DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

There’s always one 😬

I'm more concerned about this than the ungrateful comment.
Some children are ungrateful- maybe she is, maybe she isn't.

More important, is why she's having to rub along with a man she doesn't care for. Why is that necessary? I wouldn't be in a relationship rubbing along anyone, so I'm interested to know why she doesn't have that option.

She can't do that, it's legally his his too.

Police? He's not your husband and he's not paying rent.

Well he wasn't when I started typing .. Love a drip feed 😆

Did you post the other day Op?

Doesn’t matter. She put him on the tenancy. It is legally his home. No one can remove him. OP can choose to leave though, get herself off the tenancy and let him deal with the rent.

Didn’t mean to drip feed, I came here for the comment initially but people are are more questions which I’m happy to answer honestly as a way of trying to make sense and get things organised.

Damn. Have just seen this. You might need to contact Citizens' Advice.

I can’t imagine he’s going to knock the door quietly when he realises the key doesn’t work and then politely ask her to open it can you?
Any hint of a raised voice will be sufficient for a police officer to remove him from the scene.
If you happen to film all this as well OP, that would be handy

Is it a tenancy with a private landlord or council? How long has he been on the tenancy? (And not actually paying rent!)

I’d get rid, reminds me of the type of comment my old “stepdad” would make. I didn’t get on with him as a child/teen, ended up being quite resentful of my mum too for how she’d let him speak down to me, especially once i’d had my own child. Hated walking around on eggshells in my own (mums) house!

Please ignore this poster. It is very dangerous advice. Do not change the locks to illegally evict him and then fabricate a scene to have the police arrest and detain him.

You got yourself into this mess. You’ll need to take the time to get out of it legally.

If he gets verbally or physically abusive when you tell him to leave then you have every right to have him removed.

Speak to landlord, change the locks, keep throwing his stuff out. He will fuck off eventually.

Can Op even change the locks?

Hopefully he will see the sense in moving out if he can't afford to stay there alone.

Doubt it though.

Are you on a fixed tenancy or rolling?

my usual question really. What does he bring to the party?

Does your landlord have other properties? They know you are a good tenant they might be willing to quietly move you to a different home without mentioning to him.

I'd still end the relationship though, stop cooking, cleaning and doing any laundry. He might find it frosty enough he loves our but that's not ideal for your DD

My brother walked into his house that he was on the mortgage of. Caught his wife with her knickers down.
He shouted a bit, the police were called. Who do you think got removed from the property ?

It really doesn’t take very much to be removed. The police don’t like shouting people.

Was he then arrested, and bailed to a different address? No.
They cannot evict someone on your behalf, especially not an illegal eviction.

Stop giving bad advice. He will get back into that home so she needs to do it properly.

If the OP does that, she will also face the legal consequences of changing the locks and illegally evicting him.

It’s rolling now, the joint was only for 12 months so ‘expired’ 5/6 months ago.

I bet he did. Even though he hadn't bothered to organise his own security while he was an unwelcome guest with his family.
If you decide to separate, speak to your landlord, you do need to get him off the tenancy but it might be really hard. You said he can be a twat, what do you mean by that?

Thank you. Just miserable and negative, quite self centred

My tenant a lovely woman whose partner left when she had a baby ten years ago has moved her boyfriend in. He's started flexing his muscles with me complaining about something. I totally ignore him only dealing with her by email. It'll be a cold day in hell before I'll agree for him to become a tenant.

She's a hard worker who's retrained, started her own business which is doing well. He sells bits on eBay and sits around all day.