries for months.

InterIgnis · 09/12/2024 23:01

Or things may be exactly as they seem - they’re a happy family and not in debt.

Imagining others are secretly miserable in order to make yourself feel better has always seemed fucked up and frankly weird to me.

77Fee · 09/12/2024 23:03

Isn't checking house selling prices quite common in your neighbourhood, just, you know, to keep informed of current market values? Even if you are not actively buying/selling.

Candy24 · 09/12/2024 23:05

TammyBundleballs · 09/12/2024 22:49

The selfish ones like to use state resources. They are the ones who should be taxed more not those who ease the state education budget by paying for their own children’s education.

Show quote history

oh wow that is stupid. Honestly everyone is entitled to a free education.

FestiveFelines · 09/12/2024 23:07

InterIgnis · 09/12/2024 23:01

Or things may be exactly as they seem - they’re a happy family and not in debt.

Imagining others are secretly miserable in order to make yourself feel better has always seemed fucked up and frankly weird to me.

We are/were that family when our children were growing up. Some of the comments on this thread are wild. So what if we had a big house with pool, nice cars etc. We never once judged anyone else but people judged us for what we have. We’re just a normal family.

Sonowimbackfromouterspace · 09/12/2024 23:07

MrsSunshine2b · 09/12/2024 21:27

So they have more money than you. Is this the first time you've encountered rich people?

Hahahah! 😆

Normallynumb · 09/12/2024 23:10

Focus on your own family and appreciate what you have

HoppityBun · 09/12/2024 23:11

Blimey the sanctimonious crowd are out tonight to put you in your place OP. I understand a bit of how you feel. Many, actually most, of my contemporaries live in much larger houses and are more successful. I don’t think that you or your son are “ashamed” as one PP put it, about your home but you are self conscious about the difference, and that’s understandable. Life is a lottery, really.

Londoneye20 · 09/12/2024 23:11

Rightmove check confirmed
( batshit)

cannynotsay · 09/12/2024 23:11

Jealous, insecure, that's how you're coming across, you're only seeing gay they present to the world. You've no idea what is going on behind closed doors. Get a grip

SabreIsMyFave · 09/12/2024 23:14

Londoneye20 · 09/12/2024 23:11

Rightmove check confirmed
( batshit)

😆

bagginsatbagend · 09/12/2024 23:19

Gryunbjj · 09/12/2024 21:53

As they have to have their kids dressed in expensive clothes, they’re never out of place always perfectly coiffed, think LA but in Upminster!

Show quote history

Having their kids well dressed doesn’t mean they think they’re better than anyone else, it just means they like the way they dress their kids. It sounds as though you’re struggling with jealously & it’s clouded the way you think about others. Are you able to pay for therapy? I really recommend getting support whenever you’re struggling with anything

InterIgnis · 09/12/2024 23:20

HoppityBun · 09/12/2024 23:11

Blimey the sanctimonious crowd are out tonight to put you in your place OP. I understand a bit of how you feel. Many, actually most, of my contemporaries live in much larger houses and are more successful. I don’t think that you or your son are “ashamed” as one PP put it, about your home but you are self conscious about the difference, and that’s understandable. Life is a lottery, really.

How is it sanctimonious to point out that this family has done nothing wrong?

OP’s issue is just that - hers. Imagining that they’re really drowning in debt and unhappy may appeal to the miserable desirous for company, but all it does is feed an unpleasant mindset, it doesn’t actually improve anyone’s situation.

Crazybaby123 · 09/12/2024 23:24

We are that family, probably not the exact one. But we do it all on credit cards and work 4 jobs between us, we arw hustlers always looking for the next thing to make money. We have no savings, it gets blown on crazy holidays. We are risk takers and took out loans on the house to buy crypto, made a load, spent a load, lost a load. Bought a flashy car, someone drove into it and wrote it off. Spend our last 400 on a pair of shoes and just hope we can turn it around next month, then get a new work contract that sorts us out. Its just a different attitude to risk and if you are willing to take risks it can pay off, but you also have to know that you could end up broke if it doesnt pay off. For us, its how we like to live. We are not rich but it would certainly seem like that to anyone else watching our spending habits. A more sensible approach for us would be to downsizez stop spending and save. But we dont want to.

Edingril · 09/12/2024 23:27

They do have one thing going for them, they are not you

Ilovelifeverymuch · 09/12/2024 23:27

Gryunbjj · 09/12/2024 21:31

i think like they want to be better than anyone else

Are you jealous of them or are you annoyed that they try to be better than everyone else? Two different things.

And frankly this sounds like a your problem, really you're checking their house prices on right move 😂.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 09/12/2024 23:29

ssd · 09/12/2024 21:28

The only thing i hate worse than rich bastards is sanctimonious ones....

And how did your reach the conclusion that they are sanctimonious rich bastards?

Crazybaby123 · 09/12/2024 23:29

We are that family, probably not the exact same one lol, let me tell you a secret.. we are in debt to our eyeballs, we take a shit ton of risks with our money, we dont value savings, we value experiences, we work 4 jobs between us and hustle. We dont care if we go bankrupt as for us its the thrill of the chase, we play with crypto, weve lost big and won big. We also would like to be more sensible but we cant as were just not able to no matter how hard we try. And we never, ever judge anybody with a smaller house.