Adult child has to make their bed before going to work

[jtyy5]

It is my parents house so I follow their rules and I have no intention of bringing this up.

I am 24 and live with my parents, it is a house rule that I have to make my bed before going to work.

Is this a silly rule or setting a good example?

That's bonkers.

My child makes their own bed before school. I find it a bit icky that an adult would go to work and leave it unmade.

I think mines grew up watching me always make beds that she has learnt it’s an automatic two minute job you just do.

My kids have to make their bed every day. The youngest is 17. It takes less than a minute.

They can let it ‘air’ if they want. I sometimes do. But it must be neat and tidy.

Daft imo but a small thing to do if it matters to them.

I find it icky to pull the duvet straight over potentially (likely) damp and sweaty bed sheets

What?

My bedsheets are never damp and sweaty

I'm in my 40s and I rarely make my bed. Seems like an entirely pointless activity.

But all those things affect the rest of the household. It’s deranged to impose rules about something that makes literally zero impact on anyone else.

Bedding needs to be aired, & they should not be in your room.

Context is the key here.

If they're otherwise lovely, don't infringe on your independence and treat you like an autonomous adults who is (presumably) paying rent then making your bed is a minor thing in the grand scheme of it. Although I don't buy the whole "it's their house" argument, it's your home too.

If however the bed-making issue is symptomatic of wider issues around controlling your behaviour and treating you like a child still, then you have bigger problems than a bed.

Your parents telling you what to do is ridiculous and the rule to make the bed is ridiculous. I'm nearly 50 and never make my bed and I doubt my life is the worse for it. I just don't care.

I presume you pay some rent and therefore I think your bedroom is your private space. Providing you are solely responsible for own your laundry, including bedding and towels, it is nobodys business the 'state' of your bedroom. We all relax in different ways.
I hope they let you live the rest ofyour life on your own terms. But I would be saving like mad to fund my escape!!

Are you in fact paying rent?

My mum was the same - it was one of many similar things that made me leave home. It just doesn't affect anyone else whether your bed is made. I haven't bothered since my mother made me and it makes no difference to my life.

I couldn't care less if beds get made or not. They get more air left unmade! I don't think people who want them made are silly though, but I do think insisting on another adult doing it is very controlling. Why does it matter to them if your bed is made or not? I assume they don't intend to use it themselves?

What other rules do you have to live by?

My 4 and 5 year old turn down their own beds and make them tidy before going to school. I dont understand why an adult wouldn't make their space tidy before leaving the house.

Yes it's a silly rule BUT it is your parents' way of expressing something that isn't silly at all: either (a) their worries about whether they have helped you enough to master all the basic self-management skills you need in order to thrive; or (b) their fears about still having to be there for you in a supportive parenting role when they had imagined they might have been able to start letting go..

It is TERRIFYING having an adult child and worrying about their well-being. It makes people crazy and it never ends. To some extent, it may be necessary to lean into the project of reassuring them by jumping through a few hoops.

I think airing and making your bed should come automatically, definitely at 24 yo 😉

Silly rule. It's not as if they are spending time in your bedroom whilst you're at work and they feel the unmade bed looks unsightly. It's also better to air your bed/ sheets so leave it unmade. It's fresher that way.

I can't abide unmade, rumpled beds. (Airing is ok). It takes no time at all. Unmade beds are a lazy habit in most instances.

I think enforcing the rule on an adult is a bit much but if your parents are putting a roof over your head and you know it matters to them then perhaps it would be respectful to do so.

I don't really understand why rent would make a difference either way - does money give you the right to make irrational requests of other people who live with you?

Do you pay rent?
Does your parents do washing including linen etc?

I think depending on those answers is whether unreasonable or not.

However, I think they shouldn't be in your room so shouldn't be seeing it

If we don't tidy up after meals we run out of dishes, it makes them harder to clean, and we might get insects or rodents. Same goes for garbage bags, if we leave garbage on the floor it's disgusting, hard to clean, may get sick.

If you don't make a bed all that happens is you come back to an unmade bed. No one else even sees it, and on the occasions they do it doesn't impact them in any way.

I moved back in with my parents for a few months in my 20s after a relationship breakdown. They had the same rule - it's not necessarily something I do living on my own, but their house their rules!

Might seem silly but it’s a good habit to gain which you will probably be grateful for when you are older.