DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

He is on the tenancy 😢 it was my house, I lived here for 5 years, just me and DD, but when he moved in, he wanted the ‘security’ of being on the tenancy and at the time it made sense

I would give him 48 hours to get out. Definitely tell him you will call police if he refuses to leave. He has no rights at all.

he has no rights he isn’t even a lodger as he doesn’t pay rent but give him an eviction notice and say until the end of the week or you will get police involved

There’s no man who’s more in love than one who needs a new address …..

He’s not a lodger, he doesn’t a notice. He has no right to stay at all.

Still change the locks. And if he causes any trouble call the police they will remove him not you and your daughter. He can take you to court if he wants to pursue the matter.

Oh FFS. Well, good luck. You’re not getting him out.

You put him on the tenancy when he doesn’t even contribute? And you moved him in because “love” when you’re daughter didn’t even like him and you gave absolutely no thought to that.

You’ll have to give notice and move out I guess. Leave him with the tenancy and start over.

oh crap. Do you know the landlord well? Call them first thing and say you need him
off the tenancy.

I'm in the don't ever let a man in when you're an SP camp - because of instinct mainly but the reality maths doesn't add up. Usually after any relationship breaks down the DM ends up with the main dc responsibilities and therefore home. This equation might be changing a bit towards a bit more male responsibility but still has a long way to go until a true balance can be reached. Even when the DM goes from a spacious house to a Council/SH home - the DM is in charge of getting the home and keeping it.

The lone-DM with a roof put over their dc's heads far exceeds the numerous amount of ex-DPs (usually male) who have to forage around for a bedsit or live back with their mum whilst still maintaining contact with their dc which often proves difficult.

Now the reality of being an LP on half the income of a couple can be/is rather boring if you're dedicated so many LPs gravitate towards similarly 'ain't it shit' men to give life a semblance of joy beyond the looking after dc. The live at my mum's/bedsit/house share ex-DPs are finding their semblance of joy finding you too.

It's really not the greatest dynamic to form intimate, long-term relationships so I've opted out of the whole damn thing for ease of life and general happiness.

HAHAHAHA No! Definitely not!

WTF

Cheeky, cocklodging, clueless, childish cunt!!

Good on you for pulling him up straight away. Your daughter will always remember that 💖

Making a minimal contribution to expenses, and yet confident enough to criticise your daughter for being "ungrateful" for...?

What a prince.

How long do you have left, do you think he’ll agree to go amicably

The police will not remove someone from their own home, which they are on the tenancy for. Not unless there is another reason for the call (domestic abuse). The OP will be the one in trouble by the end for illegally evicting him and changing the locks.

Please call shelter tomorrow or citizen’s advice, you need proper help since he is on the agreement, that really complicates things.

Can you speak to Shelter tomorrow and get some advice about the tenancy?

-You bag all of his stuff up in black bags, and put it by the front door or in his car if it's available.

• You get the locks changed during the day so you don't have to worry about him coming back in.
• You tell him to leave, preferably with someone else there and if he doesn't you ring the police.

He doesn't just get to stay at your house because he doesn't want to leave. Plenty of Travelodges available for him if he's burnt bridges then that's his own fault and he should reflect on that.

Think about how you phrase things. You aren't having a chat. You are telling him to leave. There is no wriggle room. You don't have to have any reason at all to break up with him and don't have to justify yourself.

Personally it may be dark but it's still fairly early I'd do it tonight.

Yeah. If he won’t leave probably this tbh.

The police absolutely will remove him if he’s causing any sort of a nuisance of himself or threats of violence.

As for the tenancy agreement, does he have a copy of it? If not what tenancy agreement?

It’e actually his house now. Just as much as hers. Because she added him to the tenancy. She cannot do any of that.

Boyfriends come and go, your daughter is for life. I couldn't stay with someone my children actively disliked.
Hope you don't have any hassle getting him out your home.

Steady on! OP needs to speak to the landlord. He or she can perhaps help Op by serving HIM notice.

Aye. There's something similar in "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". The Sidney Poitier character's father rants about his hard life (as a postman, I think) working to put food on the table. Poitier interrupts him and says something like "You did what you were supposed to do!"

But he hasn’t. And going home, trying to open the door, then knocking on it and telling her to open up won’t be a “nuisance.” The police will not remove him. They will suggest that OP can go elsewhere if she doesn’t want to stay with him but they not illegally evict him for her. He hasn’t done anything for them to remove him.

Really?!