DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

God he sounds awful! Stay strong!

@Rosettespur stop explaining to him why you want him to move out, he doesn’t care and will try to gaslight you into feeling unreasonable and emotional whatever your reasons. I would just say you give me the ick and I don’t love you, you owe him nothing Op so you might as well say something final.

Call the Police. It’s your house, you are not married. You have ended the relationship and he won’t leave your home.

edited to say, I just saw you put him on the tendency. That seems a bit mad to me, but no point dwelling on it now!

FFS. Another one with this ridiculous “advice.”

She cannot call the police to have him removed from his legal home. It is just as much his as it is hers. Hey, why doesn’t he call the police and have her removed? Idiots.

I don’t know about the council where you live but with mine if someone moves in to your home they can only go down as an occupant for the first year or 2 and after that you need to call to say you want them listed as a tenant instead. If your renting private though i don’t know how that would work.

Does he want to pay half the rent? Can he afford it? If he can’t or won’t then he has to fuck off as you are ending the relationship. You can be a tenant but if you don’t pay then you you get evicted

He needs to go. Your daughter does not deserve some horrible unrelated man in her home making her feel uncomfortable.

Look on the positive side u know u want him gone now. If he refuses call his bluff tell you will move out and make him the only tenant and he's welcome to the rent and bills and buying new furniture because everything belongs to you. Hopefully he will realise he can't afford it and go quickly. If he doesn't tell him he is liable for half of everything and your not together and he can sleep on the couch or spare bed and not do anything for him make his life as miserable as you can. I really hope he's goes quietly and if you can prove he's not paying you any rent you you might get him out legally hope your landlord helps you. What a horrible cocklodger!

Hopefully you can get rid without too much stress 🤞

Sarcasm really does get lost on a lot of posters.

Jesus, roll up your sleeves, he’s in the trenches! Keep fighting!

Of FFS, read my edit 🙄

Don't know why you're laughing (🤣).
He pays nothing, your daughter doesn't like him and 'rubs along' and is forced to live with a prick who slags her off.
What the fuck is wrong with women like you? Why are they so desperate for a man they'll force their kids to put up with this crap?

So bloody stupid 🙄.

My mother got with a man when I was 10 years old and she was with him until I was 20 and he was very much like your DP by the sounds of it. And my mother regrets it sooo much that she stayed with him as long as she did because he became quite resentful and almost jealous towards me and it seemed to get worse the older I got. Just rose tinted glasses and all that at the time, but he made me feel unwelcome in my own home a lot growing up and it's quite damaging. Sounds like you know what you want to do now though and I hope you manage to sort the tenancy out!

The edit you made after quoted you? Because you didn’t read the thread, nor the hundreds or posts saying the same as you and then then also being corrected.

You’re quite right, before I posted, I had only read 3/4 of the OPs posts. I then corrected my post. What is wrong with you that you choose to spend your time on here ranting at people who made an error, then corrected it? You need to get a fucking hobby and maybe take-up mindfulness 🙄

Oh absolutely. But he also isn’t paying towards it. She could call his bluff - you leave or I will. He can’t afford it. Hopefully whoever she speaks to on Thursday will be able to help. (Ex-) Partner sounds like a nightmare.

You can go and get an occupation order and if you feel as if you’ve been threatened or you are being threatened, you could probably have that within 24 hours.

To apply for an occupation order, you'll need to provide evidence that you're experiencing abuse and that you have a right to the property:
Evidence of abuse: You can provide:
A sworn statement, or affidavit, detailing the abuse you've experienced and its effects
Independent reports from police and health professionals
Statements from witnesses, such as a domestic violence support worker
Social services reports
Photographs of your injuries and damage to property
Text messages
GP or health visitor records
Your diary
Evidence of your right to the property: You can provide:
A tenancy agreement if you rent
Banking papers if you have a mortgage
Evidence that the order will protect children: If you have children, you'll need to share how the order will protect them

You'll also need to complete form FL401 to apply for an occupation order.

To increase your chances of winning an occupation order, it's important to gather as much evidence as possible.

Occupation orders can:
Enforce the right to remain in occupation of the property
Require permission to enter and remain in the property
Regulate the occupation of the property
Prohibit, suspend, or restrict the exercise of occupation in the property
Require the departure from the property
Exclude from a defined area in which the property is located

How are things today, OP?

People don’t change unless they are 100% onboard that they are in the wrong and commit to something big like therapy. Doesn’t sound like has capacity for that. Your daughter is most important. Don’t muck up a lifetime of mental health for her because of a man that doesn’t deserve either of you x

You pack his bags change the locks and leave his stuff on the doorstep whilst he’s out!

Just wanted to say good luck. It's a horrible situation to be in. I had a cocklodger, the scales only fell from my eyes when he left. When you care about someone, you overlook stuff and hope for the best. I hope he goes quietly and you can get back to your life

You might want to read OP's updates and then consider an apology for your nasty comment.